Debunking the misinformation about Barbara Gordon Part 3: "Barbara Gordon is a physical and verbal abuser"
Welcome back to my talkshow about revealing the truths behind the misinformation that goes around about the splendid Barbara Gordon, alias Batgirl and Oracle!
In the previous episode, we talked about the misinformation going around about how Barbara victim blamed Dick Grayson for the Tarantula accident, and also covered the reason of their break up back then.
In this episode, we'll talk about another accusation against Barbara Gordon: The fact that she's a "psychical and verbal abuser", especially in the regards of her boyfriend Dick Grayson.
This is going to be a long ride, but do stick around if you want to know the truth behind the lies the internet is telling you!
We'll start with this, Nightwing #38 (1996), released on October 13, 1999.
This is, supposedly, a proof of Barbara being a verbal abuser.
But what actually happened? How did things go?
We can only know by picking up the comic and verify the sources ourselves! See why Barbara is acting like that and what's missing in this.
After getting locked/stuck in a pit with lots of his enemies in issues #36-#37, Nightwing manages to find his way out. And guess where he goes first? At the Clocktower, to Barbara.
Issue #38 opens with Dick hallucinating because of a fever, and immediately after that, we encounter the first image. Dick laying in bed, and Barbara telling him he's whining.
So what happens after that?
This is what was cut out:
Honestly... Just the first panel can be read as a playful thing, I don't know how people genuinely read it as serious.
Anyways...
You can tell that Barbara was joking around. Me? I read it as Barbara saying "whine whine whine" while playfully rolling her eyes.
You can see them smiling, joking with each other, the actual tenderness and Dick being grateful.
Where's the abuse? For... Joking around?
They're not a couple yet, but I know couples that joke around like that. Especially married ones who have been knowing each other for decades.
On with the second image!
Why is Barbara mad?
Dick tries to hint at them being something more, but Barbara is going through a difficult time because of her accident.
But she immediately "calms down", and they talk it out.
She tells him she needs time, Dick respect that. (They kiss later on in the issue, by the way.)
They had a moment that lasted 4 pages. And they communicated.
So where's the verbal abuse in all this? A "couple" joking around, having a bad moment for a few seconds and immediately talk it out together. This type of stuff happens in relationships! I can confirm, I had some and all different from one another.
Oh and wow, another case where the moment where Barbara cries gets cut out... I wonder why.
I'd say, first panels of accusations, debunked.
Let's move on to the next!
This is... Sigh. From the infamous Nightwing Annual 2 (1996), released on April 18, 2007.
I... I don't even know what to say.
Guys... It's training.
She's, like, "encouraging" him? I don't know how to describe it but... That is not verbal abuse, come on.
And as Dick kinda said, it would have been worse with Bruce, using real spikes. She's even using fake ones.
She's kinda right tho, any other villain wouldn't let him go because he's whining. This is superhero training to you. Or, well, military training too. Do you think they go easy in there? The instructor isn't hating you or verbally abusing you though...
She isn't going easy on him to make sure he wouldn't actually fall and get stabbed by a spike? Which means she cares but guess we'll ignore that?
Next one...
Batgirl #45 (2011), released on March 25, 2020.
The context to this?
Barbara is about to attend her best friend's wedding. She brought along her current boyfriend, Luke Fox.
And guess who suddenly shows up?
Dick Grayson! He asks Barbara to follow him out for a second, and at first, she refuses. But in the end, he convince her and they go out (Dick is jealous of Luke btw).
Barbara, rightfully, is mad. It's an important day and he suddenly shows up. He tries to shush her by placing his fingers on her lips, and she quite literally yeets him.
And that's NOT abuse, don't come at me saying it is. And if you'd want to be fair, Dick would be an harasser since he touched her lips while she clearly wasn't into it lol. In this case, Babs would be right. So no complaints.
Anyways...
Barbara sighs, and is about to leave. But Dick stops her, showing her that he stole the necklace she was wearing with a ring attached to it.
She gets mad, saying he's unbelievable, and he runs away.
Barbara changes into her Batgirl suit and the chasing starts.
That's how we get to this...
She isn't threatening to punch him over nothing. Guy literally showed up after faking his death, luring her out and away during an important day, making her chasing him and she's the bad guy???
Oh and another part where we totally cut out the fact that she cried!
He'll also try to kiss her, but she'll pull back and tell him he can't just come back, turn her life upside down and expect her to just fall into his arms.
But uuuh yeeeah Babs is the bad guy. I mean how dare she say that after Dick acted like a kid because he wanted her back? While she's also seeing someone else...Babs you evil woman huh.
Next one, let's see... Ah yes, Detective Comics #1000 (1937), released on March 27, 2019.
Thing is? I don't even need to give you the context for this, especially because there isn't much.
1. This is Tom King. Pick up his Wonder Woman run, read it, look at me in the eyes and tell me he can genuinely write women well.
2. Kate has never been to war, by the way.
3. ...I mean, I love Dick Grayson, I really do, but it is kinda difficult to date him. Like... It was ooc but an example can be seen in the whole episode 2 of this serie lol. Also they're both vigilantes, dating between heroes is never easy. Or at least not for everyone.
And this kinda seem like a "joke". Bad? Maybe, but a joke. What's the issue in this? This is supposed to be verbal abuse?
Now a tiny moment from Birds of Prey #18 (1999) (can't track down when it was released, apologies).
