Second attempt, and I'm really happy! It'll never be perfect but this is good for me and I think it's a look for Shepard that I like. 🖤
I decided to forego full base makeup this time, opting only for concealer and some contouring to make my face less... squishy looking.
Blocking out the tail of my natural brows was definitely a good idea, as I was able to angle them upward more and achieve a look that I would like to describe as stubborn and badass.
Did I forget to take photos or videos of the process so far? Yes, I did. Don't be like me. This has consisted of a lot of trial and error (and contact cement on my hands) but it's been fun! I still need to sand/seal and more, but it's starting to come together!
I don't have any cosplay updates rn, because life has been kicking me in the arse over and over. I've needed time to breathe and decompress, which has been hard given that I've been up to my eyeballs with hospital visits and such.
I've been spending a lot of time playing video games, because those are my biggest source of escapism and comfort. Baldur's Gate 3 has been a life saver over the last two months. If you've been adventuring in Faerûn lately, how have you found it? Show me your characters!
I mentioned in a previous post that I am a cosplayer with health conditions, and in this post I’m going to talk about them a little bit! Now, you may have noticed that I said ‘them’, and that’s because I have collected quite a few of them over the years and here they are:
🖤 TYPE 1 DIABETES 🖤
The pancreas stops producing the hormone insulin, and as such to keep blood glucose levels from rising and causing a fatal complication known as Diabetic Ketoacidosis, T1 Diabetics must take insulin every single day to stay alive.
The basics of this disease, is that food does not pass through my stomach at the speed it should. It goes a lot slower, and this causes a multitude of often debilitating symptoms, including: intense bloating, not being able to eat enough food resulting in deficiencies and malnutrition, extreme stomach pain, constant nausea, vomiting a lot (sometimes undigested food), constipation/diarrhoea, reflux, and more.
🖤 SINUS TACHYCARDIA/POTS 🖤
Sinus tachycardia is a regular cardiac rhythm in which the heart beats faster than normal. The PoTS is suspected due to experiencing black outs (which once resulted in two broken ribs), extreme dizziness, blurred vision, chest pain, shortness of breath and changes in blood pressure.
🖤 AUTONOMIC NEUROPATHY 🖤
Autonomic neuropathy occurs when there is damage to the nerves that control automatic body functions - the things we don’t think about every day, that happen automatically. It can affect blood pressure, temperature control, digestion, bladder function and even sexual function.
This is the last and most serious stage of Diabetic Retinopathy. In the first two stages, the changes are reversible. In stage 3 new blood vessels and scar tissue have formed on your retina, which can cause significant bleeding (you can see the bleeds in your vision, which is distressing and causes impairment), and lead to retinal detachment, where the retina pulls away from the back of the eye. At this stage, there's a very high risk of blindness.
HEALTH PROBLEMS & COSPLAY
As you may have guessed, this is a lot! It’s a lot to deal with, I’m in pain all the time, and it makes me quite grumpy sometimes too.
My ongoing health struggles did play a part in the break I took from cosplaying, but that break turned into almost 9 years. It wound up that way because I convinced myself that I had to wait until I felt better to start again so that I could wholly dedicate myself to it. That was not a good mindset for me because I was still dealing with some denial over my health, despite knowing deep down that I would never "get better" in the way that I wanted to. My conditions are chronic. They're never going away.
I've come a long way in the 8 and a bit years since my last cosplay, though, and I'm not in denial anymore about my wellness. I take my medications, and I go to check-ups; I do the things that I need to do to make my life easier and ultimately, keep me alive. I know that sounds like a bare minimum, but it's not always that easy when your head is in a gnarly space, like mine was.
Alongside the.. peronal overhaul, I've employed a lot of new strategies in my day-to-day life that allow me to be myself and do the thing that I love, because I really do love cosplaying! By pacing myself, resting when I need to and not telling myself that needing it is failing, I'm kinder to myself - this kindness in place of self-deprecation for not being fast enough or as quick as another cosplayer has been the biggest turning point. I stopped comparing myself to people that didn't have to face what I do; I took a step back and took time to come to terms with the fact that I am different, and as such, I need to look at and do things differently, to suit my lifestyle and the things I have to content with. That took a lot of courage to do, despite it being a very introspective process, because facing yourself like that is hard. In my own mind, my differences made me lesser for many years, and it took actively challenging that perception within myself to realise that I was making my life harder, and denying myself happiness and fulfilment because of it.
Nowadays, I congratulate myself on progress because I am worth praise and worth happiness; I no longer view asking for help as a weakness or a failure, and I don't compare my progress to that of others. I acknowledge and accept that my conditions and disability exist, do not make me lesser, and require alternative means of doing things. Needing these accommodations and adaptations doesn't make me less as a person, or less worthy of love, happiness, praise and fulfilment than anyone else, not only in cosplay but life in general.
Hi, friends. I just want to let you know that yesterday morning, something went awry in my left eye, and at the moment, I am functionally blind in said eye.
I went to the hospital and am waiting for urgent treatment. Fingers crossed it will work, but if not, then I may need surgery to restore the sight in my eye.
As you may expect, this update took me a long time to write, and I won't be able to work on my Shep cosplay for a while until my sight has improved.
The silver lining here though, is that I have to use an eye patch to help my right eye do all the work, and idk... I think I can pull it off.
Today is a hospital visit day! And so is the 28th of February and the 1st of March! And the 7th and 10th of March! Phew.
I may go into more details about my health one day, as it may be encouraging to others that want to do cosplay but have health conditions/disabilities, or just because it’s a fairly large part of my life and does factor into working on cosplays and such. We’ll see!
I’m okay, in case anyone worries. It’s part and parcel of the conditions I have that I spend a fair amount of time at/in hospitals, but I just wanted to make it known that over the next week or so, cosplay updates may be less frequent. That’s all! 🖤
