𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ; you take interest in the class’ resident art history, seemingly cold, prince boy huang renjun after you find him rushing to the rooftop with a telescope.
huang renjun x reader
so everyone knows Huang Renjun as the resident “yeah i love art history so i’m better than you but i won’t say that out loud bc i’m at least that decent” kid in school
none the less, he’s pretty popular ? whether that be due to the fact he’s nothing short of talented, or maybe bc he’s one of the prettiest boys in school, or bc even his signature “i don’t care” style is alluring
some girls even have this group,, rather club is the better word to describe it,, for renjun and know that more than anything, you’ll find him either : on the rooftop of the tallest building in school- or with lee jeno on the basketball court
of course renjun isn’t actually playing tho, he’s just fooling around to piss off his basketball captain best friend
but anyways there was this one night where you had to stay back at school ‘til late with your study group
because honestly,, you guys don’t do much studying in the library
and that’d landed you a detention and having to clean the art teacher’s 20982475 easels for some reason
and afterwards, right after you come out of the classroom’s door, The Huang Renjun bumps into you
and he drops the ???? what is this a telescope stand ??/?/?? on your shin, gets up and mumbles an insincere sorry before blasting to the stairs that lead to the rooftop
even though you’re clenching your shin like it’s the worst pain you’ve felt in all your years of living- you find that he must’ve dropped a part of the stand before he zoomed away
so being the goOd person you are, you cautiously walk up the stairs (bc of that stinging pain in your shin) and out onto the rooftop with the piece of stand in your hand
your eyes spot a frustrated renjun trying to set up his telescope in the cold saying “where’d it go, where’d it go?!”
and its not until you get a little closer that you see he’s even searching under the blanket and pillows he has set up, even into the bag of snacks he has prepared to his side
when he turns around he’s met with a limping you and the piece he’s missing in your hands,, which is why he hurls himself at the speed of lightening towards you and lunges for the lost piece
but you swipe your hand away before he can get to it and he looks at you with a “excuse me? are you actually doing this right now?”
and you see the “listen we both don’t care for each other so skip the small talk and let me do what i need to do” on his face but it doesn’t stop you from asking him what he’s doing
“are you that air-headed? i’m obviously setting up a telescope” he replies, super arrogantly
“okay yeah no shit sherlock, but why” you snarked back, simply over renjun’s bad attitude since he literally dropped his stuff on you so,, it was his fault really
“listen, i’m absolutely POSITIVE there’s not a person here who doesn’t know i like to come up and look at the stars”
and then you’re taken aback bc,, you actually didn’t know the reason he ever came up to the roof all the time- but honestly, you weren’t ever curious,, until now
“that’s kind of cute” you laugh, swinging the piece in your hand so you know you have his attention
“cute? it’s everything but cute, actually. you won’t be saying that it’s ‘cute’ when i become famous for painting and capturing the first real ufo and the aliens with it”........................... is this kid serious
you really can’t find even a hint of humor in his frame nor his eyes and that’s when you burst into laughter
“aliens?? ufos?? i- oh my god hold on- i can’t stop myself from laughing holy shit”
he just looks at you like your the dumbest person he’s ever seen and scoffs, “yeah, alright” and he takes the piece from your hand and completes his stand
even though you’re starting to come off that hysterical laugh of yours, he doesn’t give you a second thought and you just watch him watching the night sky and writing in his notebook too
“not that you know me, which i expect you don’t, but ask any one around; i’m one of the most stubborn people and i happen to be adamant about all this sci-fi stuff being strictly fictional”
he turns and furrows his eyebrows at you and to your surprise he takes your wrist in attempt to drag you to the blanket but you wince in pain from your shin still hurting
how does it STILL hurt this much?
