rpFFFFFFFFFing about mack being cursed (its not real he’s not cursed he isn’t he isn’t he isn’t)
tw for heavy-ish angst below
but imagine for a moment that he is. he is cursed. and he knows it. not immediately, not after the first olympics, not after the first and second worlds, not after juniors and still not after the second olympics. not after the first playoffs (lost in round two), nor the second (lost in round 1) or third (lost in the cup finals). but maybe after the fourth playoff elimination (a terrible OT loss on G7 of the conference finals, after yet another shockey comeback) and the next year’s third olympics loss —this time to sweden on the gold medal game—, when sid is all gone and retired and has been for years, when mcdavid got injured a year earlier and hasn’t played since, still, even though he doesn’t have a cup. when mack is getting old and the sharks are right past the cusp of themselves and the best may actually be behind them and mack hasn’t. won. yet. maybe then mack feels it. bone deep. that he is cursed. that what zeev buium said offhandedly that weird night before the draft in 2024 —that stupid fucking thing that was supposed to be a joke just a joke it wasn’t supposed to be real, just another absentminded comment— maybe did curse him, put something rotten in him. that mack is rotten. thats its him. and mack being mack knows because when you know you do know and so mack knows. in that way that’s irreversible. but its mack. the world knows mack. so he thinks fuck this FUCK. THIS. i’m gonna win. i’m going to be the first. mack like achilles, strong and undefeated in so many ways but none that matter. mack who curses the fates because the fates cursed him first and he will not sit and take it. mack going to troy and fighting for it tooth and nail. deciding to not believe. to make it his way. to get a cup. to get the sharks a cup, Will a cup. but he fights too hard. pushes his body too far. gets to the limit and keeps going, uncaring and unrelenting, the same dog on a bone, the same bone. and then it happens. bad hit, too fast, nothing to do but take it and pray to a higher being that doesn’t answer. hospitals and surgery and then another surgery and it doesn’t work and too many i’m sorry’s and a big black shape hovering over him that mack ignores because maybe if he tries this one doctor in switzerland that dada recommended and the blackness hovers and gets bigger and nothing works and then another hospital and then it’s been two years and the sharks are in the playoff race again and he tries to come back and it doesn’t work and he can’t skate and the blackness is so big. and then that year the sharks win a cup. and its glorious and white and pure and so not black. and mack is black. mack is a big curse of blackness that takes and takes and takes from him. and he knows. and will knows. and his family knows. and mcdavid hasn’t played in years but he knows. and he lost contact with sidney after a while but sid texts then and he knows. and the world knows.
the blackness knows. mack knows.
mack never plays a professional game again. he never does win anything.
I think I will comment less on that because of the situation…idk
I can't believe they're really going to do that to him (I know, I got spoilers). There's so much blood.
NPO. Nil per os. Nothing by mouth. Awaiting surgery.
Dana is so amazing. She protects those in need, helps those in need, takes care of others, and all this without neglecting herself as much as someone who spends the day pretending to be stable amidst so much pain and death in such an environment. She is a skilled, experienced nurse and very good at what she does, besides, she is not only a nurse but the head nurse, probably carrying more responsibility on her shoulders and guiding new nurses. I love Dana.
Poor Emma experienced an aggressive patient.
Trauma coming. Motorcycle accident
Louie… I'm really going to cry. “I think we're done.” BUT I DON'T.
Langdon's little “Louie.” Man. I can't stop thinking about the parallels between them, that Frank could be in a similar situation if he had continued with his addiction.
12:07. The time of his death. Pulmonary hemorrhage. Perlah's voice faltering.
I've already been spoiled, so I'll say it now just because. Robby apparently arrived after Louie's death at some point. And not Langdon, the person who was present when he died. I hope it's a lie because I hope Robby is a better character than that. It's impossible to form a thought without wanting to cry.
Princess noticing Perlah's expression even from another room.
Jackson talking to the psychiatrist.
Roxie and her husband together for about 20 years.
Princess watches Love Island after her shifts.
Will I be right about Roxie's husband not being so saintly after all? Hope not.
Was it Kim I saw?
I still want to know if Dennis got involved with that street team delivering medication to the homeless.
Donnie out of the screening.
Perlah and Princess planning Javadi's birthday party. Do you realize how perfect that is? It implicitly shows how, since the first episode of the first season, the team has been coming together for something on the level of actually going out to parties together. Sure, they can be friendly colleagues, but I prefer family.
