Feb 18
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He really wasn't dangerous then
Text: @anchorsfm (levi)
Sloane: Hiiiiiii !
Sloane: Are you Levi? I really hope you're Levi
Sloane: oh! sorry!!! my name is Sloane :)
Sloane: Billy keeps doling out my number/chatting me up to strangers but i hear you're henry's baby bro and new in town! welcome, welcome :)
boo❤️🩹
AAAHHHH!!!!! dude! can't just come into my askbox and scare me like this... hoh boy...
Gunshot (DSAF Fanfic)
(Disclaimer: I’ve not been doing great lately with keeping up with my fics, and I’m sorry this has taken so long because of that. There will hopefully be a mass upload soon.
Also, I’m not a doctor so I don’t know exactly how this stuff works bare with me. I’m just a weirdo who likes DSAF, creative writing, and the occasional nice spot of gore. I did look at an article on first aid for this particular type of wound to keep it somewhat accurate, but it may be a little off. Feel free to murder me in the comments for my medical malpractice.)
It was a relatively normal day at the Fazbender’s pizzeria, although it didn’t feel that way. All day it had felt like something was off, like something bad was going to happen.
Everyone had felt it, even Matt seemed slightly uncomfortable, his smile less pronounced than usual. Which honestly was an improvement but it was still creepy.
Jack and Dave had spent most of the day hiding in the Saferoom playing Uno.
Of course phoney comes in to yell at them from time to time, but they just ignore him.
The two men were enjoying this day despite the sinister aura, of course they were, they were in the Saferoom which had a very particular lack of Matt.
Eventually the fun had to come to an end however, when Dave did something that he never could have known was anything but harmless; he complained about being hungry.
Jack had brought food today (that had been the deal, he brought food, Dave brought Uno), but they had long since run out.
Initially Jack ignored Dave’s complaints as they didn’t have to wait much longer until their job was over and they could go home, but he wouldn’t stop.
Eventually Jack accepted defeat and ordered a pizza (yes they were in a pizzeria, but even with both of them being nigh unkillable zombies they weren’t willing to risk consumption of the toxic waste Freddy’s tried to pass off as pizza.)
“When is it gonna get here! I’m dying!” Dave whines, “You’re looking more appetizing by the minute. If it’s not here soon we’re finally going to find out if you’re an orange or a tangerine.”
“Relax Aubergine, it’ll be here in 5 minutes, company guarantee. Also if you try it I’ll tase you.”
“I’ll eat your taser. I’ve done it before.”
“Pah! Empty threats I’d tase you till you fucking exploded.” Jack says, taking out the taser in question and activating it as a sort of threat.
Dave was unperturbed, simply snatching the taser, and with a smug face, swallowing it whole, the object making for a strange outline travelling down his giraffe-like neck.
Jack’s face was one of fear, astonishment, slight arousal and annoyance.
“We were talking for about 5 minutes Sportsy, better go get that pizza~” Dave says, with a wide smile across his purple face.
Jack just sits there for a moment, staring blankly, Dave acting as if he didn’t eat a taser. Eventually he silently stands up and basically runs out of the room.
Dave lays back in his place (he had brought a pillow in, stolen from Jack’s house of course, so he wouldn’t have to lay on the filthy floor.)
A few minutes later he hears a gunshot.
Dave just rolls his eyes, he doesn’t care if someone got shot.
He does however care that 12 minutes later his Sportsy isn’t back.
Suspecting that Jack had been caught by Phoney or abandoned him Dave stands up and for the first time that day, leaves the room.
It doesn’t take long to find Jack.
The orange man is laying in a pool of his own blood with a clear bullet wound visible on his chest staining his uniform a horrible crimson, the wall behind him has an indent in it for where the bullet impacted, seemingly having gone the whole way through. Fortunately the wound is on the right side so it didn’t hit Jack’s heart. Unfortunately it seems to have fully punctured his right lung as Jack now lays on the ground breathing shallow, and his frantic movements slowing.
He’s alive. Barely. And whoever did this got away.
Dave rushes to Jack’s side and grabs his shoulders. “HOLY FUCK OLD SPORT ARE YOU OK?!?”
Jack looks like he wants to say something but can’t. Probably because he’s now drowning in his own blood and that makes talking slightly difficult.
Dave has absolutely not dealt with something like this before. Sure he’s been shot, he recalls dying that way once, although he could be wrong because he was pretty high at the time he thinks it may have happened.
However being shot doesn’t exactly teach one what to do when someone else is shot. Especially when you either died from it and used borderline magic to shake it off, or happened to have a surgeon father figure who unfortunately for this situation never explained how to do any of this. Well Dave wasn’t exactly sure Henry was a surgeon, but he did say he was a doctor and had spoken about doing them before.
Although Dave mostly saw him as one because of a strangely vivid dream he had of waking up on an operation table with his chest open, his heart in Henry’s hand and when he panicked Henry injecting him with something that ended the dream.
Back to the matter at hand, Dave had absolutely no idea how to help Jack at all. Although at the very least he knew he couldn’t help him here and thus decided to pick up a barely conscious Jack and carry him back to the Saferoom.
Dave propped Jack up on the pillow he had brought.
Fortunately sitting up was exactly what Jack needed because now that he was no longer on his back he could let the blood escape his mouth.
The tangerine broke into a violent coughing fit as Dave watched in horror, and then, as if he had done it before, he shakily reached up to his mouth and shoved his fingers to the back of it, activating his gag reflex and prompting him to puke up massive amounts of blood on the floor.
“S-sport…” Dave manages to stutter out, most definitely not having expected Jack to do that.
