Is this what i really wanted?

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Is this what i really wanted?
I'm tired of guys thinking they can rule over me just because they're bigger than me and male. I'm a female, but if you piss me off the wrong way I will smack your butt into next week.
I swear if I get another comment about my crush or how much I talk about him I will stab someone. I am sorry. But I get a little excited. And I tend to talk about them all the fucking time. God my bad. Excuse me assholes. Lemme go feel bad for the way my mind works.
I HAD TO LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS OKAY! I’M NOT FUCKING NORMAL! OKAY?!?!? jUST LEAVE ME BE WITH MY WEIRDNESS. SORRY FUCK.
Can we please cut the bullshit and admit that this is killing me?
It really pisses me off when people invite themselves to come with me and then I feel like I'm not even enjoying the time I wanted to spend with a friend. I feel like the outsider of the group and I was the one to get this trip together. I never get invited anymore and I feel like I'm 4th pick at best. Whatever, fuck this shit, it'll be done with after high school.
Let me get this straight...... you get mad at me when I said band sluts annoy me because they could have "daddy issues" or "forced to be a slut." Yet everytime you see me, you constantly make fun of me for saying bands saved my life and you make fun of people who self harm. Dont give me that bullcrap that you "actually care about people" when all you do is constantly make me want to relapse because you makes me believe I'm a joke. My whole family is f'd up and my dad is constantly bringing me down saying I will never get married or amount to anything So apparently it's okay to sleep around because you have "daddy issues" but yet self harming yourself makes you a freak and not a real person???. You know what. F you. Tell me when you decide to grow up and stop making fun of people who have been through enough shit in their life