give me the yearning. give me the "i just want them to be happy, it's fine". give me the writing love letters and reading them in private before throwing them away. give me the "if they look at me today, that's enough for me". give me the daydreams about holding hands and touching shoulders and making them laugh. give me the "don't TOUCH them" and "I wouldn't let ANYTHING happen to YOU". give me the "i just want to be by your side and love you even if you don't feel the same, doesn't need to work out that way". give me the silent smiles of admiration when they aren't looking. give me laughing too hard at their joke and blushing because it's too much. give me the kicking your feet, gluing hearts to your sketchbook. give me being the butt of their joke but loving it because it's still attention. give me being breathless because their laugh. give me refusing to throw away a gift or item from them, because even though it's trash it's important. and most importantly give me all of this without the expectation of anything in return. give me. GIVE ME NOW.