From Beginning to End: Chapter 1
Synopsis: When you meet Aaron Hotchner in high school you don’t expect him to be the love of your life. You certainly don’t expect him to give you the courage to leave a toxic family behind for a teenage marriage and a life so wonderful that you never could have imagined it.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader
Warnings: toxic family, domestic abuse, mental abuse. Nothing too graphic but it’s there.
Big shout out to my beta readers who gave me feedback and let me bounce ideas off of them @hotchinkevlar and @lostinwonderland314
“You’ve ruined your lives! That’s what you’ve done!”
You wince. You’ve never been good with men yelling. It makes you nervous and scared. And sometimes it makes you cry. And Aaron, God bless him, knows this. So when you bury your face in his back, and dig your fingers into his tee-shirt, his hand comes back to rest on your hip. It’s a reassurance that his father isn’t going to touch you.
Words from two years ago, when he had first been sent to St. Annes rings in your head. “I was finally big enough to stand up to him. So I did. I got to him before he got to my mom. He was drunk so it only took one punch, and he went down, and now I’m in boarding school.”
Aaron’s voice is firm, “We aren’t asking for permission. We’re eighteen. We’re out of highschool, and we’ve already done it.”
“Is the whore pregnant? Is it even yours?”
You go stiff. And this time Aaron’s voice is chilling, “She isn’t pregnant. And if she was, I wouldn’t let you near her or our child.”
“So you’re just throwing your life away for a bit of pussy?”
“I married her because I love her!”
“Well, you’re not getting a cent from me.”
“I don’t want anything from you.” His hand finds yours, and he gently tugs you to his side. “We’re going sweetheart. It’s okay.”
You barely make it a step before you hear a roar of rage. Aaron pushes you out of the way just as his father barrels into him. You watch, nearly sick to your stomach as his father gets in one good hit before Aaron turns the tables. It doesn’t take long before he has the man on the ground, and is laying into him.
Some part of you expects him to keep going, but instead, the moment he’s down Aaron is back on his feet. He gives his father a disgusted look, and walks back to you. There’s bruising around his eye. You reach up and gently brush your fingers over it, before he pulls you to him. He whispers his apologies like a prayer; like he’s terrified that you’re going to leave him. You’re not.
Aaron isn’t his father. You’ve known that for years. He never starts fights, but he can finish them. He’s smart as a whip. And you’ve watched time and time again as he’s helped the under dog. You kiss him, and you put reassurance into it. You’re in it for the long haul. You love him. When you said “I do,” and had taken your marriage vows you had meant every word. Even with the odds stacked against you.
He leads you out of his parents’ house. And you each grab a bag of the things you’d come to retrieve. You pass by his younger brother. You expect to see fear on his face, but there is none. He and Aaron stare at each other for a moment before Aaron heads out of the house and you follow.
You load the things into your already stuffed car, and your belly flips. You climb into the passenger seat while Aaron takes the wheel. You’re nauseated. You look over at your husband, and that is such a weird thing to call him, because you are only eighteen. But that doesn’t change the fact that Aaron Hotchner is your husband and you’re his wife.
He had transferred in during your sophomore year. He’d been angry at the world and your lab partner. He’d also been smart as a whip. You’d quickly learned that he had no interest in making friends and even if he had you doubted he’d want to be friends with you. Very few people seemed to want that.
You were a nerd. A rich nerd. But a nerd nonetheless. You spent your time reading, and writing, and drawing and avoiding fake people who only seemed to want you for what you could do for them. You had complained about that to your mother once who had simply rolled her eyes and said that was how the world worked. Your father’s response had been even harsher. He had told you that you only had yourself to rely on and to get used to it now.
So, you had kept to yourself. It was safer that way. The chance of you being used or getting hurt was significantly less. You stayed on the fringes and you listened as people talked around you as though you weren’t there. You knew some of the best kept secrets in the entire school, but you never told anyone. You didn’t have anyone to tell. And then there were the not so well kept secrets. Like Aaron Hotchner was hot. Bad boy hot. Rumors had built up in the two months he’d been at your school.
St. Annes was the top boarding school in the United States. You had to know people to get in. And while Aaron’s father was a successful lawyer he wasn’t that well connected. And the reason on why he’d been sent to the school varied from him having killed someone to throwing a huge party and trashing his parents’ house.
