violet remembers the last time she tried to fight back — the burning fist around her throat, the way she felt her windpipe crush and crunch under pressure. whenever flashes of the altercation hits her brain like the eight of wands, she feels her stomach drop and her pulse turn hot. this time, though, she’s got her fists clenched, little unsheathing fangs coming out, like some baby vampire. it’s fucking rage. rage for feeling like this, rage for being tethered like a fucking pathetic dog, rage for letting it get this far … far enough that she came back completely fucking wrong. it’s like an animal tired of being kicked. a full bowl of food isn’t enough to ease the pang in her ribs. “your patience? your patience, you fucking bitch?” it’s sudden, blurted, with confidence that neither violet nor seraphina knew she possessed. she almost stammers, but, fuck, it comes out just as sharp as her claws. “you’ve worn mine down, and i’m fuckin’ fed up with you and your bullshit and making me into this. fuck you and your patience.”
… because, if violet is already dead, what can seraphina do? who knows how many times violet has died. it doesn’t bother her anymore. she comes back, and she comes back, and she comes back, and she comes back. what is there to lose? oh. it’s octavia. that’s something she can lose, and she sure as hell doesn’t want to. but she fights — hard. “i’m done, and i swear to fucking god, i’m not joking, don’t come running the fuck after me, don’t try and make me feel like i’ve got no choice. go find another bassist, go jerk off in the mirror some more, go find someone else to be me.”