I met somone last month who was really cool, and who really liked me: they asked me out because they thought I was cute.
We went on (4) dates, which were my first romantic irl dates in 14 years; they were the first times I felt like a proper human being, with blood and bones and warmth and everything. I had my first orgasm around another person with them; they're the first person to give me a birthday date (in the park, where we had a picnic and flew kites). I wanted to tell them "I โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ you".
They told me they know they can't be with someone into ageplay, and that our romantic relationship must end. What they don't know is that this is my end. I would have gone to the ends of the earth with her, but now I understand that I just need to be gone from the earth, that this is the end.
I haven't eaten since Wednesday, 4/9, my birthday. I ate leftovers from our picnic and I think that sounds like a great last meal to me: I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible. I've stopped drinking water and taking diuretics: at least then I can stop shedding tears.
๐To my final You(s):
๐ I'm sorry I ruined something important, again.๐
โค๏ธPlease remember it's about the memories we make, not the memories we lose; in that way, ABC always lives in/fo(u)r Dโค๏ธ
๐๐๐๐ฆAnd, to my one and only Bird: I'll always love you Bird-let: I hope now you can be finally free of my burdens and get to fly far without my worries๐ฆ๐๐๐
๐๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐ฉAnd to my last people in the world, all the people on this blog,๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐ฉ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐จ
I'm so sorry to let this community down; please do your best to remember the happy, innocent life I tried to bring to the world through here. Please use whatever hope I had, where you can when you need it as you do.
Or don't, it's ok either way. You are all such special people: please keep finding each other and filling the cracks (or, cribs) of emptiness in the lives of others. I'm so proud to have been a little: I brought my littletude into every aspect of my life and it was the most rewarding choice I ever made. I regret nothing: bringing my authentic, open, naive self to the world was brave and it gave me opportunities I never would have dreamed of. It's unfortunate the world (in *so, so, so* many more ways, convergent on now, then just Her) hurt me for understanding who I was, but it's more fortunate that I (and we) finally did find my(/our)self(s). Please remember:
"Life is about the memories we make (in the times we're bounded by), not the memories we lose (by the bounds of our time)."
I love you all from the depths of my soul.๐
๐Here's to being forever free from being broken and free from the pain of breaking,๐
๐Love,๐
Ally
๐
