#humor!

[mycoolbluublog]

trauma? i barely know a!

[thelaurenshippen]

okay, but have you guys listened to Life With LEO(h) yet? because there’s 3 episodes out and if you’re ready to fall in love with a cast of amazing characters, new ships, and an android that, if you’re anything like me, you’re going to IMMEDIATELY adopt into your heart, LISTEN NOW!!!!!

linktr.ee/lifewithleoh

[stormjay0]

eheheheheheheheheh

[ragewerthers]

Promises

Summary:  After a tough day of training some promises of dinner are made... though Victor's own promises may result in some unexpected consequences.

A/n:  This was a fic written for a submission from a lovely anon on tumblr! They asked:

"Hello, could I request 11. “You know I love ____ the most. You come in second place.” and in the space Katsudon with Victuuri, please? Thank you!"

I hope that you enjoy it my friend! 

You can also read on AO3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22377382

Enjoy! :D

Word Count: 1545

------------------------------

To say that it had been a long day at the training rink would be an understatement.  Victor could actually still feel it deep in his legs even well into the evening, so he knew that Yuuri had to be feeling it as well.  The Japanese skater was still getting used to having Yakov as a coach now that Victor had returned to the circuit, and that meant he was starting to learn just how intense training could be.  Glancing down from his spot on the sofa, Victor couldn’t stop a soft smile from spreading over his face. 

After practice he and Yuuri had gone back to their apartment, plans of making dinner and watching a movie quickly dashed as they both had all but collapsed on the sofa and hadn’t moved since.  Victor had been the first to fall, followed by his sweetheart who had cuddled up to his chest soon after.  It was a testament to just how tired the younger skater was that he hadn’t nervously asked before settling on him, not that Victor would ever deny him anything of the sort.

The smaller skater had all but crawled onto Victor and settled against his chest with a little sigh.  Now, both of them were laid out on the small sofa, Yuuri’s head resting just under Victors chin and his arms carefully tucked under his back as Victor soothed his hands along Yuuri’s spine.  They had been laying here for about twenty minutes and he knew that if he didn’t get them moving then they literally were going to get nothing done this evening.

“Yuuri,” Victor murmured softly, pressing a few gentle kisses to his hair and feeling the dark-haired skater stir slightly against him.  “Come on, Yuuri… we have to get up.  We need to get something to eat.  You promised me dinner, remember?”  His lips began to curl into a playful grin as he thought about their tired ramblings in the cab back to their apartment.  Yuuri promising to make Victor the best dinner in the whole world if he promised to carry him up the steps to their home.  This meant a wonderful home cooked meal of Katuson and Yuuri usually tried to persuade him with these offers.

Victor had chuckled and found it adorable that his poor, exhausted fiance had forgotten that they did have an elevator in the building, however… he was more than happy to agree.  They did end up using the elevator, but Victor, not one to break a promise, did scoop Yuuri up at the last minute and carry him down the hall to their front door.

“You promised to… carry me,” Yuuri mumbled around a little yawn.  “You carried me down the hall only.  Do promises mean nothing to the great Victor Nikiforov?”

Victor could hear the tired, yet teasing tone of his darling and had to bite back a chuckle.  Instead he gasped and hugged Yuuri tighter.  “What?!  Are you saying that I’m a promise breaker?!”

That got a little chuckle out of the Japanese skater who turned his head slightly to look up at his partner.  “No.  I’m saying that I thought your love for me was stronger than that.  I didn’t know I had to promise Katsudon for dinner to get you to do chivalrous things for me.”

“You know I love Katsudon the most.  You come in second place,” Victor teased, pressing a few soft kisses to Yuuri’s brow to soften the words.  “My allegiance will always be to Katsud-ehehehen!  No!  No, Yuur-hihihi!”