and after a second you look up and see worry in renjun’s eyes as he finally realizes that that bump may have hurt you a whole lot more than it hurt him
“maybe i’m kind of sorry about that”
“yeah? maybe you should look where you’re going” then he lets go of your wrist to fetch something
and he comes back to wrap your now swollen wow-how-did-you-not-see-that-before shin saying “i don’t think i’m the only one who needs that advice” and somehow you just know that renjun isn’t as cold as some people make him out to be,, he may be even nicer than you
and that’s that,, he makes you look through the telescope a couple of times and always says the same thing along the lines of “well if we exist here like this, what says that any other foreign life isn’t out there when the sky we see right now is already this vast”
and for the first time you really really take time to think about how big just the portion of the sky you two are seeing can be that big and how the universe and it’s galaxies and maybe even several dimensions are even bigger than you can fathom
maybe it’s the way you feel small with renjun and his big beliefs and the way he wrapped you in the extra blanket he had (bc you were shivering and he said it was “getting in the way of my scientific break-throughs”) but you close your eyes and take the time to really feel everything around you
the air, the blanket, the sounds of a school at night, even the pain in your shin which you could care less about and after a while you feel like someone is watching you and there you see it
renjun looking at you instead of the stars and you go “why aren’t you looking at the stars, huh?”
and without hesitation he just goes “well right now you seem like the brightest star” and it takes all you have to not let the blush on your face become evident
so you look away and reach for a snack before you do something to him you know you’ll regret
but still, before you place the chip in your mouth, you look at renjun again for some sign of “just kidding you’re ugly” but instead,,,,, he kisses your cheek
and you freeze and accidentally crush the chip in your fingers and well now it’s the hardest it’s ever been to hide your blush, so you just get up, nod a little at renjun and mumble a “thanks, good night” and head for the door
you can feel renjun’s eyes on you as you leave and he’s just internally fighting with himself because oh GOD why did he just do that??? it doesn’t matter that he’s popular and good looking he just can’t believe he kissed his crush’s cheek like he had no control over his own body
and his crush?? oh-so-surprisingly he’s actually had a crush on you ever since some kid in his class said that there was a girl who was completely and utterly against aliens and all that being real
so after he’d learned who your were and stole glances at you from time to time, he concluded that maybe you were the cutest, stubborn person he’d ever found-
and as events go, he devised a plan to set up some type of picnic on the rooftop and prove to you that ufo’s aren’t as out of this world as they seemed to you
of course he didn’t expect to hurt your shin in the process but he just had to keep that nonchalant image of his up even if it was eating him inside
and through the night, he just couldn’t keep himself from calling you a star and giving you a little peck on the cheek, because the way you were then was just too precious in his eyes
so screw that whole plan he had of you becoming interested in him since you probably think he’s some weird touch-starved pervert of an art history student
but you actually lay in your bed thinking about that whole exchange and smile a little to yourself before falling asleep to the thoughts of what would happen to you two the next day
(idol) jaemin as your boyf because he’s the only one doing it to my soul and it’s true. this is for you, i know you’re in your “i actually love The Na Jaemin” hours
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 ;
ALL FLUFF AND ALL JAEMIN (.. maybe there’s one point of some ‘tension’,,) bc you can never get enough of this boy
na jaemin x (fem)reader
we all know jaemin as this light-hearted, flirtatious pretty boy which is no lie!
but he’s also severely kind and loving
so imagine,, volunteering with him and having your relationship a secret?!
like you guys are out in the kids section of the library and he’s reading a storybook about a prince and his princess to them and when he says, “even if the princess was an ordinary girl, the prince wouldn’t fall for anyone else” and he just keeps eye contact with you
and you try not to make the fact you’re in love with all that he does so obvious so you tease him with, “i’m just ordinary?”
and he replies with a, “you’re everything but” and slips a small peck on your lips before anyone can catch on about the distance and tension between you two
but he has to leave to play a song for the kids and you go to arrange all the books and materials in the room because you’re genuinely here to do good, not just to be mesmerized by your secret famous boyfriend
and while he’s smiling and playing, jaemin can tell that you’re not paying much attention to him so after the song is over, he makes a little paper airplane and ‘accidentally’ sends it your way
annoyed by his intense clinginess in public, you open the paper plane to find a little note scribbled messily that read, “look at me :(”
so you smile and giggle to yourself by how cute he is and how much he needs your attention and when you look over your met with some girl volunteer clearly trying to get at him,
and you can’t lie, it kind of left you feeling hurt and jealous
which sucks because when you leave and are in the car, you can’t help but think about the way he smiled and helped and laughed with the other girl bc honest to god she looked so pretty and kind and everything you lacked
and you know that jaemin chose you and he’s an idol so of course he’s going to be polite, he’s na jaemin!
