#incorrect dirk gently

[holistic-quotes]

Todd: you spent all our money on THIS?!

Dirk, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: they live outside, Todd. They need this

[sleepygreywolf]

Dirk: please I’ve never had a friend before

Todd: I’m your friend

Dirk: well I’ve never had a boyfriend before either….

[origami-quotes]

Tina: how do Todd and Dirk usually get out of these messes?

Farah: they don’t. They just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one.

[x-incorrect-x]

Tina: Goodbye! Thank you, old lady Susan!

Susie Boreton: Dont call me old lady.

Tina: Yes sir, young man!

[meldidntlisten]

Dirk: I payed for the whole speedometer I'm going to use the whole speedometer

[iamteamponcho]

Todd: I really like someone, and I flirt with them all the time! I really don’t understand how they haven’t figured it out by now

Dirk: You have to be really obvious. Like, just say “I love you”

Todd: You really think so?

Dirk: Yup

Todd: I love you

Dirk: They’d have to be a total idiot for that to go over their head

[holisticy]

I’m as happy as a clam that wants to kill some people.

The Mage, probably

[dirkgentlyandfriends]

Estevez: You are without a doubt the worst detective I have

ever heard of.

Dirk: ...but you have heard of me.