Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.
Achilles: *Loud gasp*
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Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.
Achilles: *Loud gasp*
Agamemnon: *breathes*
Achilles: *hisses and snuggles closer to Patroclus*
Achilles: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Patroclus: Twelve, actually.
Achilles: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Patroclus: Yours!
Achilles: That's right: no one's
this would be funny if you ignore what happens right after this
Achilles: hi, I'm Achilles. and you are?
Patroclus: not as straight as i thought apparently.
Odysseus: I miss my wife. Menelaus: I miss my wife too. Achilles: Me too. Agamemnon: Nah, I’m fine.
Achilles: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Patroclus: AS ENEMIES?!
Thetis: You can't marry Patroclus. He is not worthy of you!
Achilles: It seems that someone will not be invited to the wedding.