That moment when Steve forgets the Howling Commandos are right there and they all hear his nonsense in public.
When I saw this meme I laughed so hard! Steve’s expressions just say it all. Even though mine didn’t turn out exactly the same, I think the spirit’s still there!
Credits to the original author of the meme
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Summary: Bucky Barnes x fe!Reader -> Bucky helps you adjust to the modern world.
Disclaimer: This is part three to Meant To Be (2). Fluff, flashbacks/descriptions of life in the 40s with Bucky and the others, platonic!Sam, mention of character deaths, reader is on a little bit of an emotional roller-coaster when trying to adjust but Bucky helps, dancing in the kitchen to music, all the feels. Not Proof Read.
“Thought I might find you here.”
You turned your head to see Sam approaching you as you sat, alone, in the Smithsonian.
“Hey.”
Sam smiled. “Hey. Mind if I sit?”
“Go ahead.”
As Sam sat beside you, he looked up to the projector screen. Clips of your old life had been playing for the last two hours or more. It has taken all of an hour on the phone with Tony for the Smithsonian to consider sending the film reels over, and all of five minutes talking to Pepper for them to agree.
You’d seen a lot of the popular clips MJ had told you about; Steve and Bucky laughing, Peggy’s picture in Steve’s compass, the marching soldiers. You’d even seen some clips of you and Bucky. Moments you didn’t realise that had been recorded.
It made your heart ache.
“Wanna talk about it?”
You shook your head. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There’s everything to talk about. Food. Music. The fact Bucky still prefers 40s music over Marvin Gaye.”
You chuckled and Sam smiled, relieved to see at least a hint of a smile on your face.
You’d been in the future for almost three months. And, while he’d seen you smile around the boys and a few others. He still saw that longing look in your eyes. He still saw the hitch in your breathing every time you looked up and someone walked inside.
The others saw it, too. Especially Bucky. But parts of them were too afraid to ask. They’d lived in the future a lot longer than you. For Steve, he’d been asleep for most of it. And for Bucky, he’d been tortured. Made into someone else for seventy years.
You? In the blink of an eye, you’d gone from living in 1944 to suddenly appearing in the home of, who would have probably been, your godson.
“Come on. Talk to me. I promise, I’m a really good secret keeper.”
You smiled and shook your head, letting some old clips run through. “I…” The tears came to your eyes. “I don’t know what I’m meant to do here. I-I know I don’t go back. And I know I’m probably here for the rest of my life but…I don’t know what I’m meant to do.”
Sam just sat and listened to you.
“One day I’m writing things down; military secrets, my own secrets, notes to share with the boys. One day I’m yelling at Howard to get up, threatening to throw a cold bucket of water over his head.” You laughed, but all it did was try to mask the pain. “The next…the next I’m being told one of my best friends didn’t get to live his life out with the love of his life, another went through seventy years of torture and the rest are dead.”
You took a breath and looked at the clip playing on the screen. Peggy and you directing where things would be taking place on the map table. Bucky was standing behind you before he carried a larger map over and Steve circled different spots where he knew camps had been set up.
For you, that clip took place six months ago.
“And now I’m watching clips of my life that to me…only just happened. And…I don’t know what to do with that information.”
“You’re grieving.” Sam told you. “You’re having to say goodbye to a lot of people very quickly. Which is insane. But it’s gonna be a process. Even if you think you’re ready to mentally accept it, sometimes your body isn’t. You need to give it time.”
You scoffed a little. “That seems to be all I have. Time. Time to think. Time to remember. Time to catch up on Time. Sam, if none of this happened, I’d probably be dead by now, if not, on my way out.”
“But you’re not. Instead, you’re here. You’re alive, and so is Steve and Bucky. Believe me, I get it. You’ve come from a war and, just because you’ve come home doesn’t mean that it’s stopped. But all you need to do right now is rest.”
You talked to Sam for an hour or more before eventually the conversation died away and you were both left to sit and watch the different film reels. But as the dates got slightly sporadic, the clips became more…intimate.
One started playing out from when you’d all been stationed in London. You’d all ended up at a dance hall somewhere outside the city. It was only a small space but people seemed to create enough room for couples to dance.
Peggy was in the corner, introducing Steve to some of her old friends. You were standing by one of the posts, watching everyone on the floor sway to the music and Bucky, like usual, had a crowd of girls around him.
You turned your attention away from the clip of Bucky in hopes to kill the pang of jealousy inside your chest.
“They really loved each other, didn’t they?”
You knew who Sam was talking about. And you nodded with a ghost of a smile. “They really did.”
But that was when Sam’s attention was torn from the happy couple towards Bucky who, although had been smiling and laughing with three girls who’d crowded around him, his attention was caught somewhere else.
Rather, on someone else.
You.