Girls flirted with him like crazy. He always stiffly but kindly rebuffed them. He never accepted invitations to parties. But people just seemed to gravitate towards him. And during group projects he became the natural leader. Quickly his reputation changed from bad boy to the must have boy. Especially when he made the baseball team. And while he may have become a little more open, and allowed himself to socialize he still spent a lot of time alone. You saw him in the library a lot. You were just grateful that you got more than grunts in Science class.
The two of you connected, when the class listings came out. The two of you were tied in several areas where you had been the stand alone winner before. You knew that wasn’t going to go over well at home. You had been trained to be the best. Your siblings had all been the best, and you were expected to be the best too.
Your father paid you a special visit. He spent three hours yelling at you in the dorm on how you had failed, how you were a disgrace, how he expected better of you. You were in tears by the time he left, and you had strict instructions to stay at school for the summer and study. The girls in your dorm had peered in and whispered to each other. You had caught snippets, and when you couldn’t take anymore, you had run.
You had gone to your safe place: the library. The librarian was, Mrs. Jones was one of the few people who were kind to you. But you didn’t stop to say hi. Instead, you vanished into the stacks. You went to the sections where no one went and you curled in on yourself.
You must have stayed that way for at least an hour before someone settled down beside you. You’d still been crying, your eyes red and your face was splotchy. And there was your science partner; the one person who had managed to tie with you. There was a look of concern on his face.
And you knew what was coming the moment he opened his mouth, “Don’t.” Your voice was rough from the crying, “It’s not your fault.”
“It’s a little bit my fault. I could hear him yelling from outside your dorm.”
You screw your eyes closed. Of course the bastard had attracted a crowd. “You worked hard for your grades. It’s my fault. I didn’t study hard enough.”
Aaron had snorted at that, “You study more than anyone I know. He’s a jerk. A bully. And he’s wrong. You’re going to do something really awesome with your life. You know that, right?”
“Do I?”
He nodded, “Just like I’m going to prove my own bastard father wrong and become a better lawyer than him.” You saw it then. The understanding. The knowledge of what a sucky home life could do.
You lean back and stare at him for a moment, “A lawyer? That makes sense.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You’re stubborn enough for it. And cool under pressure. You’d be good at that.”
Aaron had started showing up more after that much to your confusion. He would sit with you in the library. He’d talk to you more in science class too. He’d ask you about your day and other things. It was nice and also suspicious.
You finally confronted him in the library, “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you keep hanging around me. You were very nice after my father showed up, but I don’t need pity.”
He had stared at you in amusement. “It’s not pity. It’s just nice to be around someone who understands. You know, friends?”
“Friends?”
He smiled, the first smile you’d ever seen on him. It had made butterflies fill your belly.
He had started hanging around you more after that. He’d walk with you in the halls, sit by you in other shared classes, and study with you in the library.
Of course some people didn’t like that Aaron had taken an interest in you. You’d been backed into a corner when Aaron had come to your rescue. He hadn’t started anything physical. He had, however, called them out for their behavior. And then he’d pulled you away.
He’d taken you to the library to the place he’d found you after your father’s impromptu visit. The two of you stayed there for a few minutes before you said, “I’m weak.”
“You’re wrong. Your father, if you can call him that, is a mentally abusive asshole. He’s beaten you down, and made you doubt your self worth. You’re brilliant and you’re beautiful and those girls are jealous harpies.”
“That doesn’t change how I feel. And just because we have similar dads, doesn't mean you should be sticking your neck out for me. I’m not the only one with powerful parents around her. You could make a lot of contacts that could get you in with some amazing law firms when you graduate and . . .”
“I want to go into prosecution, and I’ll get there on my own merit.” He had taken a deep breath, “And you’re not weak. Weak . . . is letting your sperm donor beat your mother because you’re too scared to stop it. Until you think he might actually kill her and finally step in.”
Your eyes had gone wide, and without thinking you had taken his hand. You had expected him to pull back, instead he had gripped your hand and smiled. “You’re kind, and you’re smart, and you’re genuine. And those are things most people aren’t.”
It takes you a moment, “We’re not them Aaron.”
