this has me so fucked up actually.
like the moment i saw the long shot of Aph with Laurance i KNEW it was from Garroths pov
and like. with the context, we all KNOW Aph was freaking the hell out. she was NOT okay. and Laurance is literally like. soul-sworn-tied to her. and also a really good person, so we ALSO know that he would (currently) not do anything frisky with her.
but Garroth doesn't know that. wanna know what he thinks he knows?
this is the reaction of a man who thinks those two are SLEEPING together. the love of his life Aphmau, with his recent best friend Laurance.
THIS IS MADE MORE PAINFUL. CONSIDERING PRIOR CONTEXT.
because we all know what option was picked. i mean theyre all kinda similar, considering the context. but Aphmau says "I just have too much going on to worry about love."
which yknow. is reasonable. i dont blame her shes going through a LOT.
Garroth was within earshot of this. Garroth the guy who has been in love with her for several months. Garroth the guy who tried and failed to propose to her over 60 episodes ago atp. Garroth, who is EXTREMELY BAD AT BEING EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE.
and he gets cucked. he literally gets cucked.
BY AN ILLUSION. man i want this to have actually happened. NOT GARROTH WITNESSING IT, but i mean season 1 laurmau kiss yes please. but also. do you know how fucked up that would make ANYONE feel. ANYONE AT ALL.
while yes, the betrayal was a little rushed/forced/silly stupid in some parts, lets be for real. Garroths reaction was so fucking realistic. being mentally ill after witnessing the love of your life kissing someone who isnt you. being genuinely so upset that someone you wanted to get with lied about not being ready for a relationship, meanwhile getting into one behind your back. watching her go home with your friend, late at night, getting reaall close and chummy.
yeah i dont blame him for thinking they were shagging.
i dont blame him for being fucking ruined over this actually.
and honestly? it was really interesting to see that an entire character was invented to prey upon Garroth's weakness, and essentially groom him into joining Zane's ranks.
Velius(?)/Lillian was a fun, subtle plot point. a spy designed to sow discord in a visibly minimal way. that freak couldve said ANYTHING to Garroth. that freak only needed to say "you can talk to me," and said freak did, and Garroth spilled everything. obviously.
and like. ugh. anything couldve been said to Garroth. any form of affirmation, praise, finger pointing, we dont really know.
and the scary thing is thats kinda realistic too. because in all honesty, we dont know who is manipulating people we know. we dont know what abusive situations certain friends have ended up in because sometimes its not obvious. sometimes we forget to reach a hand out to people who may need us because of shit going on in our own lives.
and like. shit dude. fuck. poor Garroth. poor, sweet, lonely Garroth. due to his crushed heart, his crushed faith, his crushed confidence, he cant even go out and help his village. he doesnt even go see his Lady. he doesnt even attend the town meeting for finding Nicole.
and this is probably because of Lillian. who, at this point, could already have Garroth strung and defeated.
fuuckk.. the implications... the implications.. all of the implications.
it hurts a considerable amount. oh it does indeed.
Garroth fully, entirely believes Laurance and Aphmau are together. he fully believes theyve been keeping it a secret from him and the villagers. he doesnt know for how long, but i bet he has a few suspicions on when this "relationship started."
thats. fuckkk shit shit thats actually soul crushing. especially knowing that Laurance and Garroth are both aware that the other has affections for Aphmau, and probably have a mutual agreement going on.
AND, Lillian is right there to whisper into Garroth's ear that his friends have betrayed him. that freak was SO ready to screw Garroth over and mess with his broken heart and mind. instead of Cadenza being able to help Garroth through it, or Aphmau coming in clutch to dissuade Garroth's false perceptions, an entire outsider comes along and does nothing to disconfirm the heresy.
in fact, Lillian likely made Garroth even more high strung and anxious about Laurmau.
i know people have had friends who, instead of telling them "hey maybe stop. that thought is super unrealistic and bad for you to think," decide for some reason that its a GREAT thing to say "yeah, those delusions? theyre real. i havent seen any proof myself but youre CLEARLY right and i agree that youre completely fucked. sorry dude. i dont have any solutions either, only bad faith and animal cruelty." we strongly dislike people like that in this house by the way. those kinds of people will ALWAYS be bad to hang around.
BUT. BECAUSE GARROTH HAS BEEN CUT OFF FROM ALL SUPPORT SYSTEMS. AND HE'S EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE--all of that repression completely exploded on him, we all know it--AND NOT FUNCTIONING. HE HAD NO ONE THERE TO HELP HIM OR SAVE HIM FROM LILLIAN. HE HAD NO ONE TO TELL HIM "hey those are bad thoughts. also aphmau was at the baby shower ALL NIGHT what the FUCK do you mean you saw her kissing Laurance," BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS CONVINCED HE WAS PHYSICALLY ILL. AND BECAUSE LILLIAN CONVINCED APHMAU AND CADENZA THAT THEY HAD IT AAAAALL UNDER CONTROL. THE FUCKING BASTARD.
so yeah while i think we couldve had. twenty episodes of buildup instead of like. eight. at least, imo, Garroth's manipulation/grooming to join Zane's side was kinda sensible in a way. despite it being mostly off screen, generally we also dont see the manipulation irl. its often behind closed doors, or in places where people wouldnt immediately pick up that it was manipulation.
i feel so fucking bad for Garroth. but at the same time i love him and his dumb, emotionally constipated self. and i can appreciate the effort put into his characterisation. and i love him
you get some screenshots of cuck garroth. my weird sleep deprived rant is finishedddd now look at gargar. gart. garrf. look at himmmm ugh i love him and his stupid. ughh
its also really funny to consider that no one ever tells him that laurmau isnt a thing... properly. or that like laurmau isnt a couple couple. NO ONE. TELLS HIM. NO ONE. WHAT??????? anyway i love that, laurmau forever. maybe garmau too. maybe garrancemau. but also laurmau is really hot and im biased shuuut uuuppppp *blushes and runs away*
