#ilhoon angst

[vitaminbtob]

⚠️ I cried while making this ⚠️

I know I said I'll be posting Hyunsik video after Changsub edit but i just wanted to share this one... I hope everyones like it 💙

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[Like/reblog if use 🌸 Please don't repost]

[gohyuck]

ink - j.i.

ilhoon x reader

where you get tattooes

You’re being surreptitious without there being any reason to be.

Sighing, you press save on your half finished chords, checking the time - 2:44 am - before shutting your system down. You won’t get any more work done tonight, not while being this distracted.

It isn’t that big a deal, after all - it’s just a couple of strokes of ink filling the space on your right wrist. It’s a tribute to your hard work, too - the months of blood, sweat, and tears spent on the project condensed into one small wave. It’s simple and beautiful, and you don’t regret getting it. Hell - you’re proud of what your tattoo stands for.

March 8th, 2018. Big Wave - Jung Ilhoon’s solo debut. Produced by Ilhoon and by you. You’d briefly considered also getting 080318 etched into your skin instead but had decided against it, settling on just the elementary wave. Two tattoos dedicated to it - your first project as a producer for Cube - would be overkill. Besides, people could misconstrue Ilhoon’s solo debut date permanently being on your body as something more than the truth - that you’re just friends. Unfortunately. You don’t dwell on your wishful thinking.

It was a debut date for both of you, but he’s the one in the limelight. You’ve always been more of a behind-the-stage kind of person.

That’s tangential. You reprimand your own thoughts for strolling down forks in roads to meet more forks in roads, causing you to get farther and farther away from the predicament at hand.

That is - the predicament on your hand. You want Ilhoon to see your tattoo, but you don’t know how to show him it. You don’t know how he’ll react, and that scares you shitless for reasons beyond yourself. God knows that you’ve had countless opportunities to just let your sleeves ride up, to lean across from him and ‘accidentally’ flash your latest ink. You just can’t bring yourself to do so.

It’s why, for the past three weeks, you’ve been wearing sweatshirts and long sleeved shirts places.

It’s August.

As you chastise yourself for being such a goddamn weenie a knock on your apartment door startles you. You hurry to tug on the nearest hoodie - in not being able to let Ilhoon know about it, you haven’t told anyone else either.

“I’m home! Just give me a sec.”

A familiar laugh meets your ears in response, followed by a familiar face as you swing open the door. Ilhoon grins, ruffling your hair quickly as he shucks his shoes off at your front door.

“What’s up?”

Ilhoon doesn’t chance coming over to your apartment unless he’s got pressing information that you need to know - he doesn’t want to accidentally out where you live to anyone. It’s why, in fact, he’s standing in your apartment at 3 in the morning rather than 3 in the afternoon.

He smiles as he settles down on your couch, patting the seat next to him in a silent ask for you to join him. The moment you get within arm’s reach, he shifts closer to the end of the couch to make room. When you sit down on the opposite end, sitting farther from him than you mean to, he swings his feet onto your lap - that’s the extent of his skinship. It’s honestly a lot for him, actually.  

Leave it to Ilhoon to be more comfortable in your own home than you are.

“Well?”

You don’t sound short with him, but he wouldn’t consider you patient, either. It’s ass o’clock in the morning, after all, and you have to sleep sometime.

“I have something to show you.”

“It couldn’t have waited?”

“Have I ever waited?”

You fight a smile at this, rolling your eyes instead to show your - faked - displeasure instead. Ilhoon reads you perfectly and shoots you another grin, barely softer than the first one. He shuffles to sit straight, leaning towards you.

“Look at this,” His eyes gleam with excitement as he shakes his sleeve away from his hand. Before you can furrow your brows, he jabs his index finger in the space between you at the speed of light, forcing you to grab his hand to save yourself.

There’s a black line on the side of his finger that wasn’t there before.

You let out a breath of disbelief.

“You got a tattoo?”

“I have, like, five, but yeah. I got a tattoo.” His smile is still bright, but the corners are slipping slightly. “Why? You don’t like it?”

“No I - I just,” You stare at the simple wave on his finger for a second more, trying to pull your thoughts together. “I-”

“...You?”