Ogilvie, I try to understand an annoying character when I'm introduced to him in a short amount of screen time and an opportunity for growth, but screw. There's a difference between being an annoying know-it-all and some insensitive white guy with at least a hint of misogyny. I'm going to have to repost that post, damn it, I hate being wrong. It's not about him saying "He crooked" to Dennis in front of everyone, it's him saying it to anyone with that specific tone of voice. He showed more emotion with that lady with Alzheimer's than with the death of a gentleman he even seemed to sympathize with. Then he says something like, "The chronic alcoholic, go figure." It's not like I expected him to burst into tears, or show himself devastated because he doesn't know Louie as well as the other attendants, but where the hell is a decent tone in a damn hospital talking about a damn patient who passed away? Allison Cameron is terrible at delivering death news, but at least she has a ton of empathy. House is annoying and super annoying, and he's still better than that, and maybe that's not the best comparison because of the time it takes for the characters to develop over the seasons, but simply, damn James Ogilvie. Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe not, maybe his bad with empathy in general because of some mental disorder or anything, but jesus. Stressed me.
"I need to check on Louie." It's the second patient, on screen, that Dennis loses without even having a chance to help.
I agree, Perlah, damn rookie. And Dennis running to see Louie. "I'm sorry, man." Okay, I cried. I need these two to come together through a breakdown over Louie, and I need Robby to be left behind because this man is irritating me in these episodes. I love you suicidal dilfs, but you still annoy me.
“Guess he was married at some point.” Oh no. Oh no, man. The tears on my face are real, and by the end of the episode I'll have a headache, but my God, Louie had a picture of his wife, I'm going to kill myself. I hate the lack of support that real people and characters receive when it comes to addictions and risky situations, in addition to the general romanticization of anyone among the diverse, even more so considering ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and minorities as a whole. I'm going to kill myself. “Never knew that.” Kill me. Wife and children. Langdon wanting to go after them, I'm really not okay. Louie's emergency contact being Dana's work phone number (I got a spoiler without context, and it hurts too much now with context).
I also love that we're focusing more on Perlah, even in this situation.
Emma speaks French. Princess speaks six languages and sign language.
“Et tu, Donnie?” I would support you, Dana, if you decide that the state of Pittsburgh deserves to undergo social reform by eliminating capitalist pigs and making medicine and care accessible to those in need, and when that evolved into, at the very least, an anarchic situation where there would be no government to decide who lives, who dies, how or when, just people living. Or something less conservative would also work.
Brandon Li, 52 years old, fell off a motorcycle pyramid while wearing a helmet. Is Robby going to commit suicide, people? It's impossible that all these accidents aren't a form of foreshadowing his gap year trip.
“Give me Whitaker, he can use a distraction. And Santos be ducking traumas all day.”
Dennis venting and Trinity yawning. You know what they need? A weekend off. A TV showing Glee or some dramatic and comedic gay crap, those furry, colorful socks, blankets, food, and a mattress in the middle of the living room. Bring Yolanda and they can be mean to Dennis too.
“You get used to it” corpses.
“Did he have family?”
“Everyone has family.” I'll be unliving myself.
“That's sad.”
“That's life.”
I keep imagining how many thousands of people were cremated and placed alongside other bodies when they weren't claimed. Families who might regret the decision, or who don't look back, who don't even know about it, desperate to find a missing relative. It's inhumane and that's life.
I preferred it when Pitt was just queer. I can deal with queer, but I hate feelings.
“But you miss them when they're gone.” I'll fix it, I'll cry every time someone mentions him in the next episodes. And Dana trying to stay strong.
“Dr. Santos.” “Joy.” “Dr. Whitaker.” Hers is coming soon too.
Yolanda and Trinity in the same room!!!!
I can't believe it. They're giving Jessie a backstory. It's everything I've ever wanted. Okay, calm down. He grew up a block from Carrick, his mother was a teacher at Brashear, so he studied there. Back then it was Bullets, after he left it became Bulls. I assume it's about American football teams or something like that. I thought it was cute that he was talking normally with Gus Varney, even though he's a prisoner. I hope he's the acceptable kind of prisoner and not, like, you know.
I also like this dynamic. For example, Samira giving the advice to put the food in the blender because he needs a liquid diet due to his jaw and he, being a prisoner, doesn't have access to that. I'm not saying she did anything wrong or judging, okay, but the situation is a dynamic I like because it shows perspectives and types of people. I can't explain it, but it's something about how different people need different advice because not everyone has the same conditions, and professionals in that area adapt to that, considering they're used to certain types of patients. Now, not just talking about medicine, but also, like, teachers with middle and lower-class students, lawyers with pro bono or paid cases, etc.