Looking over his shoulder at you, Sam watched your reaction before looking back to Bucky as he apologised to the girls and disappeared. He was heading straight for you. Taking your drink from you, he shocked you as he placed it on the table beside you before he took your hand in his and brought you to the floor.
Sam could faintly hear the music playing from the band. “We’ll meet again. Don’t know where. Don’t know when. But I know we’ll meet again, some sunny day…”
Never in his life had Sam seen Bucky dance. Not with anyone. But that wasn’t what shocked him. What shocked him was the look on Bucky’s face. A smile. A genuine smile. The kind a man only ever saved for the love of his life.
Unlike some of the other couples on the floor, Bucky held you close to him. His arm practically wrapped around you completely in comparison to some of the other dancers. This was not a man who was prepared to let you go.
With your hand in his, his fingers caressed the back of your hand and his feet led you both around in a small circle.
“When was this?” Sam asked quietly in order to not scare you. You were engrossed with the clip. Clearly, you were reliving the scene as you watched it play out.
You swallowed thickly. “1942…I think. We…we were stationed in London. He always saved me a dance. I’ve always had two left feet so I didn’t dance much but…”
“Doesn’t seem like you’ve got two left feet, there.”
You smiled, fondly. “He’s a good dance partner.”
Sam chuckled under his breath before watching the rest of the clip with you.
Sam had never asked Bucky complete questions about you before you appeared. Bucky wasn’t exactly a talkative guy, so he’d just wait for him to open up. But after you returned and he saw the way Bucky tried to never leave your side, he asked him the one question he’d been dying to ask since Bucky had first said your name.
“How long have you been in love with her?”
All Bucky could say was, “Too long.”.
And watching this clip, Sam realised what Bucky had meant. You’d been tattooed on his heart since he first met you. Even when he was the Winter Soldier, he still got flashbacks of you. Even when he left Wakanda, part of him still wanted you to be alive somewhere.
Whenever he went on a date, your name on his heart only burned deeper into his muscles. He’d been consumed by you since he probably first met you. And he didn’t want it any other way.
The clip ran out before a new one started up.
Home videos.
These were even more precious, because there weren't very many.
The first one to play was from the day you’d all been on the beach. Howard’s home led out to it.
“Dugan! Put that camera down and come and join us!” You heard Peggy yell.
You smiled, thankful to hear their voices again.
From the beach day, however, one clip stood out to you the most.
You were lying on one of the sunbeds under the shade, reading. And from behind you, Bucky had snuck up on you before plucking the book from your hands. Turning around, he read a few sentences out loud as he walked away.
“James! Hey, give that back!” You laughed as you stood up and followed after him.
“Who brings a book to the beach, doll? You’ll only be taking half of this place back with you.”
“Then I’ll collect it in a jar as a keepsake. Would you-just-” You gave a huff as Bucky held your book well out of reach.
“Join us. Just one game. Please?” He begged, his eyes softening.
“Yeah! Come on, sweet cheeks! You’re missing out!”
You turned around to look at Howard who hit the volleyball back to Peggy. Then you turned back to Bucky, his eyes somehow even softer.
You groaned. “Fine. But then you’ll give me my book back?”
Bucky stood to attention before placing a cross over his heart with his finger. “Cross my heart, doll…”
You eyed him up, humming. “I’ll hold you to that.”
You could remember that day. You ended up playing three rounds before the entire thing became a football game nobody kept score of. Peggy beat most of the boys, Steve stared at her in adoration.
But for the first time, you noticed Bucky looking at you.
You remembered turning around that day, thinking he’d been looking at Steve and Peggy. But…
From the clip, it was clear as day he was looking at you.
And it took your breath away.
You only spotted it more and more as the clips played through.
You and Bucky lay together, heads touching as you held your book above you both, reading out loud. Some of the Commandos had fallen asleep on the sofas, listening to your voice read. But Bucky hadn’t. His eyes were fully on you.
The clips from when a photographer had been hired to take a group shot of the entire team. The video was taken from behind the photographer.
You pointed out who everyone was to Sam and what they were doing. Then you both noticed Bucky looking at you before you turned your head to look at him.
Then something started to dawn on you.
Most of the time whenever you’d look at Bucky…
“He was already looking at you,” Sam said, out loud.
“Yeah…”
Sam had sat on the bench in front of you, stretching himself out as he propped himself up on his elbow. He looked up at you where you’d barely moved from your seat since he arrived.
And from the look on your face, Sam wondered if his bet with Steve wouldn’t run as long as he thought.
It was a few days later, when you were sitting in the living room, flipping through some fictional novels MJ had dropped off for you, that you saw Bucky again.
“Hey.”
You looked up. “Hey.”
As he stood by the door, looking a little awkward, he held a brown box in his arms. “I just…I thought you might…”
He walked inside before placing the box down carefully on the coffee table in front of you.
