#idealizing

[yeesiine]

To avoid disappointment; take people exactly as they truly are, instead of idealizing about what you wish they would be.

[macaulaytwins]

on all levels except physical I am leaving my apartment that sits above a local bakery, walking down a cobblestone street in the early morning on my way to the farmer’s market, softly humming to myself

[aestasventus]

Everyone's yearning here, but how many of you are yearning for living with amazing flatmates. Imagine: a messy flat. a long-forgotten dried basil plant on the kitchen windowsill. alphabet letters on the fridge, spelling something silly every day. a small projector in the living room instead of a tv. a stack of board games and half-read books lying everywhere. posters and flags you don't even remember anyone bringing. and all of you quickly becoming best friends. baking cakes late at night even if it's not anyone's birthday. warm summer nights with everyone crammed on the balcony, someone softly playing guitar. the many grocery store adventures. 

[teachanarchy]

[help-my-relationship]

I (24M) and my boyfriend (25M) are being forced apart by circumstances, unless I stay?

I moved to the other side of the world last year and have since met who I can only describe as the love of my life (yes, I know I'm only 24 but I'm totally smitten so just allow it). I only planned on being in Australia for about a year before I would then move back to Ireland, and part of me would have felt ready to go back had 6 months ago I not met this guy. I cannot begin to describe how much I idolise this man and how much he has grown to mean to me. I've never felt this way about somebody before, (especially a man as I had only ever been with women before), and the connection I feel we have is so real. We get on so well on multiple levels and part of me feels as though I will never meet someone quite like him ever again. I see myself growing old with him. It's always been on the cards that I was to be going back to Ireland (I have an Aussie passport so it's not a visa issue). I could stay here, but I'd have to give up my job I have lined up at home and do a career change. I'm far away from my friends and family, who I miss dearly, and he is not able to move with me. The thought of leaving makes my chest hurt and go cold. It's all I can think about, trying to work out what I should do, whether I'll regret having left or resent staying somewhere I didn't plan on being. I almost feel as though I'm posting on here for someone to tell me to stay (it's what I want to hear), but deep down I know I need to follow my head and continue with my life. Leaving feels totally insurmountable. It will destroy me.

It's honestly really concerning to me anytime I see someone saying they idolize someone they're dating, especially not that they'll die without this person. That's not healthy, babes. You want a partnership. You're not, like, a priest worshiping a god. This man is a person. He's certainly not perfect. He's got flaws and problems and issues like anyone else. Your telling use of the word idolize and the length of this relationship let me know this is lust. This is the honeymoon phase. You do not really know this man yet. Don't give up your life and family for a man you've put up on a pedestal because that's a hard crash.

Best case scenario, you destroy this relationship yourself because he can't balance on that pedestal forever, and he's eventually gonna run away from your standards and expectations rather than let you down. Best case.

You can always stay in contact long distance and continue getting to know each other. Make a decision once that shine wears off because I promise you, he's got skeletons in his closet just like anybody else, and you're nowhere near discovering them at this point.

[slut4poets]

how to not idealize people

[i-just-wanna-fckin-feel-right]

She is too in love, she is idealizing her relationship with him and that never ends well. Now I can see it, I’ve been there.