#incorrectjaskier

[sofuckingmoe]

Geralt: Are you mad, Jaskier?

Jaskier: I hope the bus you threw me under swerves to hit you on the sidewalk.

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: I guess you could say I have..... fallen for you *winks*

Geralt: you literally just rolled down an entire flight of stairs... how are you even alive-

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: You know, sometimes it’s hard to notice red flags when you’re in a relationship. It’s like horse blinders. I once dated a man that didn’t believe in using a dyer, so he would nail wet clothes to the wall until they dried. How did I not know he was an idiot? How did I think “I love him!”?

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: I take it you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schooling.

Valdo Marx:

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: Sometimes I wonder why I’m with you.

Geralt, slightly panicking: Uhmm, really?

Jaskier: Yeah, but then I remember you’re an asshole like me and I can’t stop loving you.

Geralt: Good, I started to worry.

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: Hey, we could team up: Bi-curious and The Virgin.

Geralt: That's the world's saddest crime-fighting duo.

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: Did you hear that?

Geralt: No, hear what?

Jaskier: … Are you lying to make me feel better?

Geralt: Yeah, that was fucking terrifying! Let’s get this hunt over with!