THE WAITING ROOM || H. PENDRAGON (AU)
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ IN WHICH Lettie expressed to reader how much she meant to her.
CH06: End of Beginning.
You squinted your eyes to get a clearer read of the neat yet ridiculously small handwriting from your position. If it weren’t for the inch of curve Lettie spared her letters, the written tag might as well be sentences of I and O’s. Howl, upon noticing your struggle, snorted, “Relax. I am giving this back.” He handed you the worn notebook, which you immediately took.
“Wouldn’t want your pretty eyes to pop out of their sockets now, would we?” He gave you a cheeky smirk but you paid him no mind, his terrible quip making it easier for you to do so. You focused particularly at the very last section, your fingertips meticulously tracing the every indent of the smooth, marked surface, each shape and line forming a sequence of familiar digits.
Name: Lettie Hatter
Year: [scribbled off]
Subject: Che…try
In case of Emergency, contact:
[correc–(09XX–XXX–XXXX)–tion tape]
‘...He was right.’
Astonished, you didn’t notice the stutter in your breath nor the baby tears that kept themselves bay at the inner core of your eyes—you couldn’t be bothered to. In your hand rested the thorn that had been stuck in your throat, the hush to the venomous whispers of your heart. You were wrong. Oh, how glad you were to be wrong for the first time.
She didn’t see you simply as a piece of meat, as another cargo in her boat. No, your penned phone number had told you that was not the case. Lettie had always seen you as a person, as her friend, as someone. You noticed the notebook lightly creased and bent at how much pressure you had unintentionally put in your hold, loosening it into a more appropriate pressure and smoothening the faint mark the crease left.
You meekly glanced at Lettie, who had been uncharacteristically quiet this whole time, only to find her look so… mortified. Her whole face, especially her ears and the apple of her cheeks, had taken a rich pink color, eyes cartoonishly widened and lips pressed into an awkward thin line.
Embarrassing, that was the only word circling inside the brunette’s mind, very, very embarrassing. ‘How the hell did he even get ahold of the notebook?!’ She innerly screeched, her ear catching each thump of her pulse. ‘Think, Lettie, think. When was the last time you saw that notebook?’
‘It was on Wednesday–’ Lettie audibly gasped, “Mrs. Fairfax!”
Howl snapped his thumb with his middle finger, the satisfying click rang crisp through the air despite the busy hallway, “Bingo. You forgot to stop by at the faculty last week. She was worried you’d need your notebook for something else so she asked me to return it to you.”
“But why you?”
“The way you speak of me is really starting to hurt, Miss Lettie,” Howl sighed, a faux tone of hurt in his voice, “I don’t know either, but she seemed eager, so…” He trailed off with a carefree shrug. Yet despite the answers she was given, Lettie remained frustrated.
She understood that her teacher was fond of the man, but was there really no other student who’d be willing to return her notebook without going through such a… questionable method?
“By the way, I forgot to ask you your n—” Before Howl could finish his sentence, Lettie hugged and tugged her best friend’s arm; she knew it wouldn’t take long before he became trouble, “Thank you for the trouble. We should go.” You nodded, reading her thoughts, “Yes, it’s already late. Goodbye.”
In spite of Lettie’s still wobbly knees, she took large consecutive steps, satiating her itch to get away from the man. Although her cheeks still flushed pink, it had, thankfully, considerably lightened when compared to her shade before. She now looked more composed and less alarming to look at.
Yet still you asked, gently bumping your shoulder against hers as you did so, “Are you okay?” It took Lettie a moment longer than expected to respond, kicking herself on the inside for the stupid unwarranted hesitation, ‘It was a close-ended question, what else was there to hesitate about?’ She returned your action, albeit more languid in her movements, “Yeah. I’m okay.”
The answer left you unsatisfied but you still nodded in acknowledgement, unsure if it’d be impolite—if you had the right to press further. Because if Lettie wanted you in her business, she would’ve opened the door. And while it took the brunette a moment more, eventually, she did.
“I was just… red because it was embarrassing to watch you find your number in the emergency contact in real time.” She chortled, letting go of your arm to clasp her hands behind her. You raised your brows at the sudden confession, your heart swelling with delight, “I was surprised, honestly. You never told me.” You remarked with a smile, which earned you a whine from the woman, her gaze avoiding yours, “I plan to.”
“But why me?”
“Don’t get me wrong, being your emergency contact made me feel really special,” It truly did. To think that out of all the people she kept close in her small circle, it was you whom she trusted, if the worst came to worse, for her well being; you’d be lying if you say it didn’t blow your trumpet. Then again, “I was just curious because you could’ve chosen anyone—your parents, Sophie, even Martha.”
“But instead you chose me, someone you met in high school five years ago.”
You gave a sheepish smile, “I mean, compared to them, you know, I’d consider myself to be at the very bottom of the barrel.”
Lettie forced herself to look at you, swallowing the lump she didn’t notice had formed in her throat, “Remember the time you saw me asleep under a willow tree?” You blinked, tilting your head to the side as you did your best to recall, “The first time we actually talked?” That made her chuckle, “Yes.”
“I had that big fight with Fanny,” She huffed to herself, amused that looking back at the memory had evoked a strange fondness in her chest, “As usual, nobody was on my side but Martha, and even then I doubt she fully understood what I was fighting for or how much it hurted.” You blithely nodded, you remembered her saying the exact same thing when you asked her back then.
