TK wakes up from a coma but Carlos is nowhere to be found
AO3
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Disclaimer: Angsty angst angst.
If you don't like angst or hurt!TK don't read.
Also my medical knowledge is limited to Greys/The Resident/Chicago Med and some research. Please excuse any inaccuracies.
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Thank you and hope you...enjoy?
CHAPTER 1
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TK feels his body waking painfully slow. He can't move his limbs, but he can feel the numerous tubes running down his throat, his nose, seemingly every vein he owns in his arms, even his chest. He could never get used to how that made him feel no matter how many times he woke up in a hospital bed. Least he's sure it's a hospital bed, its either that or he was some mad scientist's experiment.
The panic should come, as it usually does with him, but it doesn't. He's not sure why. His head felt groggy. So groggy. It was somehow worse than when he got pistol whipped, least then he had some coherent thoughts, but right now he felt like a complete blank slate. He couldn't even talk, though that might have something to do with the tube down his throat. He’s got to move something. Let someone know he was awake. He can hear the beeping of his heart monitor, the whooshing of the machine pushing oxygen into his lungs but it’s so faint almost as if someone stuck cotton balls in his ears. He can’t even tell if anyone is here with him. God just open your eyes. He tells himself and he tries to listen, tries to force the lids open but they won’t budge. He wants to cry but he knows it’s just the medicine. Maybe his mind woke up too quickly, he was supposed to still be sedated. He pleaded with his body to wake up too.
The noise of the machines clearly connected to him becomes clearer and is that ...voices? Someone was here, someone could see him awake if he could just...
Move. Something.
Fingers. That has to be the easiest one. Or toes. They always tell you wiggle your fingers and toes.
He tries for his fingers, decides on the hand closest to where the voices are coming from. He slowly lifts his pointer, or at least he thinks he is. He still can't open his eyes to be sure. Maybe moving his finger will trigger the rest of his body to wake up.
Nothing happens except the voices become clearer. It's two people. A man and a woman. He can't make out what they're talking about. It's loud enough but the words won't come into his head.
He keeps trying for the finger. The more he does it the more obvious it has to be to them. He lifts it again, and again. The more he does the less slow the action becomes.
"Hey," The woman says a little louder than she was earlier. "Is he-?"
"No." The man cuts her off, he sounds defeated. Like he's been given hope one too many times. "His body's been doing that after the first few months."
MONTHS? Tk's brain exclaims. He's been in hospitals, hell even comas for a little bit but MONTHS?
The delayed panic starts to rear its head and it's enough to jump his heart a bit, make the noise on the monitors grow more furious. That has to alert them of something right. His fingers lift, he can feel the limbs shaking, the full hand going with each finger now.
"What about that?" The woman asks as the monitor steers from its monotone beeps.
"That's...new..." He can hear the male voice getting closer to him.
TK lifts his finger from the bed quicker now, he can feel his hand shaking.
"Is he..." the woman speaks once more.
"TK?" He hears the man's voice. It feels familiar now, so familiar but he still can't place it. God knows though if he's been in a coma for what was apparently MONTHS maybe it was just a doctor or nurse that talked to him. But he wouldn't be calling him TK... would he?
He feels a dip in the bed he lay on. "Tk?" the voice says again and Tk tries lifting his hand one more time in response. It's better than before, slower but more of a pronounced movement instead of a twitch.
"TK?" He hears again as he feels his hand being gripped. It's strong, or rather stronger than his, currently. "Son?" The voice says but still not with confidence that he was actually talking to him.
Dad.
Knowing that the man in the room was now his father he pushes even harder to wake his body up.
A noise escapes his throat despite the tube, and he feels the grip on his hand tighten. "Son? Can you hear me? It's Dad."
Not that he needed that confirmation but it's comforting nonetheless though, thankfully, not enough to quiet the monitors and he's somewhat grateful as that's the only other thing alerting them he is awake.
He can tell that his dad still wasn't sure, almost as if he's had false hope too many times. Then the worry that what if his dad doesn't believe him by his small hand movements gets to him and the monitors beep more rapidly.
"Get nurse or doctor," his dad says a little too calmly. "Something must be wrong."
Something must be wrong? His dad didn't even have the hope that it might just be TK waking up. How long was he gone?
"Do you think maybe he's waking?" the woman asks. Hopeful. Maybe she didn't know as much as his dad did.
His dad seems to ignore her as he starts calling TK's name once more. "Son? If you're there..." He hears Owen sigh. "Grip my hand?" He holds Tk's hand and shakes it a bit. It's robotic, like he's done this very thing too many times. "Come on..."
TK can tell the woman hasn't left and he wonders if the monitors weren't beeping as rapidly as he thought. His ears did seem to be deceiving him since he woke up.
