Attic Eviction
There are squirrels in the attic,
or maybe they are mice,
I don’t what the hell they are
but they aren’t very nice.
They wake me up each morning,
and sometimes late at night,
and when they scratch and claw the walls
it gives my dog a fright.
And so I pound upon them,
banging with my fist;
they’ll stop their chatter for a bit
but still not get the gist.
And so I got some mousetraps
and poison sure and strong;
I thought that I would kill them all
but I was very wrong.
And so I blasted music,
some heavy metal tunes,
and let it play all morning long
into the afternoon.
The only thing I managed
was to make the neighbors mad,
so now I really want to kill
those fuckers really bad.
I so I got a flamethrower
and would have torched the house
but then I found the answer
to all problems with a mouse.
I bought myself a cat,
and I put him in the attic,
and just like that, the rodents were
no longer problematic
So when the world irks you
and brings you to the brink,
remember that the fix is often
simpler than you think.
