A/N: I have been writing for a long time but only in Finnish. This is the first time I write fanfic in English. I think my English is good enough to understand what I’m saying (told me if I’m wrong) but more than that? I’m not sure at all. So, I chose my shortest fic and decided to translate it. But even though this seems readable to me, I can be wrong. So, if you decide to read this, it would be nice if you would tell me how I did. If this is a disaster, I promise, I don’t do this ever again :’D
And the song which inspired me to write this: The Bangles - Eternal Flame
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Ran lay on the couch in the living room and watched the TV. Well, it was more like channel surfing than particularly watching anything. It wasn’t like there is nothing to watch, it was because Ran was too picky. And it felt so unbearable. Whatever channel she chose to watch, it took only a few minutes before she felt so uneasy and changed the channel. For some reason, she couldn’t focus on anything. Nothing pleased her.
And yet she had a need to do something. She knew there was so much homework waiting for someone to do them. Someone should also pay a visit to the grocery store and if Ran could be honest, she would have wanted to go shopping with Sonoko, but for her loss, she was on her 23 weeks of pregnancy. Even though she didn’t admit it to anyone, carrying more than her own weight started to give her hard times. Moreover, the loud voices started to get a little one to demonstrate, and even though it was only a good sign that child was okay, it didn’t feel so pleasant. Like Shinichi used to say, that child has a mother’s strength and karate skills.
So, Ran has decided to stay at home and tried to rest. Though she hasn’t known how boring it could be. She got tired pretty easily, so she couldn’t do much at once, and when Shinichi wasn’t home, she was a little lonely. Maybe she should have invited someone for a cup of coffee or tea. Sonoko was always ready to share the latest gossips, and truth to be told, Ran has many other friends who she hasn’t seen in a long time. She wondered how many of them even knew that she was pregnant.
The truth was that Ran missed Shinichi’s company. Her husband had been last few days too busy with cases, and even though he didn’t admit it, Ran knew that Shinichi hasn’t slept well for a couple of nights. Ran wondered if he has even eaten well. Yesterday and the day before yesterday she went to the crime scenes to bring some lunch to her husband, and as for thanks, he has scolded her for exhausting herself. Sometimes she felt like Shinichi stressed so much more about her pregnancy than she did.
The slam of the door made Ran wake up on her thoughts. Slowly she sat up on the couch, ready to stand up and going to see who did come in, but before she did, a familiar voice made muffled greetings: “I’m home.” Ran felt happiness, though it didn’t last long. She recognized the tired voice of her husband and it made her worried, even felt bad. She really hoped that the case was solved by now and anyone didn’t give him any more cases to solve. Actually, she hoped that no one needed that kind-hearted detective’s help. Even though she knew that people need help all the time and she knew that Shinichi was best at what he did, that man didn’t know what being selfish meant. He would work as long as his feet carry him, and his eyes stay open.
“Welcome home”, Ran shouted and took the remote control to turn the TV off. She was ready to stand up when she saw her dark-haired husband in the doorway. He leaned on the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest and a one-sided smile on his tired face. Blue eyes met hers.
“Hey.”
”Hi, dear”, Ran answered softly and smiled. Even though his tired face made her worried, at the same time she felt so much love. She was so relieved and happy to know that her loved one was home again, alive and… well, healthy. All she wanted now was to feel those arms around her and his lips on her hair, on tip of her nose, on the cheek, and on her lips.
“How are you?”
Ran shook her head. Of course, Shinichi was worried about her even though she hasn’t done anything else than stayed at home doing nothing. “We are better than good”, she answered and looked at her belly at the same time when she laid her hand on top of it. “We have been lying on the couch and watched what TV has to offer. We made food and refused aunt Sonoko’s invite to go shopping. Oh”, she said and then raised her gaze on to Shinichi who has his eyes on her big stomach, “and then we have been waiting when daddy comes home.” She kept little break. “How about you? Did you solve the case?”
“Mmm”, Shinichi muttered eyes still on their offspring. “Yeah, we did… Actually, inspector Megure gave me details of the next case…
“Shinichi…”
“What?” Shinichi answered and rose his eyes to look at his wife. “He needs my help, and that case sounds interesting…”
Ran looked away and closed her eyes for a moment. She should have known this. “Well, it seems you have something to do tomorrow”, she said. When her husband didn’t answer, she looked at him again with a meaningful gaze. “Of course, you are going to have the rest of the day free, right?”
