#i snorted so loud

[georgiasbrainstuff]

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Further context: The commentators were talking about how George Russell had to wear smaller shoes in 2021 because he couldn't fit in the Mercedes car with his normal boots on. This was Alex Albon's completely normal thought on that.

[mintedwitcher]

obviously he's gonna get real sick... with morning sickness... because he's gonna get pregnant.

and that's how we learn he got back with Tommy.

[navarice]

Brian “honor the cock” Murphy still coming in w a clutch 19 that turns to a 32

[ikeepseeingghosts]

[incorrectnessduskwood]

Richy: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.

Jessy: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.

Lilly: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.

MC: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.

Dan: Looks like someone's a HO.

Phil: NaBrO.

Cleo: I'm done with all of you!

[mbrainspaz]

this poor comic artist really said you know what would look badass? thigh high boots, a tight one-piece swimsuit, and knives for hands

and he was RIGHT

[trixieyoo]

today at school, we were told to talk to each other about one thing that makes us happy and then the teacher called on someone to ask them what makes the person happy and this mf goes "he likes licking the peanut butter in between his toes" STRAIGHT FACE AND ALL

[adharastarlight]

"because Putin's being a dickhead" - some 11 year old at my school