#incorrect scream

[jackietaylorslesbianthoughts]

Sidney: You can’t kill people, it’s illegal!

Billy: Oh no, Stu, Sidney says this is illegal. I hadn’t thought of that.

Stu: *laughs*

Billy: That was sarcasm. I had thought of that.

[incorrectfandom]

Amber: I’m not soft for anyone Mindy! Mind your own business!

Mindy:

Tara: Amber… I can’t sleep…

Amber: I’ll be right there love! Get warm, put on pyjamas and get cosy! I will be there within 4 minutes with some food and water.

Mindy: …

Mindy: You’re not soft?

Amber:

Amber: Fuck

[ghoul333]

Billy: check out my post jail hands, see? i’m not the killer. silly goose. 

Billy, later that night: okay lol it’s me

[sun-spark]

Mason: *side eyeing Theo*

Mason: *to Liam* So, you slept with the deceased. 

Liam: *offended noise*

Theo: *deadpan* Yeah, necrophilia is a real problem.

Liam: *louder offended noise*

Corey: I am so fucking done with you three.

(paraphrase from Scream, s1e1.)

[jackietaylorslesbianthoughts]

Stu: You’re mad at me.

Billy: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

Stu: Come one everyone knows that’s worse!

[jackietaylorslesbianthoughts]

Wes, attempting to flirt with Tara: Hey, Tara, I like your top.

Amber: I’m her top. Can I help you?

Mindy: *spits out her drink*

[jackietaylorslesbianthoughts]

Sidney: Please, these gays they are trying to murder me.

[jackietaylorslesbianthoughts]

au where everyone’s alive and stu and billy are getting married

also btw this is post scream 6 so all the characters from each movie are included in the wedding/bachelor party and mentioned in this incorrect quote

Billy: Randy can I talk to you about my wedding for a second?

Randy: Need help choosing a suit? Sparkly gold can’t go wrong.

Billy: No to all of that.

Billy: Look, Stu is about to ask you to be his best man. I need you to say yes and I need you to act surprised.

Randy: No problem. Check this out: What? What? Best- best man? Alright I’ll work on it.

Billy: Good, cause that sucked.

Billy: Anyway, Sidney doesn’t approve of the wedding and honestly it is killing me.

Randy: I’m sure you’re just reading into it.

Billy: No.

[EARLIER]

Sidney: What are you doing! Stu is nuts!

[NOW]

Randy: Ah, so not reading into it at all.

Billy: She thinks we’re rushing into things, but we’re not. I love Stu. Every time I see him my heart just explodes.

Randy: Wow that’s some intense love stuff.

Billy: Anyway, I think Sidney would like him if he actually got to know him, so during the bachelor party, I need you to show her the real Stu.

Randy: Billy Loomis, I promise you this I will make sure Sid loves him.

Billy: Great. Crap! Here comes Stu. You never saw me. Act surprised.

Stu: Hey Randy, Come here. I got a question for you.

Randy, standing up: Sure.

*Stu pulls Randy close*

Randy: Oh, that’s very close for a question.

Stu: Randy Meeks, will you do me the honor of being my best man?

Randy: Best man? Stu, this is all so sudden!

Stu: Billy told you?

Randy: Yeah. But I would be honored.

Stu: Thank god. I’m gonna kiss you now.

Randy: Oh, you don’t have to- *Stu kisses him on the forehead* Already did it.

Stu: That seals it.

Randy: So who are thinking about inviting to the bachelor party? Maybe, like, Sidney, or I don’t know Sidney’s great. Or probably Sidney is available we could ask him.

Stu: Sure, I was thinking almost everyone. Except Chad, Billy called dibs on him.

[MEANWHILE]

Chad: Maid of honor? Yes, a million times, yes! It would be an honor. Oh my god, that’s why they call it that.

Billy: Great, but I specifically said, “co-maid-of- honor” because I am also asking Sam and Tara.

Chad: I guess that’s okay if you want to water down the Chad Meeks-Martin with a couple of ice cubes.