but you’re just like any girl and he could leave you for just about anyone else he finds an interest in and you can’t help to stop the loose frown that overcomes your original, bright expression
and jaemin, being all head over heels for you- and yknow, your boyfriend- notices and asks what’s up
and before you can even finish telling him that you’re nowhere near what he deserves, he shushes you and leans your head onto his shoulder and tightens the embrace he has on you, with one arm around your shoulders and the other around your waist
he would kiss your head and brush your hair from time to time before saying, “i love you, and only you. i really am in love with everything that you are and i’m sorry you had any doubts about that love for even a second”
so of course that feeling of not being wanted and not being enough for jaemin is washed away and you snuggle into his neck and fall asleep with his warmth never leaving you the rest of the ride
also, going on dates and hang outs with him PLUS ‘00 line? nothing but the best fun!
sometimes you get to video them for the youtube channel vlogs and you’ve never been the happiest
the way they all give you second hand embarrassment by talking to the camera and doing aegyo or trying to be flirty with the lens,, straight up hiLARIOUS!
but you’re the one that gets to experience it all with them and especially jaemin
the one who gets to be there with them and know which clips were cut out and about how they slip up on camera a lot more than you would guess
plus you get to hear them admitting that it does get hard and that having to be under surveillance 24/7 and all the work is really one of the toughest things about being an idol
and you’re glad. you’re happy they trust you enough to talk, enough to let you see what others can’t really see that clearly, and enough to let you date jaemin despite the downsides of a relationship
and when you all go for boba in the least public part of the store and in low key disguises, you get to hold jaemin’s hand and call him your love
to which jeno, renjun, and haechan roll their eyes to and become over-dramatic, renjun acting like he just choked on a tapioca pearl because it’s too much pda
but this is it. this is one of the only times you get to be with jaemin and even though you want to be a little more on the down low about it,
jaemin will have none of that and go all out to show his love for you in front of the boys, because, when else will he have the chance to show you off?
so him and his bare face (which you’re actually in love with) drag you to flower shops, food stalls, cute plushie stores, and present you with countless (low-key) couple shirts, cases, keychains, and bracelets
it’s all his money being spent which you feel bad for so you tell him that you’ll pay for the next one, but he always stops you because he says he likes the thought of buying you something that reminds you of him since you guys can’t always be together the way he wants
there’s also times when jeno and hyuck use you to prank jaemin and get him all stirred up, which you agree to because it’s not like you hate the way he gets worked up over you
so when you guys are in prank mode, you’ll only pay attention and laugh with hyuck and/or jeno with jaemin right beside you
maybe even playfully push jeno’s arm or give haechan a high-five that turns into holding hands for a second before letting go to seem like it’s not much
but everyone can tell that jaemin can’t stand it because his once smiling face and loving eyes are now glaring at haechan and shooting daggers at jeno constantly, not even trying to hide it
and so he pulls you impossibly closer into his side and plays with your hands on the table in front of the two just so they know
and you’re still trying to play the prank, acting like you’re unfazed and like it’s nothing,
but you can feel the heat rising to your ears as he places his head into the side of your neck, trying to look over at the phone in your hand and you turn his direction to tell him to stop being so nosy
and now you’re extremely close, his head just a little lower than yours, your eyes wide and suddenly the weight of his arms are more evident than before with him flicking his eyes up from your lips to your own
and you take in that handsome face of his right before you think of doing something sasaengs would kill you for
until you hear a groan from jeno and a fake barfing noise from renjun
which prompts you to turn your head away from that captivating lover that is your boyfriend and cough it off
but in the side of your eye you catch jaemin with a smirk, still looking at you
and when he sees that you’re eyeing him he winks and smooches the air before looking at the boys and arguing with them because they’re always ruining his moment
besides with the boys, you and jaemin have gone out together alone too (but a manager is always hiding in the bushes somewhere,,)
and you guys share airpods, sharing each other’s current favorite songs and take walks in your neighborhood park since it’s a bit smaller and empty than most
and on your walks it isn’t unusual to have some elderly women compliment you on getting such a good looking boyfriend and swooning over him because he seems like such a “kind young man, i think i saw you on my granddaughters phone ?!”
