Jan 20, 2023
I Know & Don't Know #1
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I Know & Don't Know #1
I Know & Don't Know #2
I Know & Don't Know #1
I Know & Don't Know #2
I don’t remember what it’s like to go to sleep with you anymore. I don’t remember why it brought me so much comfort. Frankly, I don’t even know why you’re here right now. I don’t know if it’s because you think that I give a shit if we do still or not. If this is some attempt to make me feel better or if it’s because you want to be here. I doubt it’s because you want to be here. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked me to mute my mic.
I don’t feel comfortable with you like I used to. I hardly want to be around you. I want you to know that you did this. You did this to me. I’m terrified of you. When I think about being with you in real life, my immediate response is fear. Whenever we talk, I’m so scared to say anything because I don’t know what will set you off.
There have been so many times where one of us has threatened to leave the other. Just a few days ago, you told me that I have two weeks to “fix” myself, otherwise you are leaving....I feel like our relationship has an expiration date. It’s kinda ironic because in two weeks, I will be on vacation and that’s when she broke up with me. I hope it won’t be the same with you.
It’s kinda ironic because this entire time, I’ve been drastically changing myself for you, yet you have done NOTHING to change for me. You constantly tell me that you will never change. Yet, here I am, rearranging myself for your comfortability and happiness. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I don’t know who the fuck this person is.
I know that I love you. I also know that you’ve been killing me. And I can’t spend as much time around you anymore. I know it goes both ways. More so for you than me. You hardly care whether we spend much time together. You only care once we ARE together and I say I might have to leave.
Fuck it, I’m getting too drunk. I’m done
Idkk bowl to fick thisvv
irts weird when people call lotion body butter like i am not a corn cob i am not buttered like it makes sense i guess but
Circa 2006.