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computer how do I ask my parents to see “girls like girls” without saying the name of the movie or the premise of the movie or have them look up things about the movie or have them attend the movie with me or ask me how the movie went. no borax, no glue

#I’ll probably just watch it three months later on an illegal website lol but it’d be great if I didn’t have to do that #olive rambles #girls like girls #wlw #bisexual #lesbian #pride month #in the closet #closeted #identity tag

SILT-12 / ANHYDRA — first iteration

Next planned Host (documenting for now):

Tardigrade-inspired. Hardy, alien, a survivor-of-void — not “cute”, not characterful. More like a sealed specimen that happens to be soft.

HOST CLASS: SILT-12 HOST INSTANCE: S12-000001 TYPE: LIMINAL FAUNA CODENAME: ANHYDRA INTERIOR: INACCESSIBLE ∅

TYPE: LIMINAL FAUNA

• FACETED SHELL (PEPAKURA) geometric/polyform body; armour-like crypt state; seam-lines as plates

• SEGMENTED SOFT-SHELL simplified organism anatomy; tactile but non-cute

Working notes:

the mouth aperture stays as a recessed ring — an opening that doesn’t explain itself.

seam logic does the heavy lifting: plates, joins, tension points.

close-ups matter: if it reads “manufactured” at macro scale, the fiction holds.

This is not something I often post about. For a lingerie time I used the term grayromantic because I thought the times I felt attracted to folks was romantic, and it happened only a handful of times. Im 24 now, and i have been in one relationship, which ended because I wasn't into the idea of kissing and sex and stuff. I recently read a first hand account of someone's aromantic awakening, and i realized it was me. To a very, deep? Level. The way I feel attraction, my wants out of life, my Dislikes my squicks.. all of it. So ive been thinking, that maybe im just aromantic full stop, and the few people I felt that attraction to were not romantic crushes, but rather some kind of platonic want. I never have looked at someone and found them sexy, or thought of kissing them, or even feeling like I want to be in any kind of relationship with them outside of "devoted friendship." And when those friendships have ended it crushes me. But i also have BPD, so i know some of it is due to the whole abandonment issue I have.

The relationship i want. Is not. Holding hands and cuddling and kissing. I literally just want a best friend who i live with. We could share a bed, if it's big enough we don't have to cuddle. I cant fall asleep if im cuddling someone. They would have to be okay never kissing, never having sex, never having kids, rarely even holding hands. Im kind of touch averse. But i still want someone to spend my life with. And I think thats why ive been so confused up till now. I felt like I must be at least a little romantic if I want that.

I don't know how to proceed. I have few friends in my life, and the ones I do have are starting to settle down and get married and try for kids. And i feel so stuck. I feel like im being left behind. I feel so lost and scared for how this will effect my future. I mean, I never would have been comfortable settling down with anyone and having kids. I never would have felt comfortable having sex or anything. I just feel like this huge expectation I had is falling away from me.

Not to mention, all of the folks I know in queerplatonic relationships knew the person for a long time and slowly they became such. But i don't have anyone in my life. Especially not anyone who would willingly claim that title with me. Not someone who would live with me and be my life partner.

I have friends, a best friend even. But they all are such romantic and/or sexual beings. And are in committed relationships. Or live with their partner. And i wouldn't really care if my life partner had other partners, but I would want it to be like. I was the one they came home to. Im the one they sleep next to, and have as an emergency contact. Idk.

Kind of just rambling now. The thing is. I just. Want so much. And I don't know how to get it. I remember being 16 and my best friend started spending less time with me because she got a boyfriend. I felt crushed. Convinced myself I had a crush on her, and it culminated in us literally not talking for 3 years (tho that didn't occur till i was 21) Because I was so distraught that she no longer had time for me. But it was never that she was with someone else. It always came back to me not having her around as much. It was always my loneliness that caused issues.

I just desperately want someone to spend my life with. To watch movies with, and go on walks with and talk to. Someone who would know all of my deepest secrets and we would lay in bed together talking. We could stargaze and go to the beach and watch fireworks and go hiking. Etc etc.

Im just worried it's all just a fantasy. Its all just going to stay a daydream.

#important #identity tag #parker? actually answering?#not actually an answer #personal i guess #aromantic #aro #aroace #arospec #aromantic asexual

Idol intierarchy

A label for when one internally categorizes others in a hierarchy based around idols. For example: The user may see themselves as an idol, those below them are fans, an equal person as an oshi, ect

While this was originally intended for people with NPD, it is not exclusive.

Tags: Original label and template were made by @rwuffles, I'm also tagging @radiomogai