You blink twice before realizing that the words just won’t come out. You’re forced, rather, to pull your right sleeve off, baring your own ink to Ilhoon, who, really, may as well be the world to you. It’s the end, you think, mind flashing forward to mobs of fans possibly realizing that you have the same tattoo. They wouldn’t buy an explanation of how none of this was planned, and even though BTOB and Ilhoon’s fans have never even neared being rude or territorial, the idea still scares you. You don’t want to impact his career negatively, and you don’t want to lose yours, either.

Ilhoon’s eyes widen as his smile drops completely to be replaced by an expression of shock. He grabs your wrist, albeit gently, to bring it closer to him.

It’s really over, now.

“They’re almost fucking identical, holy shit.”

“Yeah, fuck. If I’d have known I wouldn’t have -”

“This is fucking awesome - wait, what?”

“What?” Looking into Ilhoon’s eyes, you realize you’ve completely misread his expression. He doesn’t seem fearful, but he does look… excited?

“I mean… what if fans think that we’re dating?”

One corner of his mouth turns up. “My fans haven’t been wrong before - ow!”

“You’re the worst.” Nevertheless, your smile has started to return. “I’m being serious!”

“So am I!” Ilhoon brings his feet off of you, moving slightly closer to you. He grabs both of your wrists and tugs lightly, forcing you to keep your gaze on him. “This is proof as any that we should do… something. I’ve meant to ask for-fucking-ever and honestly, I think that this is the sign I’ve been waiting for. What do you say?”

You relax, letting the tension out of your shoulders with a long sigh. “What about the company?”

“Fuck the company.” Ilhoon’s gaze is gentler than usual even when paired by his harder words. You’re already getting used to it.

After what feels like seconds to you and eons to him, you nod, grabbing onto his wrists as well. He laughs, and you laugh, and within moments you’re both happier than ever in each others arms.

Eventually you both subside, and Ilhoon examines your wrist again as you trace over his newest tattoo. He stares at it for forever, even after you’ve stopped in your ministrations.

“You know,” Ilhoon begins thoughtfully. “We got a couple tattoo before being a couple.”

You don’t respond.

It’s 3:45 am., and you’re dead asleep.

Ilhoon smiles again, the kind he’s had reserved for you since he’d met you.

He leans in to whisper to you, even if he knows you won’t hear him.

“I’m glad I didn’t wait until the morning.”

[99liners]

ilhoon as a boyfriend;

request: Anonymous said : hi!!!!! can you do a male reader scenario of ilhoon as your boyfriend pretty please? 😭💕

a/n: i’ll try. i’ll try my best alright. please, bear with me. this is my first time ever writing for a male reader. i’m praying to the bro god that i don’t make mistakes. enjoy! it’s headcannon so heads up!

jung ilhoon, the perfect loyal™ boyfriend.

he takes his relationships and commitments very seriously.

extremely intelligent and full of capabilities.

very strong willed and has ended many relationships because it didn’t feel right but later he may dwell on it for awhile afterwards which has caused a few small differences between you two but his affection for you is too strong for him to let you walk away just like that.

you’re worth much more and he’s willing to go all the way into this relationship.

no holding backs. 

he’s very interested in optimizing his relationships

a very good listener

some of the problems you’d before the relationship kick-started were : he is not naturally in tune with others feelings; may be insensitive at times

tends to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the required emotional support

not good at expressing feelings and affections

his biggest vice is his tendency to be unwilling or unable to accept blame of any kind

and his constant quest to improve everything sometimes is taxing on relationships

but that’s fine, isn’t it? nobody is perfect and you knew you could help him where he needed it and vice versa.

they say opposites attract but what they actually mean is that mismatching vices and virtues attract cause then you know you can fill in his life where he needs it.

that’s exactly what happened between you two! the yin yang

best thing he loved about you? no matter how big the fight gets

at the end of the day you both would somehow manage to get your asses on the couch, switch on netflix, play whatever comes on first and just watch silently

no one would say a word, until he would reach his hand out and place it around your hip like it belongs there

during parties

during social gatherings

during him showing others how you’re his

during a walk along the street

during everything

that’s where that hand is supposed to be buddy don’t fight it

and just like that, the conflict would move to the back seat for the moment

“oh you’re so gay. but that gayness better be only for me”

