sometimes i think about lightbulb as a character in season 4. like wow, yes lightbulb, you've spent the last who knows how many years having your fragility taken as such a joke. you YOURSELF found your concept of death beyond funny, maybe even to the point of tears sometimes.
and then suddenly, one big thing happens and its like everyone just changed their mind. suddenly you're high risk, and your mortality has never been challenged like this. already so frail and high risk -- people stop looking at you in danger with the same light and humour that they used to. they look at you with pity now - maybe even some foreign understanding of what its like.
suddenly everything isnt a joke anymore. one wrong move and shes pretty much gone for good and she just has to live like that now. she'll never be able to live again the same now, with this new knowledge. she is permanently altered by the truth of the matter, and its not something she's ever allowed to forget about or risk losing her sense of life.
her entire stereotype was about being a ditzy, clumsy and fragile object at the base of it all. she was born and programmed to die over and over again for entertainment, but now that death is permanent, its like a taboo.
i think of how happy and blissful she was just being alive. and now she's so focused on staying alive she cant have the same thoughts and feelings as when she was blissfully unaware. if she was me i'd genuinely be mentally ill over it. lightbulb ii is a better woman than i am.