Shinichi turned his eyes away from her. “Actually, I thought to go on the study and…” Ran cried out with frustration and Shinichi reacted to it immediately: “What? It won’t take long. I can solve it in no time and then we can spend time…”
“This isn’t about me, Shinichi, it’s about you”, Ran blurted out. She looked at her husband in desperation. “You haven’t had a proper meal for a few days and you haven’t slept well. You just visit at home and then leave again. If it continues like this, you’re going to exhaust yourself.”
“I’m fine”, he answered stubbornly. “Of course, I need to help if MPD needs me! And…” He took a break and glanced at Ran’s stomach. “And we are going to have a baby. We need money…”
“We don’t have to worry about money, we have enough”, Ran interrupted. “And even if we wouldn’t, more than money our child needs a father who hasn’t burn himself out.” Shinichi grinned and looked away without saying anything. Ran took a deep breath. And he said Ran was stubborn? She knew that if she continued this argument, they wouldn’t get anywhere. She knew that Shinichi has made his mind and as much as Ran would fight against it, it wouldn’t help. It would be all the same if she just let him lock himself into the study. She would still be a good wife and bring him a proper meal and coffee, and if it takes far too long, she will go and make him come to bed.
Then she got an idea. Ran looked at Shinichi and smiled gently. “Come here”, she said and patted on the couch.
Shinichi met her gaze and rose his eyebrow. “Why?”
Ran rolled her eyes. ”Just come.” When Shinichi didn’t make any movements to come closer, Ran turned and lay down on her back onto the couch. She heard how Shinichi breath out her name like a warning, but she ignored it. Ran searched for a good position for herself.
“Ran, you shouldn’t!” Shinichi’s voice said and soon her husband stood beside her. Ran couldn’t choose if Shinichi was angry or worried. “Doctor said that sleeping on your back can be bad for baby’s development…”
“Yeah, sleeping”, Ran interrupted gently. “I didn’t plan to sleep. Come here.”
“Moreover, it isn’t good for you either, it can…”
“Shinichi”, she interrupted emphatically. “I didn’t plan to sleep, okay? I just thought to rest a little while with my husband, so sooner you get here with me, the sooner I can get up”, she explained calmly. Then she moved a little to make sure that there would be enough space between her and the couch back to Shinichi. Then she tapped that space. “Come now.”
Shinichi just stood there and just observed her like trying to choose what to do. He didn’t seem to warm up to the idea. Ran on the other hand just smiled at him gently. She didn’t saw any problem here. Why would she? She was the one who carries their child, so she also knows what she can do and how long. Every night she slept on her side or at least she zoned out and woke up on her side. Sometimes when Shinichi turned his back – or rather left at home without her – she may have been rested on her back, but she had made sure that she wouldn’t stay like that more than an hour. And even though she had been warned about sickness and said that it wouldn’t be a pleasant position, she hasn’t felt any effects on her. Though she wouldn’t even try her luck with that. She just wanted to have even a little moment with her husband, made sure that he would take a little break from the work if nothing else. Besides they have done this many times before pregnancy. Usually, after a long day, Shinichi had been snuggled beside her laying his head on her chest and let her stroke his hair when they have talked, exchanged kisses, or just taken naps.
So, she didn’t believe that a little moment can do any harm to her or a baby.
“Alright”, Shinichi finally consented. “But you promise that you will tell me immediately if you start to feel sick or something else like that.”
“I promise”, Ran promised once again. She didn’t care to count how many times she has given that promise in these last months, but it didn’t matter. She just made sure that Shinichi gets to the couch on her side. They searched for a good position for a while before Shinichi lay his head on her chest and put his left hand on her belly.
Ran felt those dark hairs tickle on her neck and it made her smile. When her left hand rose to pet those dark hairs, she pressed her cheek against the top of his head. She smelled a familiar scent and Ran realized how much she has missed him.
“It’s pretty big already”, she heard him saying. Ran opened her eyes and look at her stomach.