Robby's motorcycle is from 1969, rescued from a junkyard and restored with a friend who, from the context, I presume is Jack.
Robby looking over Dennis's shoulder. I love that because they're looking at the same thing, side by side, and Dennis barely needs to change his posture while Robby crouches down and puts his head forward just to be at Dennis's height.
"You still came over tonight?" Say yes, say yes. "I may need a rain check." Garsantos in front, Hucklerobby behind. Dennis and Trinity on one side, Yolanda and Robby on the other. Hmm.
“Hey, hmm, did you hear about Louie?”
“Yeah.”
“You okay?”
“One of my uncles drank himself to death.” Oh, that’s great, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear about his past either. Religious traumas, internalized homophobia, and no conversations about alcoholism because Louie died. And the problem is that Louie died, because in terms of the past, the more trauma the better. And hey, apparently Robby actually checked on Dennis. So far I’ll say:
Dennis was in charge of Louie’s case. It makes sense that Robby, who has always been somewhat protective of Dennis, would ask if he’s okay, even outside of a personal context, but getting into the professional one because he’s the boss.
There wasn’t a single dialogue between Langdon and Robby that wasn’t about continuing to ignore the elephant in the room and patients. Langdon saw Louie die. Louie was an addict. Langdon is recovering from an addiction.
Someone should check on Robby too, by the way. Speaking of this trio, since I already mentioned it before, because if Robby were to go around asking who's okay with Louie, he'd go around asking Perlah, Dana, even Emma.
“At least Louie always seemed happy.” That's why people drink, my love. They might seem happy, and that might give you comfort, but you can't be truly happy if you're slowly drowning until your only choice is to keep going deeper because at the bottom of the well you can only dig until you find hell or a way out.
“I'm here if you wanna talk.” And the fist bumps again. I want to cry. Just do a group hug and be done with it.
Coming out of depression. I love that Noah Wyle commented that Robby doesn't like physical touch. But it also depends, it seems.
In depression. I really need to look for fanfiction of Langdon and Dennis interacting about Louie and Dennis's addiction. I imagine that for a recovering addict, seeing someone who, even with their addiction, always managed to cheat death, actually dying is a step closer to a relapse. In a cinematic context.
Frank looking at Louie's picture.
Go to hell. "Didn't hear from anyone while I was gone." Didn't anyone bother to check on him? Not even say 'hey, we're rooting for you' or even 'get well soon'. Man, I can't cry anymore. My god, Robby and Dana. I know there are shows where coworkers are just that and others where they're family. Still. I don't know. I imagine this guy trying to overcome an addiction without the support of the people he considered friends (but we're best friends, right? s1). And I need to know his situation with Abby before I think he's completely alone. If you left him, I won't blame you, Abby, but I need to know. And that's not me judging them for living their lives, that's me sad.
“Sorry.” And Langdon asking if they arrested the guy who hit her (the answer is yes, but she didn't press charges).
Ten months alone. “I almost lost everything.” Thanks to Trin you still had something after that. I need those two talking too. They are two sides of the same coin. Abby stayed!
“Because you deserve a second chance.”
“Not sure everyone agrees with you.”
“Give time.” I think ten months is a very short time, at all. ( Ironic)
Him practicing the twelve steps and trying to redeem himself.
“I was really selfish. I lied to myself and I lied to you. I'm really sorry.”
“You can check me off your list, kid. We good.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah,” him wanting reassurance and her soft voice.
Dana, cure my parenting problems too? Please.
I can't, guys, I love characters with real development and evolution, I love comforting pain that makes me cry, and I love their relationship. I'm crying and I love it. It's impossible that I identify so much with Frank, we have nothing in common. I can only think now that Frank didn't even have a chance to try to redeem himself with Robby, and if he doesn't manage to by the end of his shift, he'll have to wait months. Or never, if Robby kills himself.
Rocky. The hot dog guy, I think I reblogged a post of gifs of that scene. Three. Five. One.
“351 hot dogs!? “ Oh friend… “36? Still a lot.” The shocked face and the relief in that blink.
I agree with Al-Hashimi about letting Gus recover in the hospital (I imagine prison isn't a good place for that), but I imagine Robby will bring up the issue of employee safety, and I agree with him on that too. Okay, he didn't. Yet. Robby listening to her? What an evolution.