“What is it? I swear to god, Bucky, if this is some kind of makeshift animal habitat I’m gonna-”
Bucky shook his head, trying to hide his smile. There was only one reason why you thought that’s what it was and that was because you’d both been rooting through Howard’s basement one sunny afternoon before meeting the others at the beach.
That was where you’d found out Howard was thinking about starting an animal sanctuary for all kinds of animals.
“No. No, it’s nothing like that.” Bucky said, slight amusement in his voice. “It’s…after you disappeared, Colonel Phillips…” Bucky had never had to say the words out loud before.
When he’d come home with a box of your things, Steve didn’t need to be told what it meant. The military saw you as dead and needed to replace you as quickly as they could.
“He had me clean out your desk and I couldn’t think about throwing any of it away.”
“Oh.”
Bucky carefully sat beside you as you reached over and pulled the lid from the box. It smelled like the 40s.
“I didn’t even know it still existed until I moved in here. They must have kept everything from Steve’s apartment after he went into the ice. I didn’t ask him where it went or how he got it back. I was just glad to know your things still existed.”
Reaching inside, you pulled out a few old notepads, aged with colour. To you, they’d been brand new, straight out of their packaging a few months ago.
Then you found the pictures. With a sad smile, you wiped the dust away from the frame. A picture of yourself, Peggy, Steve, Howard and Bucky. It had been a rare night out in Brooklyn.
Another picture of Steve and the Howling Commandos with Peggy beside him. One of yourself, Howard and Mr Jarvis. It was grainy, but you could still see the reflection of Jarvis’ wife in the gleaming windows behind you. She’d been adamant to not be in the picture since she wanted a copy of all three of you, too.
Scrap pieces of paper were bundled together. Notes to give Peggy her pen back, find Steve a pack of fresh pencils since he’d picked up a habit of breaking them. He still wasn’t used to his strength. A note to attend the meeting with Peggy and the Colonel on Thursday, a note to run your recruit papers down to City Hall since you’d agreed to take three trainees under your wing, and one final note…
Museum with James, this Saturday.
The ink had worn with time, but the sentiment had only grown.
He’d asked you to the new museum exhibit. He’d asked you that day. That morning.
“There’s also this.”
You turned and looked at Bucky before looking down at his hands. Your notebook. The one you kept locked in your desk drawer. It took your breath away as you took it in your hands.
All the conversations you’d had with him, all the dates you’d been on together. But after the day of your disappearance, the handwriting changed.
It was no longer yours, but Bucky’s. You’d seen enough of his half finished paperwork that he’d try to sneak into your pile to know his handwriting almost immediately.
It wasn’t listed by dates, but with a line drawn under each section, you knew they were day by day.
“I kept it with me.” Bucky told you. “Everything I wanted to talk to you about.”
You fought your hardest to keep your tears at bay. “These dashes? What do they mean?”
“They’re when I’ve talked to you.”
You were confused.
“The Colonel…he made sure you had a grave. Said it would help people move on if they wanted to. They’d have a place to still talk to you. It’s still there.”
You turned and looked back at the list. You’d seen your grave, once. You’d stand behind the cobble wall, looking at it under one of the blossom trees. You couldn’t bear to walk any closer.
“I knew I wanted to talk to you. Sometimes it was to the stars, but mostly it was to…to your grave.”
You quickly wiped away a tear. Something panged tight in your chest.
An image of Bucky kneeling at your grave, dusting the fallen blossom petals from the top of the marble stone. An image of Bucky kneeling at your grave, talking to you about; Meeting Sam, Working with Sam, his New Therapist, the WS Programme, Steve and Peggy, Steve and Natasha, his nightmare about the 40s…
The images killed you.
“Doll?”
Bucky laid a hand on your knee, his fingers reaching up to push some hair from your eyes. Without taking another second to think, you turned and hugged Bucky. Tight.
“I’m so sorry.” You could hear your voice shaking.
“Sorry? What for?”
You leaned back after a few seconds and wiped your eyes and shook your head. “Everything? I…I can’t believe I missed so much.”
Bucky shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise for that.”
“Feels like I do.”
“No,” Bucky told you. “Never. First, you have nothing to apologise for. And second,” Bucky brushed the hair clear from your face so he could see you properly. “Second,” he repeated, his voice a little softer than before. “You never have to apologise to me. You didn’t then. You don’t now.”
You managed to smile, and once Bucky recognised it to be genuine, he smiled, too.
“You eaten yet?”
You shook your head. “Book’s too riveting.”
You both looked at the red bound book on the coffee table. Agatha Christie. A publication from the seventies.
Bucky smiled. “Why am I not surprised? I’ll make us something.”
Bucky stood, surprising you a little when he placed a light kiss to the top of your head as he did so before walking towards the kitchen. “Do I wanna know how you found it?”