“But I guess that was a thousandfold better than them who didn’t even bother to. Now tell me, what else was a girl supposed to do in that situation but sulk?” Your hand subconsciously found her farthest shoulder and Lettie couldn’t help but melt at the contact, “I felt so… messy. I only wanted to learn and grow but apparently it was wrong.”
“And it was wrong not because of the path I wished to take, but because it was me who wished to take it,” She furrowed her eyebrows, blinking repeatedly to shoo the forming tears off, “It was so unfair.” You frowned, giving her a firm, gentle squeeze on her shoulder, “It is. Very, very much. You deserved a chance to fly too.”
Lettie suppressed the heartfelt smile from reaching her ears, only letting it splay just a tad to hide how much those words meant to her. Her eyes were more honest though. She awkwardly cleared her throat, “And when we met, it was, um, the first time I felt seen. I mean, we instantly clicked and bonded over it too.” You both chuckled at the memory.
“At the time, you were the only adult—well, almost-adult that I’d let myself run to if things went south, you know what I mean?” You didn’t so you didn’t answer. She continued, “You’re one of the few, and the very first adult in my life that I don’t always have to be in defense against,” A tired sigh escaped her lips, “You never question my worth or keep me in my lane.”
She took your hand off her shoulder to instead hug your arm, tucking it tightly to her side, “I never felt the need to scrap and holler for your ears, because somehow, you always lend them to me either way, no matter what.”
“Having your name written there—it just felt right.”
Touched wouldn’t even begin to cover the feeling that overwhelmed your heart. It didn’t help that her eyes looked at you with nothing but sincerity on them too. “That’s new. That’s the first I’ve heard of that.” You almost choked in your playful attempt to lighten the serious tone her confession brought. The brunette only rolled her eyes, “Because this is the first I’ve explained why you’re my emergency contact, silly.”
“You’re very important to me. I’m sorry if the whole misunderstanding made you feel otherwise.”
Guilt gnawed its dull teeth into your skin, sinking painfully slowly until it pierced through your flesh. You harshly worried your bottom lip, you felt so ashamed; it only took you a misunderstanding for your trust in Lettie to crumble, for you to doubt the five years of foundation you’ve built together.
Fuck the thought that Lettie disliked you, did you even like her as much as she liked you?
You wanted to throw up. You wanted to pull your gut out from your mouth and scrape it clean from all the dirt and stain that had festered for the past three days. “Y/N?” Lettie called out before your thoughts could spiral further, your skin felt cold against hers, “Is everything okay?” You blinked, the question grounding you back to the present.
Without much further thought, your tongue moved, “I’m sorry.”
Lettie rose her brows, she was caught off guard for a second but quickly got ahold of herself straight after. She patted your elbow in reassurance, “It’s okay, I get you. I mean, what else were you supposed to think in such a predicament?”
“A little faith would’ve helped.” You muttered, more so to yourself. Your friend only shook her head at your counter, “I think you did have. Might’ve been shaken up but it’s still there.” Her reply made you look at her bemused, wasn’t she putting you on a pedestal? One look at the maggots that fed on your brain was enough to rebut her words. “You don’t know that.”
“Fair. But you choosing to come here is still something.”
Your eyebrow twitched, how stubborn, “You’re cherry picking.” Lettie teasingly puckered her lips and shifted her gaze into the distance, pretending to contemplate before cracking into a grin, “Hmm… Nuh uh.”
That sure brought an itch on the inside of your upper eyelid that only your iris could scratch. Lovingly, of course.
By the time you exited the building, the moon was already peeking under its deep cerulean blanket, vivid purple ends of the cover steadily draping over the golden sky. It soon should completely fall to put a close to the final act, however—
“Wanna go grab a bite?”
A story could only end once the author chooses to put their pen down. Your steps suddenly came to a stop and in doing so, forced Lettie to do the same. Her widened eyes locked onto your nervous pair; your arms were already halfway untangled, ready to part once you reach the gates.
You knew her curfew was only in an hour and a half but right now, the selfish part of you couldn’t care any less. Who knows, amidst your busy schedules, especially Lettie’s, would the two of you get to hang out again? Talk again, laugh again, do anything together again? There was so much you wanted to do in such little time.
Fortunately, once again, she rode the same boat as you. “Oh my gosh, yes? Of course!” The stars beneath Lettie’s eyes twinkled, “There’s so much we have to catch up on.” She smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling at the action. By the feeling of the stretch in your cheeks, you imagined you were probably sporting the same expression.
“Let’s go to the usual joint?” Lettie asked as you two began to head for the gates. You nodded, “Mhm. My treat.” She beamed further at your offer; you were starting to worry about the strain she was putting on her cheeks.
“Oh, yes. I almost forgot,” You suddenly took notice of the long forgotten notebook on your other hand and handed it to the brunette. She took the item with a small “oh” and practically shoved inside her heavy backpack—you could tell from the way it hung when she took the other strap off to reach for the zipper, “Were you planning to take it home with you?”
You arched an eyebrow at her teasing, “It has my number on it. Might as well.” You paused as soon as you uttered the last word out, something in that sentence lit the light bulb on above your head. Your friend watched your brain form a question in real time and she might have an intuition as to what it might be about.
“By the way, you’re still my emergency contact. Just more… formal.” She answered your unspoken question, timidly lifting the I.D. wrapped around her neck before chucking it down. Flustered, Lettie abruptly sped her pace up, forcing you to quickly pick your slacked jaw up and catch up to her.
“Can I please, please see it again? I didn’t get a good look at it.”
“Nuh uh. You snooze, you lose.”
