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Wonka, teaching Charlie to drive: Okay, you’re driving and you see Slugworth and Prodnose in the street. What do you hit?

Charlie: Oh definitely Slugworth.

Wonka: The brakes, dear boy, you hit the brakes.

Willy: Hang on, hear me out on this one... Water. But with p u l p.

Charlie: I don't- I don't think that's a good idea...

Willy: CLEARLY you don't see the bigger picture, Charlie boy. Even if it's not a good idea, someone has to discover that it's not a good idea :)

Charlie: Why are you smiling?

Wonka: What? Can’t I just be happy?

Violet: Mike tripped in the parking lot.

Mike: I hate you with every inch of my body

Wonka: That’s not a lot of inches

Charlie: I don’t know why everyone is so scared of you, no one’s ever treated me as kindly as you do!

Wonka: ...That’s.... actually really depressing.... I hope you understand that I am now legally required to keep you.

Mrs. Bucket: You deserve a reward for putting up with me

Mr. Bucket: Darling, you are my reward

Wonka: You deserve a reward for putting up with me

Charlie: Damn right I do

Wonka, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: Get the FUCK out of my car

Mrs. Bucket: What did you two do?

Charlie: Okay, but you can’t be mad at us.

Mrs. Bucket: What. Did you do?

Wonka: Okay, first. We were minding our own business-

Mrs. Bucket: BULLSHIT!

Wonka and Charlie: WE WERE!

#incorrect catcf