hihihi!! ik i always fool around on this account and have been talking abt the beach boys a lot recently. something has just come to my attention and i felt like it needed to be talked about. there was some online discussion about “if brian wilson groomed his first wife (marilyn).” i myself dove into it and have created some form of explanation about the origins of their relationship, when they were married, and why it was “allowed” during that time period, despite it being very strange now.
it should be known before reading that marilyn was NOT 18 when they were married, which is why it is controversial. another disclaimer, i’m not an expert on this material at all. however, i took the time to do my research and wanted to share it. all of the information was typed on my ipad’s notes app and transfered over.
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BRIAN AND MARILYN’S BDAYS
Brian’s birthday: June 20th of 1942 | Marilyn’s birthday: February 6th of 1947
Making them: 5 years, 4 months, 14 days apart.
AGES WHEN THEY MET
They met August of 1962
June of 1962 Brian would be 20
February of 1962 Marilyn would be 15
Meaning she was 15, he was 20 when they met.
AGES WHEN THEY WERE MARRIED
They got married on December 7th of 1964
Marilyn turned 17 in February of 1964
Brian turned 22 in June of 64
Making her 17 and him 22 on their wedding day.
WHY WAS THIS ALLOWED?!?
The “legal majority” in the state of California in the 60s regarding adulthood was 21. Meaning, you were considered an adult at age 21. Not 18. Brian was still considered a child under state law just 5 months before, but was old enough to get married without parental consent in December. Given Brian’s home life, it is unclear if marrige would be in the question or not. That is (I think) why it played out like that.
As for her, Marilyn needed a parent and court signature of consent (more on why her parents gave consent below.) However, the court LIKELY gave consent because in December, Brian was a little over 5 months past 21…so the court figured him a “fresh adult.” AKA: not a threat in those times.
BUT WHY DID HER PARENTS ALLOW IT??
Brian was trusted immensely by her parents for being polite and caring towards their daughter. Examples being: 1. He’d written and produced songs for a group Marilyn was in called “The Honeys.” 2. Brian AND his brothers befriended Marilyn and her sister prior to any romantic connection and would often hang out. Carl at this time, was Marilyn’s age (which adds to why they would hang out.) 3. Her parents knew that Brian (and all the Wilson brothers for that matter) were being abused and neglected emotionally at home. Maybe they felt bad for him, or were amazed at his “resilience and politeness” that he displayed dispite mental turmoil. Either way, parents in all time periods can be pushy about marriage, but especially in the 50s-60s.
CONCLUSION:
Different times different crimes. He was barely an adult by old state standards and she was almost an adult by now standards. Unfortunately, the average age for marriage in 1962 was 22 for men and 20 for women. However, it was common for many girls to get married right out of high school. For she, getting a head start, was just beginning her senior year. Was there a grooming situation going on? The evidence points to: likely not (still possible!) Her parents were heavily involved in their early relationship, and strongly pushed for the marriage. It seems unlikely that they’d push for someone who was explicitly making romantic advances towards their daughter if she was uncomfortable. Take that statement as a prayer. I’d hope they’d want the best for her.
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i really respect brian wilson. he has been a huge influence on my life recently and finding this out is just proof how complicated he was and the 60s were as a whole. i, again, am not an expert on this. i simply wanted to hold him accountable for these decisions, even if they were socially acceptable at the time.
i will continue to post with love of brian and the rest of the band because their music has impacted me positively, and the creative space of the group is what i focus on the most. i do not want to infantaize ANY of the members by doing this, but i feel my stance and a proper debunk was in order.
please know that any and all information and comments about this topic are appreciated. thank you for reading and i sincerely apologize if something displayed inaccuracies.
