#hello outcast

[dark-nymphs-fanfiction]

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Angstober – Prompt 8: Unidentifiable

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“Okay, what's going on?” Dick trusted his brother, but that didn't mean he had to like being bossed around. Dick would have almost ignored Tim's order and continued beating Roy if he hadn't seen in Tim's eyes that his little brother was not well.

“I had to get out of there,” he explained, and only now did Dick see that Tim was fighting back tears. Tim had an incredible gift for appearing professional and cold, so it was easy to forget that he was just an underage boy who had lost his big brother. Dick slowly pulled him into a hug, because if he was honest, he needed one too.

Dick had already learned at the age of eight that seeing the murderers of a family member suffer and die made you happy for a short time, but it didn't heal any wounds. The emptiness would always remain, and it was difficult to process this, especially in their profession. The underworld didn't want to see a grieving family, let alone one led by one. They had to be strong, even if they just wanted to hold their brother in their arms again.

“You don't understand, Dick. If I hadn't left… I would have killed him. That would have been too quick. He didn't deserve such a quick death.”

Part of Dick was relieved that Tim had controlled himself well enough to leave at the right time. (Dick wanted to be the one to kill Roy.) But another part of Dick still felt drawn to the room to vent his frustration and grief on Roy.

Tim made a choked sound that only came out when he tried to hide a sob, and Dick was reminded that he was exactly where he should be. With his brother.

“Do you think we should let Bruce know we found Roy?” Tim asked, but Dick shook his head firmly and his hands clenched into fists.

Bruce had spent the last two months looking for a body rather than Roy. He had said something about needing a body to find closure, but Dick saw things differently. He didn't want to find Jason's body, not anymore. If they had found it after seeing the surveillance footage of Jason's death, it would have already been softened and bloated by the river water. Dick could have handled that, even though the thought of seeing his brother like that made him sick.

But now two months had passed, and no matter what animals had gnawed on Jason and what currents had torn his body apart, it was enough for Dick to not want to look at it anymore.

Divers had found pieces of Jason's clothing and even his gun. That had to be enough. Dick couldn't live with seeing a mass that he could no longer recognize as Jason.

Dick's voice was grim as he replied to Tim. “If he needs a body so badly, he can find out about our discovery as soon as Roy is dead.”

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Angstober – Prompt 4: Still remember

Like the previous part, this one contains mild torture and violence.

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“Do you remember us?” Tim asked in an icy tone.

Apparently, Roy had been asked to answer, because shortly afterwards, a firm hand grabbed his chin and turned his head to the side without mercy. His eyes were pried open with two fingers while the hand pressed down on the wound on his head. It throbbed, and Roy was sure it was Dick who had knocked him down at the motel.

“Do you even remember him?” Tim asked, and Roy's eyes widened when he realized Tim was holding out a photo of Jason.

It was a photo Tim had taken himself, and Roy knew exactly when it had been taken. He recognized the suit and the background. It had been taken on the evening Roy had first met Jason.

A few months later, Jason had confided in him that Tim only took photos of people who meant something to him, and Roy had looked at Jason, seeing how much his love for his family hurt him, because it was enough for Jason, but not for both of them.

“Tim asked you something,” Dick growled, tightening his grip. Roy knew Dick wasn't fond of Tim's questioning. But the Waynes were a family, and if Tim needed these questions to come to terms with Jason's death, Dick wouldn't stand in his way. Just as Tim wouldn't stand in his way if Dick needed to let Roy die slowly.

“Yes, I still remember,” Roy whispered, unable to stop the blood from running over his lips. Somewhere in his mouth, a tooth had been loose since Dick's punch, but it wasn't bad. Roy had been through worse.

What was important was that the two of them didn't know about Jason. They didn't know he was still alive, and they wouldn't get their hands on him. Roy wouldn't let anyone from the Waynes punish Jason for his betrayal.

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Angstober – Prompt 10: Doesn’t feel like home

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"When Bruce took me into his family, I was so happy. Dick and you weren't thrilled with me, but it quickly changed and it was the most perfect family I could have imagined. It only got better when Tim came along and I was finally able to bond with him."

"That's how we felt too, Jason. That's why I don't understand why you could do this to us. We mourned you, still do."

Jason tried to take a breath to loosen the lump that had formed in his throat. He would have preferred to have this conversation once he knew Roy was safe, but Jason had to admit to himself that this was probably his only chance to explain himself in peace without someone beating him up or cutting off parts.

