#illupro

[noonbrainrot]

Prosciutto: Hey everyone. I’m gay.

Illuso: yeah no shit

Risotto: Easy, Illuso. Thank you for telling us, Prosciutto. We love you.

Pesci: proud of you :)

Gelato: I just hit someone with Sorbet’s car

[noonbrainrot]

Illuso: do u have peacock

Prosciutto: The bird

Prosciutto: ?

Prosciutto: I could get one

Illuso: THE STREAMING PLATFORM?

[noonbrainrot]

Prosciutto: We’ll talk later, I’m on 1%

Illuso: Battery?

Prosciutto: No, patience

Illuso: oh

[dranightz]

" 11.11 💗 "

[squadrah]

randomiser #2 - illuso and prosciutto

Send me two characters and I will tell you what my ideal ship dynamic is for these characters!

Come to think of it, this might be one of the most normal relationships Prosciutto could ever have with another person. I have no other ships posted here (yet) for comparison, but bear with me. If Prosciutto wanted to work with a partner whose Stand can get him into places and help hide any evidence, Illuso would be a spectacular match because he himself can safely hide in a mirror to avoid The Grateful Dead OR he can trap targets inside the mirror world so Prosciutto can kill them in there without making a mess. Formaggio can do these things too, but Man In The Mirror makes it so much safer for Illuso, which would make him feel like he is better than Formaggio, and also way closer to Prosciutto's level than most of his teammates.

Now, I want this to give Illuso ideas; I want this to translate to him as having a solid chance with the man. Illuso knows deep down that he is a mess, you cannot tell me he doesn't have a ton of issues, but he feels so close to striking gold in this particular case that he is willing to put in some effort. To his mind, TGD is not an issue at all (whereas it is something most of the others would have to keep in mind), so he can focus all his attention on observing Prosciutto the Person and making himself as pleasant a companion as he can by being polite and showing off his skills and intelligence.

Prosciutto would notice this, and while I prefer this ship more one-sided than I do most others, he has too much life coach spirit not to lean into it because Illuso clearly wants to become more professional, and it seems that the only person with whom he can reach his full potential is Prosciutto himself, so he is almost obligated to cultivate Illuso’s desire for improvement. He starts paying more attention to Illuso the Person and his appearance and methods, and they find themselves in this exchange where Illuso feels all suave for having charmed Prosciutto and Prosciutto gets a lot of satisfaction out of cooperating with Illuso and acing every mission.

Then, one time, Prosciutto suggests they celebrate after a hit well done and Illuso is like yeah, let's have sex, and Prosciutto was thinking dinner or drinks but he's like, you know what, sure. He then turns out to be the first person ever who is properly, honest to god playing with Illuso's hair instead of grabbing and pulling by default (those roaming hands were made for caressing things), and Illuso is in heaven.

[askprosciutto]

Get it? Because Prosciutto turns old?

And Illuso's hot and in love with him, old or not.

[askprosciutto]

Can’t get Illuso off my mind...!

[crybabybrando]

girlfriend of stealing all your shirts from highschool

i hope my italian isnt total garbage, native and fluent speakers feel free to snipe me