#incorrect ikevamp

[natimiles]

I need this to happen:

Arthur: *say something obvious* MC: no shit, Sherlock Arthur:

[koco-coko]

Vlad: its pride month comte you know what that means Comte: what do you want to do like Comte: bite more men? Comte: what

[touch-starved-apprentice]

why putting me/my mc in the 1890s would be a nightmare [ikevamp]

(Mozart’s route):

Mozart: Why are your shoes so...tall?

Meg: to do this

Meg: *pushes Arthur off of the chair next to her*

Arthur: WHY

Meg: you tried to bite me last night and you don’t expect me to be salty?!

Mozart:

Mozart: I think we’re going to get along well.

———

(Mozart’s Route):

Mozart: Please don’t threaten to fight anyone at this ball.

Meg: No promises

Meg: *blasting Joan Jett* I don’t give a damn bout my bad reputation.

———

Meg: and so she threatened to hit me and I was like “deadass? on god?” and she swung so I drop kicked her

Le Comte: Ma cherie, do you need therapy?

Meg: I mean yeah but that’s not the point

———

Meg: hey

Meg: you wanna talk about mental health until two in the morning?

Vincent: yes :D

———

Theo: He wasn’t going to pay the artist well so I bought it before he could. He got angry and tried to start a fight, so I finished it.

Vincent: tea sis

Theo: wh

Vincent: kick his ass king

Theo: what did you teach him?!

Meg: lmao nothing he taught himself

———

Meg: be gay, do crime.

Dazai: what crimes are we committing?

Meg: I’m between tax fraud and arson. Maybe overthrow the government?

Arthur: I think you’d be particularly good at vandalism.

Meg: oh I absolutely would

Issac: can we please, for once, NOT?

———

Meg: at least four of you are bottoms or switches.

Sebastian: Oh, really?

Arthur: Prove it, then.

Meg: Easy

Meg: Mozart and Issac can do math, but

can’t drive or cook

Meg: Vincent and Issac can’t sit like

normal people

Meg: and every time I do this *pulls on Arthur’s collar until he’s face level with her*

Arthur: please step on me

Meg: He does that.

Dazai: sounds legitimate

———

Jean: I’ve never had a reading done before.

Meg: oh honey

Meg: *pulls three of swords reversed, death, and the devil reversed*

Jean: That...does not look good.

Meg: no, actually, this is really good. You’re letting go of past pain and bad habits in favor of a fresh start. damn, dude, how much self loathing do you carry?

Jean: yes.

———

Theo: Hondje.

Meg: Theodorkus.

Le Comte: I wasn’t aware you two disliked eachother.

Theo: What are you talking about?

Meg: He’s like my best friend now dude.

———

Arthur: I promise, if you let me have a taste, I can bring you the best pleasure you-HEY

Meg: *bonks him with a sketchbook* GO TO HORNY JAIL, SIMP.

———

Meg: I once made my homophobic great uncle stfu

Theo: Huh?

Meg: He was looking at my pride patch and had this look like he wanted to say shit but it was the first time he’d seen me in years and I looked scary, goth, and taller than him and I have him this look like “talk shit get hit” and he shut his mouth real fast.

Theo: H A THE HONDJE DOES HAVE A BACKBONE

[incorrect-ikemen]

Dazai, holding a salt sachet: It's just a little sodium chloride.

Isaac: Actually, Dazai, it's salt.

Dazai: Yeah. As I said, sodium chloride.

Isaac, taking the sachet: This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terms for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

[ihaveadesiretoshitpost]

Isaac: My mother wasn't even a woman. She was a one star yelp review come to life.

Dazai: Uhm-

Isaac: Dazai she was as nurturing as a steak knife.

[incorrect-ikemen-quotes]

Mozart: walks in wearing a medical mask

Vincent: what are you doing

Mozart: if Arthur breathes on me I might get ill

Arthur: but I’m not sick?

Mozart: it’s a simple but incurable disease called thot

[tartagilicious]

Arthur, at starbucks: can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhh, seven espresso shots

Issac, behind him: Jesus Christ just do cocaine

[twink-vampires]

Jean : No running in this christian household!

Jean : The only place we’re in a rush to is heaven!