they all pat his face and tell him that “if she’s a good one, you better not be using your good looks for bad reasons” which he assures them he isn’t and gives them that warm smile of his
and on the occasional days you’re allowed to watch them practice you find your eyes on jaemin and jaemin only, thinking to yourself how it’s possible to be so enchanted by him, how is it that he is the only one that can make you feel the way you do
after the practice is over he goes straight to you who’s sitting patiently on the couch and you have to nag at him yet again for not drinking water first
but in the times you think about your relationship with jaemin, you’re awfully thankful that you have perfection, and perfection is him
not literally perfection because the fact you two have to be secret and there are so many things that keep you from truly living out your love sort of ruin what you really want, but it’s all worth it when you feel your hand in his
and when you see those good morning and good night texts, and get to feel the best hugs in the world, and most of all, that tired yet satisfied face he has when he comes to you in the dressing room after a big show or practice
because you know it’s one of the expressions that only you get to see and only jaemin can have because there’s no one else like him
only one na jaemin, and he’s yours
and you would keep it a secret, even keep it only between you two- you would do anything if it meant this happiness and love you felt for each other would never go away
a / n : i just KNOW that na jaemin has the ability to love and adore someone like no one else can when he’s in love (i feel it in my bOnes,,) and this probably isn’t a quarter of what him in love would look like but it’s something
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ; zhong chenle just wanted to find the perfect nickname for you.
part of @hwangdol and i’s hs!dream au >:))
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 ; highschool!chenle au / childhood-friend!chenle / ft. hs!yukhei / fluffy / lw angsty
warning ; small mention of depression / cutting , (some) swearing / explicit langauge
zhong chenle x (fem)reader
you and chenle have been friends ever since you were both 12 and miraculously transferred to the same school at the same time
at that time, small chenle and you understood it’d be easier to befriend each other rather than trying to squeeze into the already made class cliques
since then, you and chenle happened to experience everything together-
the first crushes, failures, broken bones, embarrassing class reports, school field trips (which surprised you b/c,, what kind of kids go on their first field trip in the eighth grade)
and as you got older, first mental breakdowns, bad relationships/friendships, and bad fights; whether they were with each other, or against other people
chenle never took you as the soft girl, you wouldn’t hesitate to kick the balls of those big-headed bullies, chenle was more scared for them than himself
you see and meet some upperclassmen that he somehow had the ability to befriend
some characters like the stoner-boy!haechan , playboy!jaemin (both by my bby @hwangdol ), and art-hoe!renjun
it’s inevitable that you two change somewhat over the years, but the one thing that never changed since the very first day you met was how chenle wanted to find you the perfect nickname
like this boy is just so set on finding something great to call you instead of your actual mf name????
the first week alone of knowing him gave you about 20 nicknames that we’re all passed up and forgotten b/c he says they just don’t capture what he’s trying to say about you
so every year, every month, every week, every day is spent with him casually tossing all kinds of names at you
from being names like “maybe i’ll call you chun-li, how about it chun-li?”
