#incorrecthewitcherquotes

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.

[sofuckingmoe]

JASKIER: Alright, guys, we have to be careful. Someone here is possessed by an owl.

GERALT: Who?

JASKIER: That’s the thing, we don’t--

JASKIER:

[sofuckingmoe]

Geralt: 'Have kids' they said. 'It'll be fun' they said

Ciri, from the kitchen: PUT IT OUT! PIT IT OUT!

Jaskier: IT'S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER!! GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!

Ciri: It's called a fire extinguisher. FIRE. EXTINGUISHER

-glass shatters. Jaskier screams-

Geralt: Don't have kids. Don't

[sofuckingmoe]

Geralt, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with seven espresso shots.

Jaskier, next in line: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.