Told HT something that happened last night - well, it happened other times too but it's like something has lifted and I'm realising it more? And I hoped by telling HT the internal pressure would get a little less. Which kinda worked and HT reacted well. But now the panic and chaos is just growing and I WANT A (and actual therapy) and now I'm scared to go to bed and aauugghjhhhhh not having a good time, not a good time