"TK?" he hears, and he thinks back to his father's hand in his. Right. Grab his hand.
His mind goes back to the only limb he's managed to get moving so far. Grip his father's hand. Just grip it, TK. Even a small pulsate should be enough to satisfy his father if only he could just-
He doesn't understand he was doing it just seconds earlier. Maybe it was the angle his father forced his hand at, no longer lying flat. He pushes his brain to connect to his fingers and do what he was doing earlier. He can feel his father start to ease off the bed to pull away but TK can't have that. Just grip the hand. He tells himself again.
Then it starts to happen, he can feel the limbs once more. His hands would be shaking if they weren't held by his fathers, he can feel them tremble, the tingling sensation is back.
Just curl the fingers slightly TK, he tells himself as he tries again. Just enough to-
He hears his father give a sharp breath in.
"TK?" Owen says, now more confidently that his son can hear him. "Can you do it again? Just one more-" And he does, interrupting Owen's sentence and this time stronger. "Oh my god. TK." He hears his father's emotions caught in his throat.
"Why's he not fighting the tube?" Boy this lady was a real downer, TK could tell.
"Body is probably used to it," Owen brushes her comment aside, though that worries TK a little bit.
"TK, hey..." he can feel his dad's hand in his hair now and the worry subsides a bit. "Can you open your eyes for me?" He was too busy congratulating himself on the finger situation he didn't even think back to opening his eyes and how that would probably be an even bigger indication he was awake. Okay brain now let's work towards that. Eyes. Eyes. Even just a little slit.
"Maybe help him?" The lady offers. Jesus what'd she want his dad to do? Stick his fingers in his eyelids? He hears Owen sigh, and something tells him he was rolling his eyes at her, but he feels his dad's hands on his face now, rubbing his cheek. He mentally pushes and pushes begging his brain to once again do something for him and open his eyelids. A groan involuntarily escapes his mouth and he can feel his eye twitching.
And maybe it was that or the monitors going off more erratically, but he hears his father yell back with more urgency this time. "Get someone! A doctor or nurse!" And this time he can hear the door open and the sound of heels clicking quickly before the door closes.
"Tk, hey... hey..." His dad says gently. "Open your eyes, son. Come on." He can feel his father rubbing his thumb under his eye as way of encouraging and TK tries again. He struggles against whatever force is keeping his eyes closed, lets out another groan a bit louder because he can't very well cry out. "It's okay, it's okay." His father tells him as his thumb moves to TK's temple massaging it. He wonders if his father researched how to help someone in a coma wake up or this was just what fatherly instinct he had. He pushes one more time to open his eyelids, can feel them twitching again much like his finger until finally, finally he opens them.
And that was a mistake. Everything was too dark but too bright all at the same time and he couldn't make out the shape of anything, it was all just a blur. The thing above him, that he can safely assume is his dad, just looked like a dark blob and it frightened him a little bit.
The scary blob above him talks and he was too busy trying to get his eyes to decide if the room was too dark or too bright he forgot about listening. But he focuses on the thing that has his father's voice, can hear him saying "Oh my god" repeatedly in a sort of panic. "TK?" He can hear him crying now and before he can do anything else for his father, maybe squeeze his hand again he hears a door thrust open and rush of feet. The blob above him is pushed aside and replaced with other blobs some of which were poking and prodding at him, some pressing cold things against his skin. A bright light shines in his eyes and he flinches his eyes closed until the one shining the light pushes his eyelids open themselves. He wants to cry out. It felt so painful, so invasive.
"Reacting to light..." He hears one say. No shit, it hurts.
They say some other things. Yell out some numbers that TK can't think of what they mean despite being a paramedic. Matter of fact he can't remember any of the codes they'd use. He gives himself the benefit of the doubt he did just wake up from a coma...for as far as he knows was at least a few months. Last coma he was in the only thought he had was Carlos and comforting him.
Carlos.
He chalks it up to just his dumb luck that he didn't get his boyfriend by his bedside instead of his dad. But he shouldn't be complaining. He could've woke up alone and if his mom wasn't here his dad is the next best person he supposed. Unless she was the woman but no she wouldn't act that abrasive. She'd be all over him more than his dad was.
Wait his mom.
His mom was-
Oww
Pain in his chest interrupt his thought and movement is heard around him though he still can't make any figures out and soon his mind drifts and forgets what it was about his mom he was trying to remember. There's more pressure on his body and pain in places he wasn't aware he was able to feel again yet and he can hear himself groan out, this time louder than the others. As a reaction he shuts his eyes only for them to be prodded open once more.