“I’m pretty much immortal so I should be able to survive this.-“ Jack says between heavy coughing. There’s a strange hissing sound coming from his bullet wound. “Without treatment probably. I’ll… I’ll still probably need you to… help… so I don’t die now.” Jack’s voice is fading as he collapses on his side, breathing heavily.
Dave sits him back up again and Jack immediately repeats the same process as earlier, puking up the blood filling his lungs.
“How can I help ya?” Dave says, uncomfortable with seeing Jack in such a pathetic condition.
“…cover… holes…” Jack manages to choke out, visibly getting weaker.
Dave stands up, scanning around the room for something to cover up the bullet wounds with.
His eyes land on a roll of duck tape. He snatches the tape off the table and presents it to Jack. “Will this do Old Sport?”
“…yeah… just… shirt… off…” Jack seems to be fading faster by the minute. Jack is ALMOST immortal, but not quite. He’s still quite killable but can survive more. If Dave doesn’t act soon he’ll really be gone. Dave isn’t sure what he’d do in a world devoid of Sportsy, they’d been together so long that having him die on him… no it’s best not to think about the worst case scenario. Jack WILL survive.
Dave strips off Jack’s shirt, noticing the blood around the wound foaming. He wipes it aside with his sleeve then starts to apply the duck tape over the bullet wounds, adding probably far more tape than he needed.
Jack hacks up a little more blood and then lays back, breathing deeply.
“That was a fucking close one.” Dave comments.
“I’ll say.” Jack says flatly, still recovering. “Is this my pillow that went missing?”
“…no.”
“Sure it’s not. Stop breaking into my house.
“I don’t want to~” Dave purrs. “The fuck happened anyway how did you get shot?”
“It was the Candy the cat fucker. He broke in again and I didn’t have my taser on me because SOMEONE ate it, so I couldn’t stop him. He shot me, and then bolted. I don’t think he realized the gravity of what he was doing until then.”
“Sorry Sportsy…”
“For what? You just saved my miserable life. Ok maybe I don’t like the fact that I’m alive upon further consideration but I doubt I’d prefer being dead.”
“If I hadn’t eaten your taser none of this would have happened.”
“Yeah well it was honestly pretty funny and it’s more of a mild inconvenience once the bullet wounds are covered.” Jack shrugs, before wincing in pain.
“Still…”
“I promise you I’m not mad. You’re forgiven. You just need to buy me a new taser.”
“Well if you’re happy I’m happy. You still haven’t gotten me food. I’m not a patient man, Old Sport.”
“I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to…”
“Good then we can pick up some MacDongalds on the drive to your apartment.”
“…I take it that that’s your special way of inviting yourself to my home again?”
“Oh absolutely. I’ll never give up an opportunity to go home with my Old Sport, plus, you clearly can’t drive right now, and my home situation is… not one. I got evicted last week because all Fazbender’s pays is tokens and you shockingly can’t pay your rent in tokens.”
“Sure you can if you get a good landlord.”
“…Say Sportsy does that apartment building of yours have any places for sale?”
“Nope, looks like your stuck in the dumpsters Aubergine man.”
“):”
“Oh don’t be like that…”
“))))):”
“Fine you can stay in my apartment until you can get your own.”
“:D”
.
.
.
The two didn’t talk much on the drive to Jack’s apartment. They didn’t need to. Jack was resting, still shirtless, which Dave definitely didn’t mind- wait no, gay thoughts bad. Not right now. They both knew Dave wouldn’t need any directions to get to the apartment.
They stopped at McChungis where Jack ordered nothing but a small burger smothered in horseradish, and Dave ordered a truly unholy amount of fries and milkshakes. (McDangDangDanglds accepts fazcoin!)
Once they reached the apartment building and parked, Dave helped Jack limp up to the elevator, where they terrified a young woman with a child with both their mannerisms and Jack’s bullet wound.
They eventually get to Jack’s floor and find his room after some trial and error (Jack didn’t remember his room because it was a somewhat new place, he was running on adrenaline, and he was tired. Fortunately but creepily, Dave did.)
Once they get into the apartment, Jack sits down.
“So, what should we do now Spo-“ Dave is interrupted by the sound of Jack loudly snoring, now curled up on the couch.
Dave picks Jack up bridal style and brings him to his room, laying him down gently.
Just as he’s about to walk away Jack pulls him back instinctively. Dave decides he’s tired anyway and he’s always up for anything that puts him closer to Jack, so he lays down beside him.
“I love you.” Dave mutters under his breath before falling asleep.
“I love you too…” Jack replies, it’s hard to say if he were awake or not.
(Note: Again, sincere apologies for this taking 100 years to make, please do give Reqs I’m just slow but I will get to them.
Well anyway I hope you enjoyed your Ouija brand Davesport with a side or bullet wounds!)
So you two were boyfriends then?
.. Yes, I believe that's the humans way of referring to your squintz. He was my first squintz.
Yes, thinking of our past relationship does bring a bit of color to my cheeks still, however it's not for the reason you may first think. I don't harbor any feelings for Henry anymore.. I have squintz for someone new, which is dangerous. Having one squintz alone is defective enough... Now two?... But- that's a risk I would take for my squintz.
When I think back to Henry... It's not leftover feelings.. It's simply- embarrassment...
Charlotte Emily :p
This is my AU! Charlie, she's mature, cool, and a lesbian.
bonus doodle
Good ending
Somewhere off-screen, William told Charlie that he had known her father since childhood, and in general, they had a very nice chat on the trip from school to home.
Michael is very interested in the book about frogs, but tries his best not to show it.
Charlie and Lisa had a very cool pajama party tonight <3