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Why Not Me?

If I can be transparent with you for a moment, today has been a rough day. Not as in everything is overwhelming me but more so in the I’m having a low self-esteem day rough. Rejection has always been a difficult for me to accept. Instead of using it as a learning lesson or fully believing that God says No because he has better in mind, I simply invited all my insecurities over for a pity party. It was easier for me to feel like I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, ambitious enough or just simply enough for others. I was too busy focusing on my lack that I didn’t think to change my focus toward the one who created me.

I always come across stories about biblical women like Esther, Ruth or the lovely and talented Proverbs 31 woman, but what about those of us who can relate more with Leah. Women who feel that they are constantly being overlooked because they don’t measure up to someone else’s standards. How many of us can honestly say we’ve been infatuated with someone who has NO interest in us whatsoever. Yet we linger because we believe that eventually God will clean bae’s eyes so that they can see their blessing. Leah longed for Jacob to love her yet he was in love with her sister Rachel. “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful.” There was nothing Leah could do to convince Jacob that she was bae. Jacob loved Rachel so much so that he worked 7 years to marry her, and even when Laban trapped him into marrying Leah, he still worked another 7 years for her. Imagine a man working 14 years in order to marry you. Now imagine how Leah must have felt upon being brought to her husband Jacob just to hear him proclaim:“What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?” Rejection, disgust and anger all in his words. His love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. Imagine the hurt and pain she must have felt knowing he loved her less.

God saw that she was unloved and enabled her to give birth while her sister Rachel remained childless. Even after birthing 4 sons, she was still not enough to be loved by Jacob. After her first born she thought her husband would have surely changed his mind and love her, but he didn’t. After the second son she still had her hopes up yet Jacob still didn’t love her. After her 3rd son she reallyyyy thought he would come around and become attached to her BUT…he didn’t. It wasn’t until her fourth son that she decided to shift her focus from her husband and his love toward God and His love. Her attention was no longer on pleasing her husband or making him realize what a great woman he had on his hands. She praised God. She no longer attached her worth to Jacob but to her Lord and savior.

It could have been easy for Leah to point out Rachel’s flaws to Jacob: “Yes she was beautiful or whateva but she can’t give you heirs like I can Bruh.” All she wanted was his love, not his money, not status, just love. Many women deal with the spirit of rejection and give into it instead of fighting back with the word of God. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are made in His image, we are chosen and precious in His sight! How amazing is that?!?! It’s time for us to stop falling in love with potential and start praying for discernment. Stop allowing rejection to shift your perception of who you are and what your purpose is.

Never forget that what God has for you is more amazing than what you have for yourself. In this lifetime you will get overlooked for a job, promotion and yes by people; yet and still praise God. His No is saving you from disaster, His No is saving you from yourself, His No is saving you for something far better. Rejection sucks, believe me I know. But at the end of the day I’d rather be God’s gem hidden for the person, position, location, whatever it is that He has for me. God will always step in to let you know how valuable and precious you are to him.

Be Blessed.