"Because it's started to not feel like home anymore."

"I don't understand..."

Of course not, and unfortunately Jason didn't know if he would ever be able to make her understand. The forest path grew denser, suggesting that he would soon come to a settlement or an abandoned cabin.

"Roy and I became fast friends, but just as quickly we realized that neither our friendship nor our other feelings for each other would be tolerated."

Barbara's voice came through the cell phone's speaker. "I know there was something between you. I should have brought it up, maybe I could have helped you."

Jason laughed silently. How could Barbara have helped him? Nothing she'd said would have convinced him that his feelings were wrong and that he'd find someone better.

"Bruce made it clear that he wouldn't tolerate our relationship. In his eyes, I was just a naive boy who let himself be used. Maybe he was just trying to protect me from pain, but it didn't feel like that, Babs. Instead, it was like someone had put a collar on me and every second I was forced to suppress my true feelings and give up my dream of a happy life with Roy was a second I felt like a prisoner. Gotham, Wayne Manor, was supposed to be a home, but a home is no place you don't want to be." Jason barely realized that tears were running down his cheeks. He had never summarized these feelings like this before and it wasn't enough and at the same time it was too much. Jason forced himself to keep talking. "But the last two months have felt good and liberating. I know I've betrayed the family with my misdirection, but my death has given me two months I wouldn't have had otherwise. Roy shouldn't have to suffer for my decisions, though."

For a few seconds Barbara said nothing more, then she spoke again. "You'll be right there. I won't be able to support you any further in the coming conversation, but rest assured that I will do everything I can to make sure your Romeo survives."

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Angstober – Prompt 9: Lie

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Jason had hastily packed her things and thrown them into the car they had used earlier. Now that the Waynes had found Roy, he no longer needed to be subtle. But that didn't change the fact that he had no idea where they had taken Roy. With the Waynes' money, they could afford not only every department store in town, but also a private jet to a completely different state or even country.

Frustrated, Jason let out a cry before jumping out of the car and running to the phone booth at the other end of the parking lot. He would have stolen a cell phone if necessary, because there was no time to lose, and that meant acting fast instead of smart.

The number for Wayne Manor was burned into his brain, but he dialed a different number and waited for Barbara to pick up. It took less than three seconds. Not many people knew her number, and those who did usually only called in emergencies.

This was an emergency.

“You have to tell me where Dick or Tim is,” Jason demanded, almost unable to believe that the voice was his own. He sounded desperate. Jason was desperate.

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Babs, please. Tell me and I'll turn myself in. Make sure they don't hurt Roy and I'll accept any punishment without complaint. I won't run away. I promise.”

“Jason?” Barbara asked, and Jason couldn't quite place the emotions he heard in her voice. Did she sound relieved? Did she sound happy?

Even if he was wrong about these things, he could say with certainty that she didn't sound angry, which was not what he had expected.

"Yes… It's me," he replied uncertainly, relieved to hear her typing something on her keyboard. If he was lucky, she was trying to locate Roy at that moment. If he was unlucky, she was trying to locate him to make it easier for the bounty hunters to find him.

"Jason, grab a cell phone and call me back on the way. I'll guide you to her location as long as you meet me halfway and answer my questions."

“Understood… But please, Babs, tell them not to hurt him.”

Barbara sighed, and it didn't sound good. “Jay, I can't reach them. Roy's best chance is to get you to him as quickly as possible.”

She didn't have to tell him twice. Jason smashed the window of another car when he saw a jacket on the passenger seat. Luckily for him, there was a cell phone in it, and he could only imagine how a man would have wanted to prevent his wife or boss from calling at an inconvenient time.

Other people would probably have just taken it into the room with them, but maybe the guy had been robbed by his hired prostitutes before.

Jason didn't care, he dialed Barbara's number and stepped onto the grass.

“Turn left out of the parking lot,” she instructed him, and he followed her directions. A small part of his tension eased, knowing that he could still do something. Knowing his siblings, they wouldn't do it quickly. That gave him time. Jason just didn't know how much.

“So your death was all a lie?” Barbara asked, and immediately the tension returned. Jason would make it to Roy, but that didn't mean they would both make it out alive.

But if Jason begged hard enough, he might be able to convince his brothers to let Roy go. Jason had to make it work.

“Roy did shoot me, but it wasn't a fatal wound, and the Queens aren't known for nothing for having as many Lazarus pits as the Al Ghuls.”