“i’m watching your gay ass”

you guys can just be waiting in line to grab some ice cream, and instead of holding your boyfriend’s hand, you just grab his junk over his shorts. and he would laugh it off with a, “god, you’re so gay.”

the only thing that you both do religiously at house is grabbing each other’s butts. it’s like some cult ritual you guys follow strictly and denying it only meant death

the goofiness is over the top. yelling the dialogues of star trek together while watching it for the thousandth time

“you know spock gave lieutenant uhura a radioactive material which works like a tracking device”

“babe, i’d totally give you one too, that ass only belongs to my heart”

you would just be brushing your teeth in the morning, standing in front of the mirror

and he would pop out of nowhere and pull down your shorts and walk away like nothing happened

yeah it’s part of the ritual too

once in a while when you wake up before him, you’d just kick him out of the bed

he would fall of the bed with a groan

“yah you punk, you’re gonna get it, better watch out”

psst he is bluffing, just an ass

biggest milestone in the relationship till now?

when he introduced you to his noona, jung min joo

it was a big deal cause he has never taken anyone to meet his family before, ever

but with you, he just knew. he was at peace with you

minjoo and the members adore you too and it wasn’t long when cube released the official statements

now all he is excited about right now is adopting kids with you and buy a house, he can see all of those right in front of his eyes, floating and he wishes for nothing more than it to come true

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

feedback is deeply appreciated.✨

masterlist | btob masterlist | rules | ask box

- jaimie (i’ve so much to talk about ilhoon as dad so i saved it for later on or some other request haha)

© 𝟫𝟫𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓇𝓈, 𝟐𝟎𝟣𝟪. 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃.

[restlessmaknae]

Mellifluous

As a part of my Birthday Prompt Party, Mellifluous is dedicated to the lovely @sungjaesgf who has requested #9 “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.” ” with Ilhoon from BTOB. I hope you like it! Happy New Year! ❤️

Words: 815

Genre: angst, dark, tragedy, horror

Characters: police officer!Jung Ilhoon (BTOB) x modern siren!female

Warning: mentions of blood, death, violence, emotional manipulation

The voice of the siren slowly drove Ilhoon crazy – it was suffocating like cancer.

The voice of the siren slowly drove Ilhoon crazy – it was suffocating like cancer.

First, he was sleep deprived. The more he heard the voice, the less he slept. It was because of the fear of hearing the voice even in his sleep; he feared losing control while he was sleeping. He didn’t know why but he had an odd feeling that if he closed his eyes, he would give into some kind of unknown power. A power that was out of this world. A power that could easily take hold of Ilhoon without him realising.

After that, he became nutritionally deprived. He was fantasizing about killing, not about eating. The voice firmly told him whom he should kill and how. He was almost hypnotized by the demands; until he didn’t succeeded, he couldn’t think about anything else. Scarlet-red bloodspots were his tangerine sunsets, last cries of dying women were his cheerful giggles of children, the cold metal of the knife was his warmth of a fireplace.

Jung Ilhoon wasn’t himself anymore. He used to be a successful and very hardworking police officer but he couldn’t do his job well since the appearance of the siren. Not anymore. He was only a shell of a person he used to be.

Yet, people didn’t discover his secret, except one person.

He was an introvert in general, small wonder why he didn’t have any friends. On top of that, he didn’t have any relatives close-by. That’s why only his girlfriend could notice the change in his behaviour.

Since Ilhoon heard the voice for the first time, he spent more time at work than he already did. At least that’s what he said to his girlfriend. In reality, he didn’t really work more because he was with the voice. He was diligently killing people because he needed to obey the voice. Thanks to his disguise skills, he could follow every of his victims without being discovered. He became a criminal; he turned into one of those people whom he was chasing.

He was like a zombie. He was lifeless, emotionless and merciless. He wasn’t a human being anymore. He was more like a monster. Truth to be told, he didn’t enjoy the sight of the dead victims but he gained gratification from the process of killing others. Their screams, their cries and their bloodstains satisfied his cravings for death and violence.