To be fair, he knew he shouldn’t have poked as much as he did.  But it was always funny to rile up the generally more quiet skater.  Now, he was slightly regretting that as he felt the man’s fingers wriggling against his lower sides, having slipped out from under his back.  His own arms unwrapped slightly from Yuuri as he tried to tuck them against his side to fight the horrible feeling, giggles still bubbling from his lips.

“What was that, Victor?  You would choose Katsudon over me?” Yuuri asked, quirking an eyebrow as he glanced up at his giggling darling and sneaking his fingers under his shirt to scribble at the mans lower ribs.

“Y-Yuuri!  Dohohon’t!  Gah!  Stahahap ihihit!” Victor squeaked, his hands instantly moving away from Yuuri to push at his wrists.  This only seemed to make Yuuri wake up more, the Japanese skater’s smile growing as he moved to sit up, straddling his darling’s hips as he let his fingers move to attack the Russian mans tum.

“Y-YUURIHIHI-HAHAHA!” Victor cackled, back arching off the sofa as his legs kicked behind Yuuri as he felt the spidering fingers tickling right against the sides of his stomach, a horrible weak spot of his.

“Where’s your precious Katsudon now?  Is it here to save you from your punishment of broken promises?” Yuuri teased, giggling himself as he watched the normally composed man breaking down into the most adorable laughing fit.  When his fingers would get closer to the center of his belly, Victors laugh would reach a higher pitch and little hiccups would sneak out making Yuuri smile more.  “Do you regret picking me second?”

“Nohoho-ahahaha gahahahahad!!” Victor shrieked when Yuuri’s fingers snuck down to drill into his hips.  He tried shimmying as best as he could to dislodge those evil fingers but all it seemed to do was make Yuuri tickle faster, driving Victor crazy as the ticklish feeling zipped through his body.

“What?!  You don’t regret it?!” Yuuri gasped, knowing full well his shout had been more from the tickling then an actual answer… though that wasn’t going to stop him.

Victor was going wild with laughter, trying once more to dislodge his darling as he released his hands and pushed at his chest.  Sadly that was his worst mistake yet.  As he pushed at Yuuri’s chest he left himself far too open and Yuuri took his chance.

Before Victor knew it, he felt fingers scribbling right into the ticklish hollows of his underarms… and he went wild.

“NAHAHAT THEHE-ERE!  PLEHAAHAHA!  PLEHEHEASE!  E-ETO SHCHEKOCHEHET!” Victor babbled, slipping into Russian as the tickling to his absolute death spot turned his brain to mush.  His arms were clamped to his sides, but it did nothing to stop his evil fiance from continuing his torment.  Yuuri knew just how to wriggle his fingers into such a sensitive spot to have him absolutely writhing under his touch, head thrown back in hysterical laughter.

“What?  It tickles?  I had no idea!” Yuuri teased, swirling his fingertips right into the center of Victors underarms and earning him the most hilarious sounding squeal of laughter he never thought he’d tire of.  “Tell me I’m number one!  That you’d pick me over Katsudon!”

Victor could only nod, his face flushed red as tears of mirth clung to his eyelashes.  “I CHAHAHHA-.... YOU!  YOUYOU YOUHOHOHOHO!  MERCHEHEHEY!!!” he begged, trying his best to answer before his laughter went silent, but it was difficult when your fiance was a menace and refused to give you a break.

Luckily, it was only a few more seconds before he felt the tickling stop, soft kisses being peppered across his flushed face leaving him panting and giggling.

“Thank you, Victor.  I knew you loved me most,” Yuuri murmured fondly, Victor slowly blinking open his eyes to see the way Yuuri was looking at him.  The Japanese figure skaters hair was still slightly mussed from his earlier nap, his glasses askew from where he had been laying mixed in with trying to keep Victor from breaking free.  And honestly… there was no doubt in his mind that he definitely loved this man far more than any bowl of Katsudon.

“Victor?  Victor why are you looking at me like that?” Yuuri asked softly, soothing his fingers through the silver hair he adored and rubbing the mans chest to try and help continue to calm him down.

