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i think he’s pretty 😔

I should not be Lebanon-posting on main again, but something something about both Jack AND Dean trying to be the reverse-Azazel.

Bringing the dead parent back to life, for the sake of the lonely, suffering parent left behind.

(13x03)

(13x05)

//////////

Dean gets it now. Or at least, for two whole weeks, he learned to empathize with the SHAPE of that wound.

(12x03 &14x11)

//////////

The moment, before Dean touched the pearl, Sam invokes Mary, and Dean's words about it are so interesting. "Why get their hopes up?"

Y'see, he has spent a great deal of time reacting to Mary's heartbreak re: his suicidal plan. (When she chews him out over his plan, he smiles a little, happy to be cared about, but so torn about being the cause of her unhappiness.)

and her happiness was perhaps already on his mind. (-> "Maybe if dad were here, she wouldn't be so disappointed in life, out shooting pumpkins. Maybe her having dad back is even more important than my safety.")

(14x13)

Even when Dean's own life is in danger, he is still prioritizing the comfort of others. (Fr, Jack is a bit of this mode in Byzantium, too. -> "Don't be sad.")

Lebanon is the ONE episode where Dean chooses his own selfish happiness over the happiness of others.

And in the next episode after that, Ouroboros, Dean LOSES that for similar reasons, his son (Jack) sacrifice himself so his parents can be all right (-> poisoned Cas, bludgeoned Dean, and possessed Rowena).

EDIT: I suppose Amara is a reverse Azazel too, of sorts, bringing back the parent when Azazel refused. And Chuck becomes more in line with Azazel when he coos at Dean that he’ll bring Mary back if he kills Jack. A rotten deal.

#both dean AND azazel are entities who brough john back #hello pain #one for the sake of mary #and one simply to manipulate her #more jack and dean parallels for you #the reverse azazel #azazel stuff #jack stuff #dean stuff #mary's happiness and dean's happiness #i do think sam takes forever to get to a similar place tho #he's been through so much trauma that he dissociates and focuses on personal survival (like rowena)#so it (a) takes a LOT longer for him to *thaw*#& (b) takes longer to choose dean's happiness over the mission #SEE 15x09 The Trap where he sees the root of dean's pain more clearly than ever #unfortunately for dean and jack they are shaped like this and fired that way in the kilm...#mary chooses her own happiness over her parents #in the end sam winds up in a similar place with blurry wife and suburbia #his cycle is mary's #while cas and john (and jimmy) save their children despite their mistakes... but leaving behind heavy expectations...#dean always saves his family so i think he and jack and john and cas are more in that column #whereas mary and sam live more fully in the other #but it's not exactly a hard fast rule either #more like the circumstances that forced it to happen that way #after all mary was not offered an opportunity to save her parents #and john had no path to save mary in his original run etc #i think sam would absolutely sacrifice himself for dean's happiness at certain intervals... and become the mode of RUNAWAY at others

I don't know how this is fair because the ONE year I decided to actively dress up for Halloween and do spooky stuff (aka give out candy)... It's this year, and I ended up totaling my car the day before Spooky Day.

I have the waist length purple/pink hair. The Spoopy make up. The outfit and accessories. The SHOES. And I can't move a muscle which means it's only going to feel 10 times worse tomorrow so with that in mind, I'm going to share what my costume plan was here so pretend, y'all, pretend I'm all halloweeeeeenie~

@etherealxmuses

WE WERE GOING TO LOOK SO CUTE.

#{out of sahara}#first time in 10 years i decided to dress up #and whoop bye bye plans #hello pain

What soft italicised 'oh' moment is yours?

the missed opportunity

this one comes with a pang. it is the wrinkled brow of something unpleasant sinking in. they've left to find some new adventure. or they've met someone else. and you have only just begun to understand their true importance to you. you watch them drift toward a future without you, and in that stark numbness of their absence, it hits you. Oh. oh, you want them close. you hopelessly, selfishly want them all to yourself. you'll support them no matter what, but you don't want them to want a future that doesn't involve you. you want them to read the near-invisible signs of your love and decide to take a chance on you. you never want to say that you *used* to know each other. so what are you going to do?

tagged by: @adventures-written tagging: @flutterfae-rp (whoever you want) @numericalassassin @sirens-shock @ anyone else that wants

#HELLO PAIN #OH NO

Interlocked hands

"In general, clasping the hands signifies some kind of unsettling thought—fear, anxiety, insecurity and the like.

Interlocked fingers are a way of holding one's own hands for comfort while also protecting the body."

Holding one's hands for comfort?!? 😭

#wille is the onky one with interlocked hands #so i did research #hello pain #young royals #yr s2 spoilers #i just woke up #and chose violence i know

I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you ..

#haldir #lord of the rings #tolkien elves #the two towers #helms deep #craig parker #hello pain

#1000 stars #mix sahaphap #atots #aye sarunchana #a tale of thousand stars #atotsedit #*sam.gifs #torfun #hello pain

WHY did I suddenly remember the Firefighter AU after all these years 😭 WHYYYY

#omgcp #check please #hello pain #old wounds

I should not be Lebanon-posting on main again, but something something about both Jack AND Dean trying to be the reverse-Azazel.

Bringing the dead parent back to life, for the sake of the lonely, suffering parent left behind.

(13x03)

(13x05)

//////////

Dean gets it now. Or at least, for two whole weeks, he learned to empathize with the SHAPE of that wound.

(12x03 &14x11)

//////////

The moment, before Dean touched the pearl, Sam invokes Mary, and Dean's words about it are so interesting. "Why get their hopes up?"

(14x13)

Even when Dean's own life is in danger, he is still prioritizing the comfort of others. (Fr, Jack is a bit of this mode in Byzantium, too. -> "Don't be sad.")

Lebanon is the ONE episode where Dean chooses his own selfish happiness over the happiness of others.

#hello pain

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