to the most random things like, “so how’s it going, flipstick?” , “my mom said you should come over for dinner tomorrow if you’re free, cheeseball” or “yes! i got a better score than you, small-hands”
and for some reason chenle had this kind of infatuation with your hands b/c god knows why? they weren’t even especially small or pretty either but he would always mention or inspect your hand at least once a day
when he first held and looked at your hands, your twelve year old little heart may have thumped and pulled away
but by the time you two are 14, it didn’t phase you in the slightest, it’s just hands
in the days past he would hold your hand out in front of him, and you’d continue to do whatever you were doing b/c it was no longer unusual
it wasn’t ever odd to feel chenle holding your palm, with his eyes just looking so lovingly at the way your fingers would fold whenever you lost that game you were playing on your phone
he would casually play with your fingers and maybe rub your hand with his thumb b/c he was a naturally touchy person
at times it served a good purpose as it helped you know which girls were genuinely talking to you for you and not for chenle, and it drove away strange men when you two would go out
and he happened to want to see your hand again
but sometimes it would take a turn for the worse and he’d find that you reached that low you hadn’t in two years, that low where you found it fitting to hurt yourself
on gOd, how much seeing chenle’s expression when he found out you hurt part of yourself gave you much more emotion and pain than that slit on your wrist
so you held it in most times, sometimes for chenle’s sake and sometimes b/c chenle gave you reasons not to
other times, you’re thankful he treats you like he would any other day b/c getting into it would definitely hurt more than the movie he planned to take you to
since he knows the two of you have been waiting for the release date for the longest time
however, that indifferent, friendly feeling you had with him began to wear down once the third year of high school came by
it wasn’t a special day, no
but chenle came in with new hair, a slightly messed up uniform, a basketball held between his side and his arm, and this more mature look to him that you never payed too much attention to
and you have to admit, the thoughts of chenle and you being more than you are now were growing each time you saw him again
obviously you keep that on the down-low though, there’s only so many friendships to result in a happy relationship versus the amount that are just kept one-sided and unnatural after confessing
and today, you are once again thinking about chenle as more than just your friend
thinking about how it would feel to be together
how being in his arms would feel, how holding his hand in that way would be
the warmth of him all around you, knowing you’re a big part of the reason he’s smiling, running your hands through his hair,
doing silly things like trying to bake a cake? or trying to toss those tiny marshmallows into his mouth?
having the ability to tell him that he’s your sunshine over and over again?
you, without a doubt, know that being with chenle in that way would be one of the best parts of your youth
but you can’t bring yourself to do anything because, what if that feeling goes only one way?
what if the only reason chenle keeps you by his side is because he knows you won’t be phased by his constant clinginess, because he knows you won’t fall for him and stay as his friend without wanting more?
there are countless girls who are obsessed with him and his other group of friends, that’s why that group of boys he’s a part of are known as the “dreamies”
and you aren’t the only girl chenle finds time with either,
sometimes you have to keep yourself from wanting to make plans b/c you hear he’s already made some to go do pranks with his other friend-that-is-a-girl (aka y/n in jisung’s au!)
but when you hear chenle constantly coming up with nicknames for you, you can’t stop yourself from feeling that something
the something in your heart that won’t stop and you admit to yourself that you like chenle
you like the zhong chenle that you knew when you were 12 and you like the zhong chenle that you know now
which hurts so much because after coming to this conclusion, you see how significant the power he has on you is
he has the power to make you sad one second after you were happy, make you happy when you were frustrated just a second before, to make the butterflies in your stomach wild, and even the power to make your breath hitch in his presence
it really doesn’t help your situation when his recent nicknames have become a little more cute and loving than before
just yesterday it had been, “what’s up, buttercup” and he continued with that one until after dinner when you face-timed him for homework help and he says, “you’ve come to the right person, honey bun”
all of it made you cringe just as much as it made you all giddy inside and you internally swear by how much it affects you
“something wrong, ms. casanova?” and his eyes show real concern for the friend that you are and when you look into them through the screen, you know you don’t want to fall any longer into the angelic boy
you are fully aware of how off and silent you’re being, but you can’t stop feeling like it’s wrong for you to like him this way
so you take it into your own hands to stop before you’re in too deep
starting with asking him to put the pet names to rest
“chenle, can you stop?” you pause, “please?”
