#highschoolisawkward

[bangringyring]

Because Luke said he'd design a house with me...

I want to know what my house would look like with all my friends. I really want to see how we would design our house together and how our styles would fit or clash.

And maybe see how SUP would design a house together, all our contrasting personalities. Though maybe that's what we have Sims for. :P

[bangringyring]

Best Friends Means...

One time, my high school orchestra teacher told us, "Once you graduate you won't talk to any of the people you knew in high school." Most of the orchestra immediately protested, saying that of course we would, we're friends. Our teacher amended her statement, saying something about Facebook. But. You could see it in her eyes. She knew she was right. I wasn't one of those who voiced my opposition, but I was sure that I would stay friends with all the people that I was in that moment.

Today, halfway through my freshman year of college, I am willing to admit that, with a few exceptions, she was correct. And that hurts me more than I can accurately assert. I've had a lot of friends over the past years, some proved not to be worth it and others, those few exceptions, have proved that it pays to stick with it. What hurts the most is that my oldest friends, or those who I once was closest with, are the ones who are actually gone at this moment.

I might not have the best judgement, or maybe they were really good at being deceptive, but I really thought that we'd be great friends. In sixth grade we signed papers saying we'd be friends till death. Or if we moved away. So I guess, technically, our deal is void. And in sophomore year, we said we'd go to Europe and go husband hunting for guys with cute accents. Junior year we thought of going to college together and we texted constantly. Senior year we stopped talking almost totally. Now it's freshman year again and I haven't seen any of you or talked to any of you in months.

I've made new friends. And I don't know them as well as I knew you, and they don't trust me as much as you trusted me. They like me though, and we're getting closer. They text me, they Skype me, they go to dinner with me almost every day. We have sleepovers maybe once a month, they know that I don't study, that I'm happy here, that I love the snow in the air, not on the ground. They like that I knit, they play card games with me, think it's funny when I act weird. They don't question most of the things I do. They make fun of the way I do things, they call me a loser and I love it. I'm starting to love them.

I miss you guys a lot. A lot a lot. But. I don't miss how it made me feel when you didn't text, or when you hung out with our friends without me. I miss how much fun we used to have together, but I'm getting over it because it feels like you don't care anymore. But now I have people that do care. And I have those few, great, amazing, fabulous, funny, sweet, smart, awesome exceptions. I wouldn't trade my new friends or those exceptions for you guys again, because they haven't hurt me and I don't think they will.

So yes, Mrs. Jackson is correct, you probably aren't going to be friends with the people you are/were friends with in high school. But if you look hard enough and try hard enough, you can find the exceptions and the new friends that make it all worth it.

[bangringyring]

Oh Hey There

I haven't done a real post in a long while. So I'll talk to you all about Chicago.

It's a helluva town. Me and the band went there today and it was fun and amazing. I really enjoy these people and the places we go.

Today was our first gig, even though we were two members short. Kayley just got back from vacay and Joey was being a butt so he didn't want to come. But still, it was an amazing gig and we were cool. Everyone was so jealous of us. Amirightguis?

And then we went to The Art Institute and this time, everyone enjoyed it and wanted to stay for a long while. It was good. Julianne and I dragged Zach through all the Miniature Rooms and we looked at all of their Satanic books and rituals and death ledgers. It was nice. And then we went upstairs and looked at a lot of different paintings. Julianne and I don't get modern art or hipster triangles. It just doesn't work in our minds.

And then we saw Seurat's "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" which is the real and full title, Art Institute, just 'cause you don't want to put it on the panel or whatever doesn't mean I'm wrong. So yeah. But it was pretty, and the second time I've seen it in two months, which was really nice as well. And we got to see Georgia O'Keefe's "Clouds" painting and I must say that it is one of my favorites next to anything by Monet, 'cause I love that man's art.

Then Zach doubted my statement of "American Gothic" being in the museum. He asked ChaCha and needless to say I was right. So we went to go see it. And "Nighthawks". They were super exciting.

And the modern wing. It was okay, but like I said I just don't get it. But there were some architecture things that I simply adored 'cause I'm a sucker for that kind of thing. The fire escape cube thing, I loved it. And then the drawer stack. I dunno why but I seriously love architecture and design, though I could never get into it as a designer and whatnot.

There was some other stuff, but honestly it didn't stick though it was all very beautiful. Art is just something that you need to take forever to enjoy, and no one has forever to just sit and stare at a painting on the wall. Though some days I wish that was all everyone did. It would be a really nice break from life. The paintings, when I sat there and looked at them, it was something else. They're moving in a strange way, and it's not just one style, it's art in general. Though modern art might not work for me, and maybe that's why they don't have benches in some of those rooms...

