LABRYNTH - EJ.C
bejeweled | karma | masterlist
summary: the one where you realise that what you thought was going on between you and ej was not real
wordcount: 1.2k
Samantha Morgans was your best friend, your next door neighbour and your confidante - at least, she used to be when you were little kids. She still seems to think that she deserves to know everything that’s going on in your life.
She had picked you up after a theatre rehearsal for dinner and she had teased you in the car about how cute EJ Caswell was.
Discussing the boy that you were obviously head over heels about was not what you wanted to do so you managed to divert the conversation to her and her time at college - she always loved talking about herself.
The train rocked back and forth as you headed into the inner city, sitting next to Samantha, hoping that she didn't bring up that subject again. But you knew her, she loved to snoop.
“So, EJ?
You felt your heart skip a beat at he sound of his name, like you always did, like a little girl with a schoolgirl crush - and you guess, in most ways, that’s all it was.
Samantha looked at your nonchalant expression, not knowing that underneath you were already drowning at the sound of his name, “He’s perfect,” she said, “Pretty guy, nice, good singer,”
“I know,” you muttered, trying not to meet her eyes.
You looked out of the window as the city passed you by. You wished she would drop the conversation.
She just stared at you, “I saw the way he looked at you,” she said.
“I know,” you repeated.
There was silence after that. This was the one subject that you did not want to discuss, especially not right now.
You had all found out about his relationship with Nini when you had returned to school and it had broke your heart. You really thought that you had a chance.
A part of you hated yourself for not asking him out before summer had started, before he ever had a chance to ask Nini out and fall for her. This was a common theme with you - you were always just a little bit too late.
You cursed yourself as you realised you were falling in love, again! He was just someone who was nice to you and paid you any attention and here you were grovelling at his feet like he had turned your whole life around.
Breathe in, breathe through.
You had zoned off and hadn't even realised that Samantha had called your name before she tapped you on the shoulder.
You looked over at her, eyes meeting hers for the first time since you had started this conversation, “What would you do if he asked you out?”
“He wouldn't,” you scoffed.
His relationship with Nini was solid. She seemed to adore him and his face lit up every time that he mentioned her. They were the leads in the play and you were nobody in comparison.
Your heart was squeezing in your chest and you had to hope that she couldn’t see the turmoil on your face.
“He’s just nice to everyone,” you said after a little while, trying to convince yourself as much as you were convincing her.
“He gave you those flirty eyes, I saw the way he talked to you,” she said, nudging your shoulder with hers, giving you a teasing smile, “You were the most important person in the room,”
There was that sharp pain again. The one deep inside of your chest as you had to listen to your friend drone on and on about how the two of you would be such a cute couple and that it was obvious that he had feelings for you.
You didn't understand why the words were caught in your throat like that. You couldn't figure out why you couldn't just tell Sam that he had a girlfriend, that he didn't see you in the way that he saw her.
Maybe it’s because if you did, if you opened her mouth and admitted it, you would yell it out.
You would scream the words out about how much you wished that he looked at you the way that he looked at Nini.
The monotone voice of the woman blasting from the speaker on the train took you out of you thoughts.
You sniffled, eyes darting away for a second to hide the way that the tears started to burn behind your eyes. You didn't know why you wanted to cry, unsure whether it was the embarrassment of the situation or your anger towards it.
“We’re at our stop,” you muttered, looking up at her with a half hearted smile that she looked past.
She held her arm out, giving you a smile. You nodded, linking your arm with hers as you forgot about the conversation.
You heard your phone beep in your pocket and looked down at the notification - EJ has posted late. You internally cursed be real for notifying you of his existence.
Samantha rushed off to look at a market stall and you pulled your phone out of your pocket, opening the notification to see him sitting on the sofa, one arm wrapped around Nini’s shoulder whilst the other side showed them watching a TV show together.
You felt your heart sink in your chest at the sight of the boy that you were completely enamoured with hanging out with someone else.
You could only blame yourself for not asking him out soon enough and for being so ridiculous about it all. You could only blame yourself for requesting to follow him, now being subjected to the torture of watching him be happy with someone else.
Samantha waved her hands at you, encouraging you to come over and join the festivities. Despite your heart sinking in your chest, you walked over.
The older girl wrapped an arm around your shoulder and led you through the stalls, “Guys suck,” she said, almost like she could see the inner turmoil you were suffering.
You scoffed. There was a silence after that, like Samantha was waiting to see how you would react to the whole scenario and whether you would finally admit it.
You watched as people walked around you, the market crowded with happy young couples, men who looked at their partners like they hung the stars. If only EJ would look at you like that.
There was a bitter seed in your chest that was planted that day, one that said that boys were not worth the trouble. You should really be focusing on the most important school year of your life rather than the gorgeous boy who you wished would look at you the way he looked at his girlfriend.
Just the thought made you sick to your stomach. Nini was your friend, why were you so envious of her?
Maybe because just like you, she was nothing special. She had no hidden talent, no star studded looks, no perfection. She was ordinary. And so were you. So why didn’t he pick you?
samantha could see the way that you had zoned out, eyes focused on a bench where a couple was sitting hand in hand, the girls head on her shoulder, “Come on,” she tugged on your hand, “Let’s go get some dinner,”
You nodded. There was a weight lifted off of your chest knowing that she wouldn't ask any more questions. It only hurts this much right now, one day, it would go away.
It won't last. This feeling in your chest that feels like you would have to spend a lifetime getting over him won't last forever.
