⚠️TW/warning⚠️: this fanfic has mentions of feeling unwanted,feeling unloved,death,murder, self insert death,blood, mention of suicide, insecurities you may find harming, established personality, spoilers for Danganronpa 2.
I hope you read the trigger warnings. Let's begain with the fanfic.
You were never like your classmates. You were quiet,introverted,shy, ect. But you never wanted to be. You wanted to be proud and positive like Ibuki, Stern but admirable as Peko and Byakuya, Likable like Hajime, Shy and introverted but still get acknowledged like Mikan. Not be afraid to speak on something you saw wrong like Mahiru, pretty and strong like Akane, not scared to be weird but still have a good time being weird like Gundham. But you weren't. You were never any of those things. Even as a child, you weren't. You grew up feeling unloved, unwanted. Like you didn't even exist at all. You still feel that way. But you wish you didn't. You've thought of just leaving the world because now one even knew who you were. Why would they care? Everyday you think of yourself as selfish for wanting to be acknowledged. Loved. Wanted. But that didn't come. Now your in the trial room after murdering a classmate who murdered another. You weren't much help in the trial as no one ever knew you were there. You stood and watched as your friends were dying. Then finally you get sick. Your stuck in the hospital just being sick. Mikan was to busy with the rest to care for you.
When you see Mikan and Ibuki going to the music venue you follow them. Not knowing what was going to happen. You witness Ibuki being strangled and in the heat of the moment, you said something you didn't think you were capable of. "Mikan! Stop." Mikan stops what she's doing and looks over to you. You can see the despair in her eyes. She herself was sick just as you were. "Oh dear. Who are you? I've never seen you here" she laughed at you. She then dropped Ibuki's body and ran twords you with a box cutter she pulled out of her apron. You screamed but no one ever heard you.
Looking back to that memory you came to realized you would die as a unwanted, unloved, unknowledgeable person. And that made you sadder then the thought of dying did. As you bleed out. You knew nobody would care. You looked to see Ibuki still hanging in the spot she was when Mikan stabbed you and hung her up over the stage.
You wished that in your final moments you could've made an impression on at least somebody but that would never happen. You knew nobody would feel pity on your lifeless body. Why would they. They don't know you. Mikan didn't even know who you were. You died with a tear stained face knowing that nobody cared for you and nobody would.
Hey guys. Sorry for the very angsty fanfic. If I need to add anymore Trigger Warnings let me know. If your feeling like this in anyway, don't be afraid to talk to someone. Nobody deserves to feel that way. Suicide may seem like a way out but it can impact so many people. So please think about talking to someone and getting the help you need and deserve.
-Sayaka
(sprite above is not mine. It's very pretty though)
“I SHOULD HATE YOU!” A short but loud sob was torn out of the skeleton, all weakness is shown- but only he knew it.
Why is he telling him this? He should've kept it under wraps, he should've kept it to himself. He should've kept it until they both died… but he didn’t. He couldn’t bare moving on, it hurt not being able to say but wanting to. It hurt with every bit of his being every time he was near the other, every time he saw the other, every time he thought of the other, every time he fought with the other.
Why did this hurt so much?!
“...b-but… I don’t- I should, but I can’t. I don’t want to hate you, I know I should! I did it for years- and then… those feelings came back.” A heavy sob started to let itself be known, but it was suppressed and only allowed to be a shallow but pain filled sigh. Why was he explaining?
His body hurt, it always hurt. However, this was a new pain. More agonizing than he’d ever felt.
Torn apart between two decisions and the possibilities behind each. Continue and let his heart out for ReaperTale’s Gods know what to happen, or stay quiet and let the other respond to what he’s been told already?
“I can’t hate you… I care. I don’t know how or why… but I do, and it hurts.” Nightmare waited for a minute to gain his breathing back and look his equal in the face, “It hurts not knowing what to do, how to stop everything I’ve done- to get your trust again- to go back to normal- to confront you…”
Why did he do this in front of everyone?! At least they didn’t intervene, they just stood there. Jaws practically hitting the floor, at least he thought that’s what was happening. He didn’t dare look back at his team, he was weak again… not physically but emotionally. He was their Boss, a king, the tuffest guy around.