But yeah, that's art. Then we all went to Millennium Park and, of course, went to the Bean. And then walked around in the fountain thing. Then it was off to Hipsterland! Which is actually just the Urban Outfitters on State Street. We looked at the books and took pictures and kinda looked at the clothes. It was interesting and the clothes were kinda cute I must admit. But then we went back to the station. And got on the train. And then rode home.

And Julianne's mom drove us all home and it was nice. And it was a good day.

I enjoy these people more than I think I should because I'm leaving, but we talked about college today and how some of us have similar breaks so we'll still get to hang out. And there's still the rest of the summer. So for now I'll try to just relax and not freak out about being alone and such.

All in all, awesome times with the band.

[bangringyring]

I'm Kinda Getting Sick of Thinking About These People

Not my "band". I don't think I could ever get sick of thinking about them. They're just all super amazing people. So I think that I'm going to tell them all why I like them. Right here, right now. Even if they don't read this.

ALPHABETICAL!!

Joey

Oh Joey. There's so much that I could say about him but I think I'll keep it short. He's super funny, nice, creative, talkative, and just all around awesome. I've gotten really close with him this year and I'm so excited that it happened. He's got to be one of the funniest people I know and it's amazing. He can always make ANYONE laugh, not just me which is pretty damn awesome. And really, he's a great person and I just really like him.

Julianne

I just met Julianne this school year and I'm really super glad. She's an amazing girl and just like with Kayley I'm jealous of her commitment/passion. She also is extremely talented on the stage and really loves it. Her passion for acting and singing and such is super good. I'm glad that I got to know her because she's really interesting, smart, and fun to hang out with. Plus she's great at captioning pictures. ;D

Kayley

Kayley is just a super amazing person. She's pretty, sweet, nice, funny, interesting, and not just another face in the crowd. She's different and I really like that about her. She also cares a whole whole lot. And not just about herself or her really close friends. She cares about everyone and it's amazing. I wish that I could be more like her a lot of the time. And I also love how committed she is, to her friends, family, and her faith.

Zach

So I've known Zach since junior high. (Same with Kayley.) And I really didn't get to know him all that well until this year. And he is super funny, interesting, smart, and talented. He makes some really awesome jokes, knows the words to almost every Ke$ha and Lady Gaga song, I think, and is just all around amazing. He also decided that we should get together and form this band. And yeah, I'm jealous of his interesting hobbies and life. He's a really cool kid and I like it.

So those are my bandmates, and that is not the most accurate description of why I like them. Yes, it's all true, but I can't really put it into words about why I like them all. It's just. We all mesh really well and I really appreciate them and everything. And I hung out with three of the four tonight and I felt like telling them how much I loved them.

And I'm getting tired of thinking about Alex, Matt, Jessica and the like. Those three being the most prominent in my mind, though.

But yeah. I am really happy tonight because it was a really good time.

LOL I DON'T KNOW MY ALPHABET

[thatrainwater]

FormSpring #11

Let me first say how happy all of these make me. I am so glad you guys are involved and further our relation(cyber)ships. Keep them coming. No question is too dumb and no topic is off limits.

http://www.formspring.com/forms/?770740-ouunQZJoPo

Question: "I think you're right that being anonymous makes people brave and it's great you've decided to do this. What inspires you?"

Answer: Hmmm. Very good question. Inspiration.

1. Dylan inspires me to be a better story writer and film maker.

2. Anna inspires me to be a better person, be kind and find an original art project to actually stick with.

3. Dan, Ryan, Tom and my bible study guys inspire me to stay spiritually strong.

4. Paul Thomas Anderson and Quentin Tarantino inspire me to be one with my camera and know exactly how I want it to movie and what I want to say with it (specifically long shots).

5. The blogs I follow inspire me to stay involved in the blogosphere and at least try to keep up with the ever growing world of musik - AM, B&B, PMA, PSST

6. My dad inspires me to play jazz on a daily basis.

7. DJ Shadow's "Endtroducing..." album inspires me to stick with the turntables.

8. Literally everything that is different from my normal routine inspires me to have an open mind. Take Neo-Soul for instance: I never, ever listen to Neo-Soul, but I think it's super influential in beat poets' careers and should be appreciated for what it is.

9. YOU! You inspire me to keep posting on Tumblr. I'll even give you a little treat. Back in high school we made some pretty awful lip sync videos. I mean, these are bad and make no sense.

Oh high school.