“a lot of hypergamy girls don't realize that these men aren't stupid, they can see right through some basic literature quoting and posturing, and a lot of these circles also don't value intellectual rigor.”
So with regards to this point mentioned by anon let’s primarily keep in mind that all affluent circles are different. What they value will differ based on location, culture, upbringing, age demographic, often their religious views or lack there of. We can debate on this point for days on end about what we’ve encountered in different affluent circles and what rules we feel apply. There will be commonalities, but also a lot of differences in terms of what is valued.
Especially when we get niche specific, what I mean by niche specific is when you’re targeting affluent circles within different industries such as (business, tech, finance,science,medicine) or weather you’re wanting to break into clubs centred around hobbies such as (sailing,golfing,horse riding,art,academia, cycling) Different sets of rules will always apply from one circle to another for example if you become a member of the explorers club, you’ll come to find out that the people there value intellectual rigour and a curiosity for knowledge, because that is their ethos so you’ll easily build relationships there if that is a genuine interest of yours.
Anon is 100% correct though they can see through posturing. So in conclusion the key to overcoming this hurdle and successfully breaking into certain affluent circles in my opinion is to
1.) Get niche specific so that you’re building relationships with like minded people initially based off of your shared interests.
2.) Ensure this is a genuine interest and passion of yours, if it isn’t it will be easily detectable. You don’t have to know everything about what you’re interested in just a willingness to learn.
3.) Observe. Observe. Observe, humans are easily readable and what separates a unsuccessful social climber to a successful one is the ability to observe, learn and understand the environment you’re in to avoid making certain faux pas.
4.) If the circle you’re attempting to break into aren’t looking to expand their network to more people and are intent on gatekeeping, do not embarrass yourself by trying mold yourself to fit in with them. Just move on it’s never that deep
5.) Remember that every single person is or was a social climber in high society, they presently might not be but their great grandmother was. So there is absolutely no reason for you to be intimidated by them when most of them are just masking their insecurities underneath their Burberry coats.
6) Focus on finding your tribe of both affluent men and women who’s company you enjoy, rather than performing like a circus monkey to appeal to a group of people you don’t even like. Start with yourself and think about the kind of people you’d enjoy socialising with. The world is evolving at an extremely rapid pace. As someone in both business and tech, I can tell you that the number of millionaires keeps increasing by the day, so there is a man and a circle out there for you!
Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk 😂
THIS. IS. THE. BEST. ADVICE. EVER.
And I agree with absolutely everything you said. 😊
Very very true that every single circle is going to have its nuances so flexibility and ability to read a room is so incredibly important!
Also LOVE that you mentioned the importance of actually socializing with people you have shared interests with! Getting invited to exclusive events is great and all but if it means surrounding yourself with people you have nothing in common with, it's going to feel like torture.
Thank you for your Tedtalk. I loved it. It was incredibly enlightening.
💙