“Just… remembering how… lucky I am,” he said still a bit breathlessly, bringing a hand up to cup his lovers cheek.

He watched as Yuuri flushed at the soft comment, smiling more when he nuzzled against his palm.

“If you want… I can go and make you that dinner, Victor.  I really don’t mind,” Yuuri promised softly, turning his head to press a little kiss to his palm.

Victor couldn’t stop a soft chuckle at that and shook his head.  “No.  Why don’t we order in?  I think we both deserve to be lazy this evening.  Sound good?” he murmured, watching as Yuuri’s smile grew and he nodded.  “Good.  Then what would you like, Yuuri?”

He watched the way Yuuri’s nose crinkled in thought, biting his lower lip to keep from chuckling at the rather adorable sight.

“Pelmeni dumplings sound good?” he offered and Victor nodded.

“You do love them, don’t you?” Victor murmured softly, soon finding a pair of warm, soft lips capturing his own.

“I do… though you will always come first, Victor,” Yuuri murmured softly, his smile warm and gentle as he nudged his nose against his partners.

Victor felt warmth bloom in his chest as he quickly wrapped his arms around his fiance, pressing another soft kiss to his lips.

“You will always come first for me too, Yuuri.  Always.”

[geraskierficrecs]

New Cops and Robbers Chapter

I just posted a new chapter for my Cop Geralt and Thief Jaskier story.  I’ll be posting more chapters to this story since the plot is developing pretty quickly now.  Also, the explicit chapter is coming (har har) soon, I promise.  

Here’s the story so far if you want to catch up:

Thieves and Riches [Complete]

Geralt is just trying to do a favor for an old friend when he finds himself tied up and shoved into a storage closet by a group of robbers. There he meets Jaskier, an enigmatic cat burglar who is a little too good at teasing a reaction of the normally stoic detective.

Unknown Caller [Complete]

The phone flared to life in his hand and began to play a loud pop song.  

‘I love myself, I want you to love me.

When I feel down, I want you above me.’

Geralt stared down at the phone in horror as it continued to play a loud, synthetic pop song.

‘I don’t want anybody else, when I think about you I touch mys--”

Before the song could continue, Geralt flipped it open and shoved it to his ear.  “Who the fuck is this?”

Beneath him, the world seemed to tilt oddly when a smooth, slightly accented voice purred in his ear,

“Hello, Geralt.  Miss me?”

A Bloody Nuisance [Complete]

All Geralt wanted was a coffee after a long night of chasing down leads for the museum robbery. Instead, he finds himself running for his life in the middle of downtown.

Good thing he's got a handsome thief following him. ______________________

Or, the Cop Geralt and Thief Jaskier no one asked for, but I definitely keep writing.

Taste the Promise on My Lips [Complete]

He walked to the railing and looked out over the city, enjoying the cool breeze against the familiar burn of whiskey in his throat. Maybe he could convince Yen to let him sneak out once she had her claws firmly set in her latest victim--

“Climb on board,” a low, sultry voice crooned from the stage, cutting through the noise of the crowd easily.

Geralt's neck popped as he whipped around and looked for the band he’d initially dismissed. He knew that voice.

“We’ll go slow and high tempo…” _______________________

At the social event of the season, Geralt finds himself face to face with the thief who has haunted his thoughts since the first time he saw him. But is there any hope for them in the wake of the dangers growing around them?

Bloodlines [WIP]

“I’m going to disappoint you,” he said softly, a note of sorrow in his tone. “But you knew that already.”

____________________

As Geralt begins to narrow his search for the criminals responsible for the robbery, his relationship with Jaskier continues to force him to choose between his search for the truth and his feelings for the thief.

[seesgood]

listen, listen: idk if you guys are ready for this conversation but zootopia is in the top 5 best disney films.

[mai-takeda]