Jefferson about Jackson. Is he schizophrenic? Jackson, not Jefferson. I don't know. Maybe encephalitis? But it would have been detected in the tests.
McVadi proximity! They're just standing next to each other.
Donnie has been promoted, MP. Advanced nurse.
“Donnie is the best. You'll learn a lot from him.”
That's right. I agree too.
Princess with Harlow and sign language. I love hearing-impaired characters.
The 3,200km trip to Alberta, Robby's place. I really hope he doesn't kill himself, but I saw this theory and now I'll only relax when the season is over.
“Thanks, not everybody down here thinks like that” or whatever the right phrase is about the people there not thinking of Robby's trip as paradise, but it's because these people know you, my dear.
Dennis and Joy, cute.
Kim entering through one door, interrupting Dennis, dropping all that correct information and exiting through another. Diva.
“How does she know all that?
She just does. “
Rocky throwing up while the guy next to him is eating.
I love that Joy always has some reference, comments, sarcasm, etc., to give.
Dennis giving Joy the same advice Robby gave him in the first season.
“Always listen to the nurses. They run the ER. We just try to stay out of their way.” And Kim's smile.
My smile fading as they go back to Louie.
The AI app malfunctioning? Wow, what a surprise. Santos used it for a patient, it was incorrect information, she hasn't reviewed it yet, nothing happened to the patient, by the way.
The doctor whose name I don't know is absolutely right. But putting all the blame on Trinity will bother me. Should she review it? Yes. But there should never be an AI program used by doctors in an emergency room where everything is a race against time and situations that can distract them. It's artificial intelligence. It's not reliable.
Dennis asking a question implicitly directed at Joy and Ogilvie actually letting her answer? Wow. Him asking to see Donnie's suturing work. Get better so I don't have to hate you anymore, Ogilvie. You seemed nice.
Donnie has tattoos on his wrist. DC on the left. Death and chaos. MB on right. Miracles and blessings. He got DC after Pittfest and MB after his daughter was born. Donnie is so special to me.
Dr. Wolke, pediatrics.
“He's a good guy. He's local.” First, I'll explain how the guy was run over by the broker to Guy because, Gasper. Second, Jessie, I don't know. I need to know why he was arrested before taking a side. There's rehabilitation, social justice, whether he deserves to stay in the hospital for better treatment like anyone else because of better resources. But if he's involved with rape, racism, sex trafficking, others, then he could very well receive worse treatment. I don't remember if they've already said the reason he's in jail. Gus was born in Bloomfield, Liberty Avenue. He worked at the Sunny tavern. Dana had her first kiss there.
“I think I was born to do this.”
Pass. I [...] pathology.” I didn't really understand the word, but Joy wants to go into pathology. Ogilvie is a ER guy.
“You have an interesting energy.” Donnie to Joy.
“No worries, doc. I won't fall again.” I loved that tone of voice, because either he was confident and proud of his own ability or that along with a hint of flirt with Dennis.
Gus's saturation dropped. Hmm. Dana definitely did something to get him hospitalized. I love and venerate that woman.
Rocky released. I love the Langdon chaos of the first season (when he wasn't being a jerk to Trin), but I love how stable he seems now. Comfortable.
“I thought you didn't go the extra distance for your patient's anymore.” What? Read in disbelief.
Langdon starting a conversation with Emma.
“Haven't killed anyone yet… I'm sorry, I-
It's okay.”
“She scares me.” Emma about Dana. Cute. And Frank saying she's tough on the outside but sweet and soft on the inside. Advising Emma to stay close to her.
Debriefing for Louie. Now Ogilvie seems more affected?? I won't take back what I said before. If I speak well, I can speak badly. Kinda off. Fuck.
“How many times did he say he's gonna quit drinking?” Frank asking, looking at Robby. I need him to chase after Robby less in the next episode.
Rhonda, Louie's wife. Robby knows her. And the story. A month before the baby was born, Rhonda and the baby died in a car accident.
Everyone there was emotional and I was crying.
Tomorrow, when I'm not so depressed anymore, I'll review this to see how much nonsense I said and re-analyze the characters' actions. Especially Al-Hashimi, Ogilvie, and Santos.
The thought of us actually being stuck with the blockbuster permanently irritates me like ik they said permanent on premiere night but this fr cant be the new format for the rest of the show like production HAS to see how this twist/comp has stunted nominations and gameplay and kept too many people around that would’ve gone home otherwise. There’s gotta be another way for them to handle thursday episodes