You smiled, following him with your book in hand. “MJ brought them over. Peter must have told her I was bored and she said her aunt had most of these books just laying in her attic taking up space. Told me I could have them.”
“How far are you?” Bucky was moving around the kitchen as you sat down at the kitchen island, watching him.
“Couple of chapters. Why?”
Bucky paused for a second and smiled. “Read it to me.”
“Are you sure?” You asked, already opening the book up.
He nodded. “I’m sure. I’ve missed hearing you read.”
You couldn’t ignore the butterflies that erupted in your stomach at hearing him say that. So, unable to hide your smile, you read outloud. And every time you tried to sneak a glance at him, you found him already looking at you.
It was a few more weeks before you actually asked him about it. About the way he’s always looked at you. And it had been after you’d watched Annie.
He’d been looking at you throughout the movie, and a few times you’d caught him, a light blush dusting his cheeks. But when you were both in the kitchen, cooking a meal together with the radio playing lightly in the background, you finally mentioned it.
“You’re gonna cut your fingers if you don’t pay attention.”
“I am paying attention,” Bucky said as he continued to chop.
“You’re staring again.”
Bucky smiled. “Can’t help it.”
You just looked at him and rolled your eyes lightly before turning around and dumping the chopped carrots into the pot.
“Fine. But don’t come running to me when you start bleeding.”
Bucky just held up his hand. “Can’t bleed.”
You looked up. He had you there.
“Do you wanna peel the sprouts?” You asked for the bowl on the kitchen island.
Dumping what he’d already chopped into the pot with yours, he came to stand beside you before picking each sprout out, peeling away a few of their layers.
But as time slowly passed by, Bucky’s presence becoming a true comfort to you, he stopped what he was doing before he silently took your hand in his.
“Bucky.”
“Dance with me. We don’t get to do this anymore.”
You sighed, but still agreed. And it wasn’t long before your brain took you back to that dance hall in London. The scent of Bucky’s aftershave consuming your senses in such a way you’d know you’d be able to still faintly smell him when he’d long left the room. His touch burned into your skin through your clothes, and the rhythm of your heart joined his.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Always, doll.”
You smiled and leaned back a little in order to see his face. “It’s about your staring. You’re always looking at me. Why?”
“Straight to the point. I like it.”
You suppressed your laugh and hit it in the chest. “I’m being serious. Why? I didn't think I noticed it until I watched our home videos.”
“You’ve watched the home videos?”
You nodded. “Yeah. There were only a few clips that I could get fed through the film reel. But…you’re always looking at me.”
His smile softened. “That’s because you’re beautiful.”
You laughed. “Bucky, I’m being serious.”
He looked a little hurt. “So am I.”
You knew it had hit you, what he truly meant. You just hadn’t been expecting it to hit you so hard.
“Buck…”
“I’m always looking because I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, doll.” Bucky told you, truthfully.
The song crackled and changed over the radio but neither of you stopped dancing together. Your hand was still firmly in his, your body was still flushed against him.
“I know you haven’t seen the last seventy years…but I have. No woman compares to you, Y/n. Not a single one…”
Bucky’s voice trailed away as he laid himself bare for you. Your heart was thumping in your ears, your lips parted and took in what air you could, which wasn’t much. And just as the walls around both of you started to fade away and the music became nothing more than soundwaves, you felt yourself lean closer to him.
“Doll…”
“James…”
It seemed to take forever for his lips to meet with yours, but once they did, there wasn’t a chance in all of the universe that you’d let yourself forget the feeling of his kiss.
His hand that wrapped around your lower back and held you in by your hips, tightened. With his other hand guiding your arm around his shoulders, he was quick to hold you closer to him; if that was even possible.
As your hands came to hold his face, his lips moving to kiss you even more, he lifted you from the floor a little.
By the time you both broke away for air, your eyes remained closed as his head rested against yours.
“Please tell me this isn’t just a one time thing,” Bucky asked you.
You shook your head, a little out of breath. “No. This…this isn’t just a one time thing.”
“Good.” He told you before finally opening his eyes to look at you. “I’ve waited more than seventy years to kiss you.”
Your hands linked around his neck as he stood there with you in his arms. “Was it worth the wait?”
A slight chuckle left Bucky. “Oh, most definitely, doll.”
He didn’t wait another second before capturing your lips in another kiss. He would have waited a thousand lifetimes for you, but he didn’t have to. You were alive, you were breathing, and you were kissing him back.
It wouldn’t be long before he’d tell you how deep his feelings ran for you. But you’d surprise him that day by beating him to it. Even if the last seventy years had been nothing but a blink of the eye for you, it had been almost a hundred for Bucky.
You loved him too much to make him wait any longer.
comic i did last night about bucky and steve in the same universe as the redesigns i did, somewhere between the movies and the comics
drawn traditionally using micron and marker on 8 x 10 ^^