Jason didn't like to think back to how the water had felt on the wound. It had played with his emotions, and Roy had often had to bring him back to this world in the days that followed, when their escape began. His mind had simply drifted away and he had lost control of himself.

Jason didn't want to know what happened to your mind when you took a whole bath in those waters. Maybe that was why Oliver had been so crazy as to expel Roy instead of protecting him from the Waynes' wrath.

“Take the forest path that appears a hundred meters to your right,” Barbara instructed before asking her next question. “Why? Why the lie? How desperate were you to get away from us that you had no choice but to resort to this lie?”

Jason took a deep breath before sharing a certainty that was difficult for others (especially his family) to understand. “There was no other way.”

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Angstober – Prompt 6: Fatal flaw

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"Jason, your feelings are a fatal weakness." Bruce usually looked at him as if Jason was something special, but today it looked as if Jason wasn't talking to his father, but to his boss. Jason wasn't talking to Bruce, but to Wayne - the leader of Gotham's underworld.

Roy had warned him that it would be better to keep their feelings secret. But where Roy had been sure that Oliver would never support their relationship, Jason had hoped that Bruce would understand that this was important to Jason.

"Roy won't hurt me," he replied, and Jason's voice didn't waver. As sure as Jason knew the sun would rise the next day, he knew Roy would do whatever it took to keep Jason safe.

"He's just toying with you," Bruce explained ironcladly. "The Queens have wanted to set foot in Gotham for some time. By setting his latest protégé on you, he's hoping to get information. I hope I don't have to mention that you're forbidden to pass on any information to him."

"Roy doesn't want any information. His father doesn't even know anything about us."

"About you?" Wayne asked and now Jason took a step back. This conversation was not going as he had hoped, and much worse than he had feared. The voice Bruce had just used had never been directed at Jason before. "There is no you, Jason. You're a Wayne. He's a Queen. If you don't end this relationship, I will."

Now it was Jason's turn to use a voice he'd never used in Bruce's presence. It was a voice full of anger born of sadness and disappointment. "If you harm a hair on his head, it won't be the Queens you have to watch out for."

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Angstober – Prompt 2: Uncertain

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As the warm water from the shower ran down his body, Jason gently ran his fingers over the scars on his skin. Most of them had no meaning, but his hand paused at the scar near his heart.

It was small and inconspicuous, but it was the freshest. He had sustained this wound three months ago, and he cherished it above all else. Everything had changed since then, and it spoke volumes that he hadn't hurt himself since. Jason had escaped his life of fighting with a bullet to his heart.

Roy had hit his mark, just as he had promised, and Jason hadn't doubted him for a second.

Sighing, Jason dried himself off and then went back to the beds. The motel room was small and unremarkable, but it was safe. There were no surveillance cameras that Wayne's eye could hack into, and it was located in the middle of nowhere.

Roy wasn't back yet, which surprised Jason, since he had taken quite a long time in the shower. Nevertheless, he used the time to get coffee for himself and Roy from the motel's small kitchen. But on his way back to the room, he didn't see Roy coming toward him, nor was Roy back yet.

Jason's eyebrows narrowed and, although he didn't want to, he became uneasy. They had been changing rooms every day for two months now. They had moved from city to city. Their routine had always worked so far, and the fact that this was no longer the case worried Jason.

Jason would have liked to call Roy, but neither of them had a phone with them. Why would they? Jason was dead and Roy was an outcast. There was no one they needed to contact.

Jason waited another ten minutes before going back outside and looking around. If he knew Roy—and he did—then he would know which direction Roy would have gone. He wouldn't have run toward the street, but would have first looked around the parking lot to see if there was a car that appealed to him.

Jason walked down the path and froze when he discovered red and, above all, fresh bloodstains on the sand-colored stone.

"Roy," he whispered, wanting to scream. In fact, his hand clenched into a fist. He knew exactly who had done this, and he wouldn't rest until he could hold Roy in his arms again.

Still, he couldn't suppress the faint voice in his head. It screamed, "This is all your fault! If Roy dies, it will be because of you."

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Angstober – Prompt 12: Do you? (alternative prompt)

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Jason had no weapons, but they would have been of little use against his two brothers. On a good day, he could beat Dick and regularly get the upper hand against Tim, but Jason couldn't defeat both of them.