“And it’s going to grow more”, she answered. “There is still fifteen weeks… Your mom told me on the other day that at some point when the child has grown up enough, you can feel when they have a hiccup.”
“Really?”
“That’s what she said.” Ran smiled and lifted her right hand to catch his hand which still rested on her stomach. His fingers intertwined with hers. ”She also told me that when she waited for you, she usually kept tv controller on her stomach, and when you got hiccup, it flew on the floor.”
Shinichi moved and soon Ran saw his face. She needed to do everything just not to laugh at that man. She knew how much Shinichi hated it when Yukiko told anything about him to anyone, and it showed on his face. Ran giggled.
“Riiiight”, he mumbled and lay back down. This time he buried his forehead against her neck. “You shouldn’t believe everything mom says. She always exaggerates everything.”
“Don’t say that”, she laughed and continued to pet his hairs. “Or can you prove it wrong?”
“Whatever”, Shinichi muttered before he moved and set his face against Ran’s neck. She smiled. It was funny how after all these years, after everything, she still felt so strongly about him. Ran has heard people said that at some point it wouldn’t feel the same as before, like the fire, it would fade and it is just part of life. Nothing special. And it has been kinda a scary thought. Yet she still felt the same burning on her when it came to Shinichi. He still made her feel all butterflies in her stomach when he took her in his arms and Ran felt like she could never get rid of that feeling. She loved him so much, and she felt being loved. It was like they were meant to be, like… like…
Then she remembered something.
“Today I heard a very old song from the radio”, Ran said quietly.
“Oh?” Shinichi mumbled. “What was it?”
Ran stared at the ceiling. She tried so hard to get the name of the song on her mind, but she couldn’t remember it. It was weird because she still remembered the melody and some words. Many years ago, she has listened to that song so many times, because it has been beautiful, so romantic…
Well, it still was.
She started quietly hum what she remembered. At some point, she got how that song started and little by little lyrics came to her mind.
“Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming, or is this burning an eternal flame?”
She smiled. She hasn’t been sure that she could have remembered those lyrics without the song playing in the background, but she did it!
“That’s it?”
Ran awaked on her thoughts. “What?” she asked before she realized. “Oh, that song?”
“Yeah”, Shinichi answered without moving. “How it continues?”
Ran just watched his husband’s dark hairs before she realized that she didn’t pet him anymore. She started to stroke his hair again and closed her eyes. She started to hum again trying to remember more.
“I believe it’s meant to be, darling.” Ran felt a smile against her neck, and it made her smile too.
”I watch you when you are sleeping, you belong with me. Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame?
Say my name. Sun shines through the rain. A whole life so lonely, and then come and ease the pain. I don’t wanna lose this feeling…
Hmmm…”
She kept a little break trying to remember how it went after that. She wasn’t sure but she decided to continue with what she remembers:
”Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating? Do you…”
Her fingers stopped to play with Shinichi’s hairs at the same time when her quietly singing faded. She listened for a while, waiting for her husband to say something like the last time, but nothing happened. She just heard stable, calmly breathing.
A triumphant grin came to Ran’s lips. She felt like a winner! She had made him take a break from his work! Even a small nap would do good for him and Ran really hoped that after he would wake up, he would decide to spend the rest of the day with her and come early on the bed with her instead of working the whole night without break.
Though she knew this kind of thing would happen with him. She has known Shinichi for her whole life, and she knew better than well all his flaws when she married him. Yet it didn’t bother her. She loved him with his good and bad habits, and she wouldn’t change anything. She would be at his side whatever he would do, and she knew that Shinichi would do the same to her.
”Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming”, Ran continued quietly happy smile on her face, ”or is this burning an eternal flame?”
I’m applying for a job that’s ten minutes away from my house, seems nearly perfectly tailored to my experience, AND like it might actually be fun instead of grindingly miserable?
...so if anybody could pray for me i’d really appreciate it?
Holy shit 😳. It just hit me that there are only 5 more days till I’m leaving for ClexaCon. 5 days till I have to face my anxiety and fears of airports and traveling alone head on.
Well, soon I'll be posting little scenes of my New Generation girls. All moments of the images as I imagine them from the point of view of each of them in my headcanon.
Stay tuned!
And just out of curiosity, which point of view are you most curious too see?