and he goes silent
his heart aches but he doesn’t let you see, all he does is say, “stop what? we can study more at lunch if that’s what you want, care-bear” and he smiles, trying to comfort you because he senses the way your tone got lower and softer
“no chenle, that’s not what i’m talking about!” you sigh, knowing that he’s intentionally dodging what you mean, “i just- i don’t want the nicknames anymore lele, i’m sorry”
as you explain, you look at your hands and twirl your fingers, not being able to look him in the face- and you’re right to want to avoid his look
because once you peer back up to that face on the screen, he has tears in his eyes and he’s trying hard to find some sort of regret in yours
but he can’t see any because you know what you want for the two of you and you are certain that doing this sooner will stop you from wanting more
“chenle, listen-
and the video call is over and a heartbeat later you get a text from him
“sorry, y/n. good night.”
you burst into tears yourself- full on sobbing
you didn’t realize how dark you’d feel hearing chenle call you by your real name even through a text
you knew it would make chenle sad if you told him to stop but you never imagined to see that pain in his eyes
you cry for him for the longest time ; your chest taking in big gulps of air before letting it out in a shaky breath and it takes longer than you’d like to stop your upper body from trembling
and you fall asleep with a heavy heart, pillow soaked with the feelings you had pent up in you
but the next morning comes and you’re not ready to face chenle any time soon and thank the lord that instead of p.e. with chenle, you have study hall
so you keep yourself in the library, in the math/science section b/c, let’s be honest, it’s the least popular and the least crowded
while trying to distract yourself from all of chenle, you take out your phone and earbuds to watch your favorite anime
but that shady website just has to give you some kind of hentai pop-up before you even plug the headphones in
which leaves you wide-eyed and panicked, doing your best to muffle the sound and plug the wire in as fast as you can
then you hear a chuckle from behind you and you turn around to meet wong yukhei, or lucas, the kid who only shows up to his homeroom and p.e. class- skipping all the other periods
and you freak out because this kid’s known for never holding his words back and so you get up out of your seat and walk over to sit next to him
“i’m not doing what you think i am” you say, not looking his way
“i never said you were doing anything” he replies, focus still on his phone
“oh come on, you laughed right after that um, noise went off and i was having a heart attack”
and then you turn his direction and can’t believe that you actually have to shift your gaze upwards because of how tall this kid is
“oh? i was laughing at this meme”
and he motions for you to look at his phone, so you do. and you lean over the arms of the chair to see his phone and chuckle at the fact it’s literally just some shrek shitpost
he looks down at you at smiles, oh what- what was that
perhaps this is what you needed to get over your feelings for chenle
you needed another person that had no relation to him, needed to be around someone who didn’t know you
someone you could rebuild yourself as the real you with, not worrying about how you’d fit with chenle
“stop staring at my eyes you weirdo, it’s just a meme” he says and shoves you back onto your own chair
so you’ve decided.
“lucas, you wanna be friends?”
“please don’t tell me you’re trying to get dicked down or something” he rolls his eyes
“what? bOy- no i’m not trying that. i just think you’re the perfect person for me to be around until i get over myself” you say, making sure to emphasize that you’re even grossed out he thinks you want him
“okay, go ahead. i cant stop you”
“before you answer, i know how weird this is but- wait, for real? that easy?”
“dude, i couldn’t care less. you wanna skip last period? get some food?” he asks
now he’s standing up and dusting his pants off from snack crumbs and then holds his hand out in front of you
you nod and take his hand before he yanks his out of your hold
“um, i was asking for you to get my charger for me..”