A weapon would only exacerbate the situation, and he had promised Barbara at the beginning of their conversation that he would turn himself in. If he wanted her to keep her promise as well, he couldn't continue to deceive her.

He stopped the car in front of a small forest cabin. Two familiar figures came out and tried to see something through the headlights. Jason turned off the engine and got out of the car, only to see a range of emotions play across his brothers' faces when they finally recognized who was standing a few meters in front of them.

“Jason?” Tim asked in a raspy voice, sounding as if he had been crying recently. Jason's first instinct was to open his arms and comfort his little brother, as he had always done when Tim dared to show his vulnerable side. His second instinct was to lower his hands again; after all, he had forfeited his right to be considered part of this family, but Tim had already accepted the offer.

Jason didn't feel a knife in his back, but instead tears soaking through his thin shirt. Over Tim's shoulder, Jason looked at Dick, who also had tears in his eyes. Dick had always been a family man and loved hugs, but he didn't come over to them. Jason swallowed.

“Let me explain. I know you probably have a lot of questions.”

“Do you? Really?” Dick asked, but his hard gaze crumbled in the next moment and he joined the group hug.

For a moment, Jason let it happen. These were his brothers, who had always supported him. They had laughed so much together, fought enemy gangs together. They had so much in common, but that didn't change the fact that they were Waynes and Jason had hurt them. His gaze fell to Dick's hand and he noticed not only his swollen knuckles, but also blood splatters from someone else. Roy.

He stroked it almost cautiously as the embrace slowly loosened, but they still stood so close that they could feel each other's breath.

Jason's voice almost broke as he asked, “Roy… He's still alive, right?”

Dick and Tim exchanged a brief glance before they both nodded. Tim then wiped his eyes with his sleeve and tried to assume a professional demeanor.

“The fact that you're here leads to only two conclusions. First, the Queens tricked us and actually captured you to torture you for information. Since you're unharmed and they're not here to help Roy, that's probably not the case. Second…”

While Tim was unsure whether he should even say it out loud, Dick closed his eyes and took a deep breath before stating the conclusion himself. “You old romantic played Romeo and ran off with your beloved while we cried our eyes out.”

“Not more like Juliet?” Tim asked, frowning. “I mean, Romeo is the one who was banished in the play, and we certainly didn't banish Jason.”

Jason looked at his brothers in disbelief. He had spent the entire drive here pouring out his heart, worrying about Roy, and coming to terms with the fact that he was going to die. Not for a second had he thought that his brothers would start arguing about such a trivial matter, when none of them had ever picked up a Shakespeare book. Then again, they must have been listening to him when he talked about it.

“This whole thing had nothing to do with the play. I just wanted to live a happy life with Roy, and as much as I love you guys, our families wouldn't have allowed it. But it was my idea, so just let Roy go. He's been through enough.”

His brothers looked at him for several moments before Tim sighed loudly. “I'll get the first aid kit. The last thing I need is for you to stab my first partner in revenge.”

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Angstober – Prompt 7: This is your home now (alternative prompt)

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"No, I didn't hesitate," Roy answered Tim's question quietly, but it was a lie and Tim was good at spotting lies.

That night, Roy's hands hadn't wanted to stop shaking. He had been worried about missing and actually hitting Jason's heart. But Jason had only taken his trembling hands in his warm ones and placed gentle kisses on them.

Still, that hadn't stopped Roy from asking Jason to work on another plan. But they had already discussed it and there had been no turning back.

No matter how bad Roy's pain was at the Wayne's hands, it was nothing compared to watching Jason fall backwards off a roof with a red arrow in his chest. It was nothing compared to the long twenty-four hours Roy hadn't known if the plan had worked or if he was actually Jason's killer.

"I see," Tim replied coldly, turning around, "Dick we're leaving."

"What?"

Tim turned to his brother and Roy knew that Tim would win the silent exchange. Now that Tim knew that Roy had had feelings and had murdered Jason anyway, he wasn't going to let Roy get away with it. He would want to drag it out.

Dick wanted to see Roy suffer too, but he had never realized that people usually suffered more through ignorance than through the classic methods of torture. Roy would rather take the beatings than not know when the Wayne's would come back. They wouldn't untie him. They would not dress his wounds. They wouldn't give him anything to eat or drink.

Tim's long walk was cruel and probably what any killer of Jason deserved in Roy's eyes.

"Roy, I want you to take a good look around. This is your home now and we're going to make sure it's hell for you."