Yet, when the voice told him about his next victim, something seemed odd to him. Maybe there was a little humanity left in him and that’s why he didn’t want to outright kill the person.

“In order to completely earn my trust, you have to kill the one who’s the closest to you. That’s how I know you are loyal to me and only to me.” The command was only these two sentences; firm and unquestionable like always. He knew what he had to do next.

Ilhoon knew what the order meant; his parents had died a long time ago and he was an only child, so he didn’t have brothers, nor sisters. He didn’t have any friends, nor anyone who was closer to him at the police station. The voice really wanted him to kill whom he loved the most – his girlfriend.

The sensible part of him disappeared the moment the voice showed up in his life, so there was no way he could actually realise what killing his girlfriend would do to him. He didn’t know if it was wrong or right; he only knew what the voice wanted from him. Due to the fact that the voice wanted him to kill her, he had to do it nevertheless.

However, when it came to actually killing the girl, he couldn’t bring himself to do it for some reason. There was always something wrong with his plan, let it be a witness at the crime scene or the wrong timing. When he spent already too much time trying to find the perfect time and way to kill his girlfriend, the voice whispered into his ears:

“I’ll give you another chance but this is the last one.”

“You’re not as evil as people think you are.” Ilhoon confessed with stern face. He felt as if he was obligated to compliment the siren.

Little did he know, the voice was only messing with him for one last time.

“No. I’m much worse.” The siren’s voice rose higher as Ilhoon’s heart was beating faster than ever.

Out of the blue, he felt like there was someone suffocating him. He couldn’t breathe properly and his lungs were on fire. He never felt so much pain before. The last thing he thought of before he went to sleep forever was his girlfriend and how happy he was because she stayed alive.

Jung Ilhoon was found dead in an abandoned alley by a passer-by the following day.

His case remained unsolved forever.

[midnightkpoptrash-blog]

The secret pt. 2

Here’s the next part of my attempt. I hope you’re going to like it. 

Thanks!

Pairing: Ilhoon x Y/N (ft. Eunkwang - other members may appear)

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You tried to ignore the looks in his eyes and you decided to turn your back to him. You were obviously annoyed with the waiting. At moment, when you were about to take out your phone and call Eunkwang – he showed up before your eyes.

“Finally, you know that I don’t have much time. I need to get back to…” you started your own monologue, but he jumped right in.

“Y/N, not here. No one can hear. Let’s talk in private“ and with that you stand up from the chair and followed him. You already forgot about Ilhoon and his curious look, until…

“Hyung!” you heard him behind you.

The look in Eunkwang’s eyes were unreadable, however at the moment he looked at you, you knew that he’s terrified. He was afraid that his members going to hate him. He said it himself, the night before. Eunkwang wasn’t sure how to tell them the truth, so he tried to earn both of you some time. But it looked like that plan is not going to work out.

“Ilhoonie, what’s up?“ Eunkwang tried to maintain his composure. His manager tried to get you in a room, while your brother tried to catch Ilhoon’s attention. He failed.

“Hyung, why are you here with her? Is she really your girlfriend? Hyung…why didn’t you tell us?“ he pushed him with his words. Tried to get some answer out of him. As soon as the first question left his mouth, you and your brothers manager froze on the spot. It was obvious, that you couldn’t get out of this without some kind of an explanation. Ilhoon was determined, it was for sure.

“Argh, fine. Ilhoon, come with us, please,“ said your brother. And you immediately knew what he was thinking. The only way was to tell him the truth.

  You spend an hour in that room. You, your brother, Ilhoon and the managers of the company. It was hard for Ilhoon to accept that his own member didn’t tell him, that he has a sister. But after you explained everything to him, he understood. You told him everything. You explained why he didn’t hear about you all this years, why didn’t you come to Seoul and why did you meet with Eunkwang. You wasn’t sure about this at all. You started to be affraid about the whole situation - someone new knowing your secret. And if that wasn’t enough, at the end of the meeting they suggested for you to move in with Eunkwang. But the catch was, that not just with him - with the whole group. You didn’t know if you’re ready to make that step. It wasn’t just about you, it could affect the whole group, the company and every single fan. You were more confused than ever.