“bitchass you should have said so, i thought you were being soft lucas”
even if you’re embarrassed, you reach and unplug his charger then hand it to him, rolling your eyes in the process (but really there’s a faint blush on your face)
“you’re kinda dumb for that, and my name’s yukhei”
“i thought you went by lucas?” you say, curious as to why he’d want for you to call him his given name
“nah. i’ll let you call me yukhei. consider it the highest blessing you’ve ever been given”
a month and some has passed since the night of your last call with chenle
but naturally, the pain of losing the friendship you had with chenle was still evident
just weeks before, it’d be heart-wrenching to just know you had to see him,
but now you can make eye contact and smile a little his way
it wasn’t your willpower alone though,
you admit that having yukhei by your side and him just giving you an outside perspective on the whole situation opened your eyes
of course he would call you dumb and stupid sometimes when you tell him about why you fell for chenle in the first place
but that one response he had in the macaron place stuck with you and he held a good point
“honestly, y/n, i may be dumb but you shouldn’t have beaten yourself up fro just having feelings. i mean, if you really, truly, like chenle, why did that happen so suddenly? what if you’re just in love with the things he did and not really him and you let yourself fall. i’m sorry if i go over the line, but you were going through, a time. maybe you just wanted to feel something”
that day it didn’t settle so right with you to agree with all that he said
you didn’t want to let the feelings you had for chenle seem so superficial and due to the fact you knew each other for the longest time, but he was right
you thought about how if it were yukhei in chenle’s place, you’d probably let yourself fall for him too.
it wasn’t chenle that your heart leaped for, it was just the things he did?
specifically just the two things he did : the nicknames and the hand-holding
and to prove your theory, you and yukhei made an agreement where he would also hold your hands and call you nicknames, which started two weeks ago
“yup, that’s it. we’ve got ‘em boys. i can’t believe how much i just like hand-holding and nicknames. wong yukhei, i like you” you tease him
truthfully this particular parlor was a spot you and chenle would frequent
but yukhei said he would create memories of it that didn’t have chenle, so here you two are
“oh please, y/n. you know how i actually feel about you. you can’t just say that, i know you like those two things, not me” he says and goes back to shoving ice cream down his throat
yes- lucas had confessed to you
three days after you started the whole ‘experiment’, in fact
something about how his conscience wouldn’t let him treat you that way without you knowing how he really felt
but he didn’t let you give him an answer, he just told you how he felt and went on with it
you kind of felt bad for him, he was into you and didn’t know where you stood in all of this
but he kept on helping you in hopes of your feelings to lean themselves in his favor
yet you couldn’t quite place where you felt for yukhei
for sure there were times where you might have wanted to even kiss him, but there were also times where you couldn’t imagine being his girlfriend because, man you two we’re just too close of friends for it to change
and maybe this is the way chenle would feel if you had told him the way you really felt
so after some deep contemplating, you decide that the next time you have the opportunity to talk to chenle alone presents itself, you’ll tell him why you allowed things to be the way they are now
you just didn’t know it’d happen so fast and that it would be in the ice cream parlor you and yukhei were in
“y/n? lucas?” chenle looks at you and yukhei who are alone and sitting across from one another
“oh, chenle. hey”
“sooo are you guys a thing now or..? because if you are i can’t believe you never told me” chenle asks you, pretending he doesn’t have a problem with it
‘i can’t believe you never told me’? he’s the one who never tried to spark a conversation after the whole incident anyways
“no chenle, we’re not dating” you say sharply, only those few words in response
“ahem. i think i remember y/n wanting to say something to you, chenle. maybe i’ll go and order some crepes for a really long time” yukhei says and slips out of the booth towards chenle, giving the boy’s shoulder a pat before proceeding to flirt with the cashier for snacks
“so, how are you darli-” he stops himself, “y/n”
and the same smile that you loved is on his face, but you can hear the sadness behind his voice and you crumble once again
“i’m... i’m doing the same as always.
and listen chenle,
i’m sorry for falling off with you after the whole nickname thing. the truth is that i, um, i had feelings for you. i wanted us to be more than what we were but i was afraid of rejection. well, look at us now, you didn’t have to reject me and i’ve already made us like this. i don’t know why i would give up all that we have, and yukhei, i mean lucas- he’s been nothing but kind when i tried to get over you and-”
“y/n. i miss you” chenle interrupts
“i- i miss you too lele”
then chenle takes your hand in his, a gesture you ever thought you’d miss
seeing him like this again, him saying he misses you; were you really only in love with the two things or did you love chenle?
