#incorrectgeralt

[sofuckingmoe]

Geralt: Are you mad, Jaskier?

Jaskier: I hope the bus you threw me under swerves to hit you on the sidewalk.

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: Hey, we could team up: Bi-curious and The Virgin.

Geralt: That's the world's saddest crime-fighting duo.

[sofuckingmoe]

Jaskier: Did you hear that?

Geralt: No, hear what?

Jaskier: … Are you lying to make me feel better?

Geralt: Yeah, that was fucking terrifying! Let’s get this hunt over with!

[sofuckingmoe]

Geralt: 'Have kids' they said. 'It'll be fun' they said

Ciri, from the kitchen: PUT IT OUT! PIT IT OUT!

Jaskier: IT'S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER!! GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!

Ciri: It's called a fire extinguisher. FIRE. EXTINGUISHER

-glass shatters. Jaskier screams-

Geralt: Don't have kids. Don't

[sofuckingmoe]

Yen: Are you two seeing each other?

Jaskier: I don’t think so… Are we?

Geralt: No!

Jaskier: Huh.