Now he was a weak broken child, not even tough- not anything. Just ready to be discarded and left to rot on the streets, kicked out of his own home.
“Nightmare…” His soft gentle voice, the one that drove him crazy- the one he loved. The one he hoped he would hear more, just not the words he didn’t want.
Stranded in limbo, loved back or left to die? Feeling the highest hopefull heaven and lowest fearful hell, he had nothing left. All relied on his balance- all was being put in Dream’s care.
He hadn’t been aware of it but he was sitting on his knee’s, he had been the whole time. As soon as the first loud sobs came out his knee’s buckled and fell down, definitely bruising but not hurting their owner as he was numb to it.
He was numb to the shocked faces around him, he was numb to all the voices around him, he was numb to Ink and Blue looking at Dream curiously, he was numb to Error’s glitching as he tried to hug the other for comfort. He was numb to everything except his own emotions, thoughts, and Dream.
“I should Care for you…” He replied quietly, loud enough to be carried to Nightmare but not loud enough for anyone else to hear. His tone was careful, but then came down on his yin. Yang wasn’t as peaceful as the white was symbolized to be, “But I don’t… I know why, and I know how… and I hate you…
“I hate knowing what to do, I hate what you’ve done, I hate how you had my trust, I hate how you talk as if nothing has happened and confront me… I hate how you blocked me out when I tried to help, and it hurt. It doesn’t anymore, I cared for you for years- and then these feelings first appeared. I should care- I did care, but now… now I hate you.”
With a quick pop, the breaker and his trio left.
He left him to die; left to drown in his wave of pain. Singled out and meant to hurt him. He would rather the beautiful joyful lie than this painful tear-inducing truth.
He didn’t react when he was talked to, didn’t react when he was picked up and carried to his home, didn’t react to his friends around him, didn’t react to the comfort and hugs. Didn’t react to the food, didn’t react when his friends forcefully brought Dream back.
“Let me go- ...what the heck happened to him?” Dream pointed voice going monotone as soon as he saw Nightmare. To even sounding worried to his pale, thin, and obviously sick state in bed. Not worried about the dried tears upon the yin’s face, not worried to his eyelights gone- not shocked to see him uncorrupted.
“Dream… please just do- something! ...We’ve tried everything. We’ve even tried to force feed him… he refuses anything. It’s been a week… do something so he can live.” Error pleaded, looking directly into the other’s yellow pupils, letting go of the string’s that bound the other.
“Fine- but I’m only agreeing because if he dies I die.”
No even hastily Dream walked over to Nightmare, he was bed bound, looked as if another day and he would dust. His stomach growled below him every few minutes, pleading for the food that it could smell next to him.
Still as if in a coma, Nightmare didn’t react to the positive aura next to him, not even when it came closer and sat on the bed near him. The bed was massive, and he was set in the middle, so massive in fact, he couldn’t see Dream sitting on the edge of the bed out of his peripheral.
“Nightmare.” A reaction, eyelights back- light purple blush on his currently white cheekbone. Bright almost neon purple lights appear in his sockets, wide in surprise before shrinking in fear.
Hesitantly he turned toward the other, fearing everything. He was so hurt, how could the person he loved do that? He was numb again, numb like that week ago, only he and Dream existed in that room.
“Good, now Error, get me out of here- you’re all lucky I’m the guardian of positive feeling otherwise I would’ve dusted you already.” Dream got off the bed, hating being here every second he was near Nightmare. All about him from the disgusting aura he held to his self proclaimed title, and how he trapped his friend in stone for a hundred F-ing years.
“D-dream-” he whimpered, voice choking on tears and hoarse.
Shock filling the yellow’s eyes he looked back to the older, confusion and hatred mixed with undiscovered emotion, to complex for even a protector of emotion to describe.
The sobs came back, dry from dehydration. He didn’t even let water pass through his teeth, his depressed state was clear in wanting nothing but Dream or Death.
“Nightmare!” His team called in happiness as they shoved past Dream and practically tackled Nightmare, pilling on top of each other so they could all be close to Nightmare.
The king looked at his crew and up to where Dream was, his half was gone.
Nightmare and Dream (And DreamTale) belong to @jokublog
