#heroinrausch

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“I don‘t want this. But I want it so badly.“

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heroin, she‘s a tricky one…

she will see your pain and beg you for one chance to make it better. you hesitate. thinking it‘s impossible for anything to be powerful enough to quiet the world within you. but when that powder hits your veins, it sucks you in like a vacuum. “i told you“, she smirks. “just one more high and one more after that. you need me!“, she says. “your soul is in too much pain and this one little shot will make it all go away.“ she grips you like shackles in the cement. there‘s no place to go. she promises to take care of you and maybe you believe her. so you put your life in her hands and tell her to keep you safe.

heroin, she‘s a powerful devil.

you think she just dabs a bad out of your life, like bleach on a spoiled white t-shirt, but soon you feel nothing. nothing at all. not the good, not the bad. you sleep through the sunrises and you‘re still sleeping when the sun sets. you miss life. you miss living. so you try. you try to fight her off just for a day or maybe just for one hour. but your bones ache; your body sweats; your soul screams: “why is it so cold without her?!“ you would take back your initial pain any day; the one that you were so quick to numb. that pain seems so minuscule now that you‘re face to face with the demon she‘s created. because while she was numbing your pain, she wasn‘t stopping it or even slowing it down. she was the wax on a slide, throwing you to the bottom that much faster. with her your pain only grew. intensifying and forcing itself to be noticed until her high couldn‘t possibly quiet it anymore. and what does that say? when the pain you‘re fighting overpowers the high of heroin?! she lied to you. she has since the beginning. she cannot quit your pain, she only makes it grow like a fertilizer. she will not take care of you. she will still everything you once were and try her hardest to never let you go. some of us never escape her; some of us barely do.

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all i wish is that my mum gets to experience a sober, healthy & happy me

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Christiane F. beim Anschaffen, „Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo“ die Serie

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Jana McKinnon als Chrstiane F. in der Amazon Prime Serie „Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo“

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Christiane, Axel, Michi, Babsi, Stella, Benno - „Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo“, Der letzte Druck

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Christiane und Benno, „Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo“ die Serie