After one long sleepless night you decided that it was the best to solve the situation without more rumors around your being. It was obvious, that it’s going to be hard, but you were willing to do anything, try everything. You weren’t worried just about yourself, of course.

You called Eunkwang, if you can meet up. And that’s why you were now in this coffee shop seated in the darkest corner, anxiously waiting. But it wasn’t your brother who made his entrance. It was Ilhoon, to much of your surprise.

“Hi, Y/N,” he said with his low voice. “I’m sorry, that it’s me and not hyung, but he couldn’t make it. He has a last-minute schedule.”

“No, it’s fine,” you answered. “You know about all of this anyway, so it’s fine.”

“Then tell me, what’s the issue?” Ilhoon asked while he leaned closer to you. You wasn’t sure of your feelings about this, though.

“I’ve decided that I’m going to move in with you all. It’s the best for everyone. There’s no other choice. And honestly, I’m willing to try anything.”

The look in his eyes was unreadable. At least you weren’t sure that if it’s pity or something else.

“Y/N,” he said your name after a while. “Are you 100% sure about this? You need to be. Isn’t it going to be hard for you? On you? Can you really manage it?”

“I need to, Ilhoon. There’s no other way.”

You stayed there talking about changes you and them need to do until your phone started to ring.

“I’m sorry, I need to go… it’s…you know.” And with that you stormed out and left Ilhoon looking after you deep in his thoughts.

®

[vitaminbtob]

[01:30]

Lying in bed in each other's embrace, Ilhoon holds on to you a little tighter when you are about to leave. "Stay!" he begs and buries his head in the curve of your neck, not wanting to let you go, the ache in his voice was enough to convince you to spend the night.

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Gif not mine

[midnightkpoptrash-blog]

The secret pt. 1

Here’s a first part of the new series I’m trying to put together. 

It came to my mind after realizing that there’s almost NONE fiction about BTOB. MELODYs we seriously need to work on ourselves.

I’m hoping, that it’s not going to be boring, guys. Just bear with me.

Feedback appreciated. Thanks a lot!

(R)

Pairing: Ilhoon x Y/N (ft. Eunkwang - other members may appear)

It wasn’t hard to be a sister of an idol at all. At least until the day you moved to Seoul. That was when everything went down on the rabbit hole. ONE, one meeting for a coffee at the less known coffee shop was enough. His fans (maybe just one) noticed you two and all sites were full of your photos at the morning. If this wasn’t enough for your brother and his company to freak out, then the headlines definitely were. Every fansite, every website and every gossip site assumed, that you’re his girlfriend.

Firstly, you laughed at those rumors because you know better than being mad about something this pitiful. But then you realized how bad it could be for him. Not just that the fans are going to think, that he abandoned them, but the press is never going to leave his side. You knew, that there’s no other way out of this, just to confess.

The public didn’t know about you and there was a good reason for that. You, your brother and his company managed to hide you even from the smartest and biggest fans of the group. You had a feeling that even the members didn’t know about your existence.

You didn’t blame him, there wasn’t a reason that. He did it for your comfort and peace, you understood. On the other hand, that was what you were asking for. On the day when turned out, that he’s going to be a big one in the industry, you told him not to mention you anywhere. Of course the company knew about you, but they were kind enough to help you out and erase traces behind you. 

So know you were here, sitting on this chair waiting for Eunkwang and his manager to show up at the company. He called you the night before to tell you, that he and his company need to see you. It wasn’t a surprise for you. Of course. But you had a really weird feeling, at least now. 

The beeping of your phone dragged you out of your thoughts. 

Eunkwangie oppa: Y/N, we are running late. Sorry, but you need to wait.

You sighed as you put your phone back in your pocket and continued to watch people passing by. After a few minutes you started to feel someone’s eyes on you. It was making you uncomfortable. You were ready to turn around and give a person a piece of your mind, but when you looked at him your words caught up in your throat. 

It was Jung Ilhoon, one of Eunkwang’s members. You knew who he was, of course, but why was he looking at you. You were sure, that he doesn’t know that you are his sister. Then you remembered. It was obvious, that he saw those articles. But you had no idea why he had so much interest in his eyes.