He squeezes your hand, “And we won’t ever be.”
After that, you and Aaron spent a lot more time together. Eventually, the two of you became inseparable. Aaron was still the big man on campus, and you were able to make a few friends of your own. It was nice. And things only got better the night Aaron had kissed you for the first time.
It was summer which meant no classes. It also meant that you and Aaron spent a large amount of time watching movies in your room. The two of you had ended up falling asleep and somehow you had ended up curled up together. You had awoken to his hand running up and down your back and him watching you.
You had seen it then. Love. Care. A good man. And a surge of bravery had taken over you. You had stretched your neck and he had met you halfway. The kiss had been tentative at first and then flames had flooded your body.
Your bodies had pressed against each other, until you had pulled him on top of you, his body had blanketed yours, and instead of terrifying you, it was reassuring. His lips had moved against yours, smoothe and persistent. Then he had nipped your bottom lip, and soothed the sting with his tongue.
And when he had pulled back, both of you out of breath, you had reached forward and cupped his face. And the terror had flooded you. Aaron hadn’t dated since coming to St. Annes. He hadn’t had any hookups. In the time of your friendship, you had realized that wasn’t him.
He leaned down and kissed you again, and then pressed a kiss to your cheek. And then he whispered in your ear, “Just you and me against the world. I promise.” And Aaron always kept his promises.
Over the next two years you and Aaron moved from a teenage relationship into what you were certain was meant to be. You weren’t a romantic. And you and Aaron both tended to be realists, but when it came to your relationship the two of you knew what you wanted. You worked through things together; your insecurities, his anger towards his father, and arguments were always solved within twenty four hours. The two of you silently disowned your families, stayed at school during the holidays, kept your grades up, and started planning for your future.
You had a trust fund and a college fund. And those were expected to be used for an Ivy League education. Aaron applied to every scholarship he could find. He refused to take anything from his father. He was ready to cut his family completely up. And your senior year, he got a full scholarship to GWU. You were accepted into Yale, just like the rest of your family. You were also accepted full scholarship into GWU, and you knew, the moment you got your acceptance letter, what you were going to do.
Yale held no appeal for you. It was filled with the same people who had tormented you, people who would spy on you for your parents, and those who wanted nothing but your family name and money. When you told Aaron of your choice his eyes had gone wide. “But it’s Yale.”
You shrug, “I want something different.”
“What’s that?”
“You. A happy life. My own life.”
“Didn’t you say your parents would cut you off . . .”
“I don’t care. I have a full scholarship. And, I’ve been squirreling away money from my trust fund and the money they send every month. I have a nice nest egg.”
He hesitated, “I don’t want you to do this for me.”
“I’m not. I’m doing this for me. I’m saying no to a toxic family, yes to a man who loves me, and yes to a future that I get to decide.”
He had pulled you onto his lap, and you had snuggled in. You had stayed there for several moments before he had whispered, “Marry me.”
Shock had flooded you, “What?”
“Marry me.”
You had sat there in shock for several minutes before standing up. “Aaron, that’s crazy. We’re eighteen. We’re about to start college. And the statistics about teen marriages, and . . .”
He had grabbed your hand, “We’re the exception. We know what we want. I want you. Do you want me?”
You hadn’t hesitated, “Yes. With everything I have.”
He smiled, “You’ll marry me?”
“Yes.”
You had waited for graduation. And two hours after you had accepted your diplomas the two of you had climbed into your car and gone down to the court and filed for a marriage license. You’d had to wait for seventy-to hours afterwards and then you had gotten married in front of a judge. You’d worn a simple sundress, and Aaron had worn slacks and a button down. And then you were married.
You had sent off an email to your parents. The next day your trust fund had been pulled, and you had received an email from daddy dearest declaring he was disowning you. Only joy had filled you. Your car was in your name, and that was a huge thing. The two of you had also gotten some graduation money which will hopefully keep you afloat.
Aaron’s parents hadn’t taken it much better. The two of you had shown up at their house while his dad was at work, he’d told his mother what the two of you had done, and she’d called Aaron’s father as the two of you packed what you needed to take with you. And that was how you had ended up here. Driving a car filled with your belongings towards GWU and a bright but terrifying future.