He regrets this. This whole waking up thing. He prefers to be choking on the damn tube, waking up in panic like last time...or even the time before that, minus the tube. He wants to cry but his eyes won't let him and he's not sure the doctors or nurses would react anyway. He wonders where his dad was pushed aside to or just completely escorted out of the room? Maybe he should be grateful for the uncomfortable way they treated him like an experiment because it caused him to move his feet in an attempt to push himself away from the latest poke. The big word is "attempt" as he didn't get to move much but it was further proof he was indeed definitely awake and very much not liking what they were doing. It seemed to subside then, and he hears the familiar voice of his father.
"...necessary?" He was back to hearing only parts of sentences. Maybe he was overstimulated, and his brain was shutting down again.
Oh, that's a pleasant thought. Maybe if he shut his eyes for a second he'd be able to hear better but he doesn't want to risk them thinking he was gone, back in what coma he found himself in this time.
"Sorry but we weren't expecting- Might have to -" TK tries to focus but he can't. Might have to what?
"He just woke up-"
"Owen..."
First name base that feels off.
"Maybe - step outside while we-" No no don't leave me with them.
He hears his dad sigh. "How long- going to be?"
"-have - tests to run. -Need to figure out..." He can feel eyes on him. " why-, damage-, -function has or will..."
What he could get from that it didn't sound good. But being awake that has to be a start and surely his dad wont actually leave him.
He hears his father sigh. "Alright..."
Wait...
He feels his father's grip in his hand as he tries to turn his eyes towards where he thought he was since he still couldn't make out blob from blob. No...
"I'll umm..."
No
"Come back in a few hours-." He says seemingly directed to both TK and whoever else was in the room.
Few hours? No. Dad... Don't leave me. Don't go. He wishes he could open his eyes more, let his dad know how desperately he wanted him to stay but the only strength was opening them barely enough that his upper lashes no longer danced on his cheeks and they're so heavy to lift on their own.
The touch of a familiar hand on his cheek is felt again as his father tells him he'll be back later. It felt like he was talking to someone that wasn't there still. He feels a kiss on his forehead and before he can even think to tell his arms to try to reach out for him, his dad is gone.
He feels like when he was a kid left by a parent in an intimidating day care with children like him, except this was different. He was a full adult and scared and there was no one like him.
More things poke at his body as he hears whispers he can no longer make out and he realizes no one will talk to him like he's there but he is HE'S RIGHT THERE. Before panic sets in once more he feels one last pinch on his arm and his head goes foggy again or rather foggier like how it was when he first woke up. Doesn't take long before darkness envelopes him but he's not scared. He welcomes it like a comforting blanket.
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Owen leaves the hospital mechanically going through the motions. His son was awake? Or was he? He hadn't been in to see TK in weeks and the first time he does his son wakes up. Some might think it odd he decided to pick up an extra shift at the firehouse instead of staying near but that's just the way he is.
He thinks maybe he should've stayed. If TK was awake he'd want someone there. But it's not like he could do much anyway so instead he makes his way to the firehouse. If he hadn't got asked how he was or about TK's condition a million times since the incident (until one day he angrily yelled for them to stop) he's sure one of his crew members would've noticed he was off a little more than usual today. But instead they nod their heads in greeting, not even acknowledging he wasn't scheduled to be there. Marjan finally notices something more off when Owen zones off while filling his coffee for the second time and the liquid overfills the mug and starts falling to the floor.
"Everything okay, Cap?" She asks. He has a slight smile. She still uses his title even if he doesn't think he's deserving of it anymore. "I mean relatively..." She trails off. The elephant in the room that no one speaks on anymore is TK of course. TK...TK who was now awake.
Owen shakes his head. "Uh.. Yeah...yeah. Something just happened that I'm not sure it happened...but ummm" Owen thinks, and thinks but Marjan is patient. "No...maybe it didn't."
Marjan gives a question look but before Owen can say more the alarm goes off and just like that everyone disperses and its on to the next emergency.
It's not until hours later that he walks back in the hospital, and he's no longer met with solemn looks or eye contact avoidance from the staff that he realizes it must be true. He arrives to the room with his son sleeping, the same machines surround his body, but he looks different somehow.
"We've sedated him," One of the doctors say behind him and Owen almost jumps. He didn't even hear the man walk in.
"Wait...sedated?" Owen questions almost angrily. "He just woke up from a-" Owen quiets about to give away how long, saving a TK that could possibly hear him from learning just how long. "...a ... he was asleep for a long time. You just put him back under?"
The doctor looks at him sympathetically. "I know. Waking up after ...that time can be traumatic to the mind and the body. We're just trying to keep him sedated and ease him into it. I know it feels you just got him back but just give it time. Did you tell anyone the news? Should I expect a big crowd here the coming days?" The doctor smiles friendly.
"No," Owen says bluntly. "I'm the only one that knows." He says as he sits in one of the plastic chairs he's visited from time to time.