“you have no idea how long i’ve waited for you to say you have feelings for me. you thought i’d reject you? baby come on, you’re the only girl i’ve had my eyes on for the longest time.
even the first day i held your hand when we were 12. i couldn’t believe you thought that was just a friendly gesture” he laughs, “i mean of course we were young, but really? i knew you were naive and i knew how you were hiding your feelings but i never gave up, peanut. especially when other boys would try to get at you, i didn’t suddenly want to see your hands, i was telling them that you’re mine. i even told my friends how much i missed you.
there was this one point where i thought, maybe we are better off as friends, it doesn’t hurt, yknow? but then my older friend mark? you remember mark, right? he set me straight and told me that i did, actually, have feelings for you after all these years. you know the nicknames? i think i have the perfect one. so y/n, can i,,, can i call you my everything now?”
“chenle,” you start, “i said i had feelings for you.”
and it’s true.
you see the smile he has turn both confused and gloomy
maybe the you a month ago would have swooned into his arms and fell even more in love with his confession,
but time played with the both of you and you realize that you don’t feel the same way despite him pouring his feelings in front of you
you’ve come to terms that, yes, you were in love with zhong chenle, not just what he did
but that’s all in the past ; you had loved chenle, you just don’t the same way now
“is it because of lucas? y/n you’re gonna break what we have for him?”
chenle raises his voice at you and his eyes become a mix of anger and dejection
taken aback by his tone and the fact he thinks you would ever break the relationship you two have built over a boy begins to make your blood boil
“lucas? no chenle, this isn’t about lucas! and for your information, he’s not even a bad kid? i don’t even talk about how your best friends with upperclassmen who are either : 1, high or 2, breaking hearts! chenle, the reason why i didn’t say anything is because i valued what we shared more than what i wanted alone! and if you already knew i was trying to avoid the way i felt then why did you wait so long to do something? i can’t believe the nerve you have to blame this on someone other than yourself? sure it may not be entirely on you, but you’re literally acting like you’ve done nothing wrong! chenle, you were basically toying with my emotions.
you knew how much i loved you and how much it was hurting me. you know so much about me, hell, you have a better perspective of myself than i do! you don’t know how much my heart ached when you would drop our plans for your other friends, have no idea how heartbroken i became when i finally admitted to myself that i liked you. all you did was watch me go through it, not saying a word, not even trying to talk to me about it in person either! let’s be honest, you never thought of me that way until you realized i was gone.”
you take a second to breathe.
“i can’t do this chenle, i can’t. if you have anything more to say then shoot me a text because otherwise? i’m not taking any of your ‘but i love you’ shit.” you vent
and then you take your stuff and move out of the booth towards yukhei
“can we please go, yukhei?”
he sees the tears forming in your eyes and he takes your hands
“you don’t even have to ask. i got you y/n”
then he pulls you through the now crowded ice cream parlor and your head is down, looking at the hold yukhei has on your hands
you and yukhei reach the park near his house after how long of walking hand in hand and sit in silence on the swings
and once you feel stable again you perk up and say
“i guess i really did make new memories in that parlor”
and yukhei looks at you, stopping his motions
“i’m sorry it still had chenle in it”
and his voice sounds defeated, like he failed you
“hey, yukhei, don’t be so sulky” you smile at him, “i don’t want to feel like i have nothing anymore just because i dont have chenle, ya know? at least i have some calming memories in this park now, even if it’s with you.”
highschool!jisung / social media / fluff / slight angst / minimal explicit language
summary ;
you are far from the classic ‘graceful’ image ballet students tend to uphold due to the tricks and shenanigans you and your best friend chenle are always inevitably up to. because of this, tumblr writer park jisung just can’t stop himself from writing all of it down — which boosts his following after every update.
updates every wednesday | mult. chaptered | next
STARTED 071719 —
(partially) in collab with my favorite 'english tutor' @hwangdol for a highschool!dream alternate universe <3