But how about the full page?
Dick kinda told Dinah Babs' real name. Without Babs' consent. She's probably mad about it, but throwing a plush of him is abuse...? It's not like she actually attacked him or anything... And he did do something without her knowing.
Another moment that I'm not going to include the pictures of are Nightwing #86-87 from my previous post. For #86, I've read people saying that Babs' getting mad at him made her horrible because "he was trying to be nice and help her". But Babs, in that moment, was going through a difficult time because of the accident. And Dick? That guy was supposed to rest. He was being reckless, and Barbara was worried about him. After so many times of him ignoring his health, she just snapped. And again, Devin Grayson did write them ooc a lot. And yes, characters can often get written ooc, unfortunately.
Ah, now we got Batgirl: Year One #3 (2003), released on February 5, 2003. There's actually more to uncover in this comic but let's start with this.
People usually show you only the page on the right, but since I still have a lot of pictures to add, I'll show you both pages together.
So from my understanding... Robin was about to attack her, she struck back first and... she's the abuser? What was she supposed to do, take the hit?
On to issue #4, released on March 12, 2003.
This panel is so famous to say she's an abuser... but does everyone know the context behind this? Why Barbara hit him?
Well...
I can't include panels for this but I'll explain. So first: Batman cuts her rope while she's swinging around, he did so because the rope would have got her injured but man didn't even bother to go save her from the fall I guess? Instead, Robin did. But they almost fell anyways until Bruce did save them.
Then, Bruce spray something on her face to make her pass out and they take her to the cave... When she wakes up, he interrogates her, tries to take off her mask, takes her down and leaves. That's... Kidnapping, by the way!
Then they test her.
And almost get her killed with real bullets and a bomb :).
It was...all a test, from the start. Bruce decided to play good cop and bad cop.
Honestly those two punches are nothing after what they did to HER. Almost getting her killed twice, kidnapping her, firing bullets on her...
If two guys I don't even really know were to kidnap me and almost get me killed, I'd fight them too man what...
You don't even have to buy the comic to verify this. Look up on YouTube: "Batgirl Year One Motion Comics" and there's the whole little serie.
Now we get to their fight in Batgirl #3 (2011), released on November 9, 2011.
This one is tricky.
Babs DID attack Dick.
This is Barbara who just got back to being Batgirl after getting back the use of her legs. While Bruce and Dick were simply worried about her, she saw it as them kinda underestimating her.
And when Dick tells her that they simply care and worry for her, she stops, realizing her mistake (and will, internally, somewhat apologize).
"I struck out at the people who love me. Because I wanted understanding more than pity. Because I wanted respect more than comfort."
She thought they were doubting her, pitying her, and we all know she doesn't like to be pitied.
Was it a good reason to attack? No.
But we're talking about the context here. I'm not justifying Barbara from beating him, but she didn't just do it for the fun.
She's vulnerable in this. Again, it doesn't justify her actions but do try to understand its context. She's flawed, and that's somewhat a good thing.
Still, from here to call her an abuser is wild.
It's also known that this is superhero comics, superheroes who even if friends or lovers they often fight each other. If you're looking for a couple who's no fight, just love with no problems at all... There are many romance novels for that, but in a superhero world you can't expect to see them not fighting. (Iirc, they're not even a couple during this. And oooh boy if I can list all the times a duo of friends or two lovers in DC who fought...)
Oh and I bet it won't be surprising if I say that the panel where Babs realize, under the one where Dick starts telling her that they're just worried about her, always gets cut out...
Now...whew, we're almost at the end!
We're moving on to Joker: The Last Laugh #3 (2001) (again, can't track the precise release date;;)
Okay so, again as for before, I'm not saying this to justify Barbara, but to explain the context instead of just throwing a "she's an abuser who always hits him for nothing!" Accusation.
To be fair to Babs for lashing out at Stephanie... they did think Tim died later on, and Steph will actually die... I think, in a way, that's Barbara showing her worry while under stress. She doesn't want Stephanie to die, or anyone at that, and she lashed out. Again, Babs is flawed, and Joker being out doing things after what he did to her? Not helping the situation.
Dick understands said frustration, and tries to talk with her.
Does it justify her kicking him? No. It kinda does explain (especially if you read the comic, where Dick is being a little too pushy about talking things out, even knowing Babs isn't in the mood. Sure, he was doing it because he cares about her, but he did give her a little push, let's say) why she did it.
Ah and she cried after that.
And last one for today...
Batgirl #54 (2000), released on July 28, 2004.
Actually?
While this moment makes me sad, it's not bad.
It shows how human the characters are, it's realistic. Again, Barbara is flawed, and that's okay. She's not perfect, and she snapped during a moment of frustration like anyone might do.
And after this?
Babs realized her mistake, and apologize. Two times.
What she said was wrong, but understandable. Everyone has their moments where they lash out, be it at friends, lovers or anyone they care about. Unfortunately, it happens.
Truth is?
You guys try to crucify Barbara for anything she does.
As you've seen in this post, there are moments where the accusations are a bunch of crap, and there are moments where it's somewhat fair, but exaggerated.
If you really want, however, I can play the same game.
I could pull out at least three panels of Kory hitting Dick, the Mirage accident, one panel of Helena hitting Dick and one of Dick hitting Helena.
And no, no context needed. Since we don't care when it comes to Barbara, why should I care when it comes to the other girls?
There's no "but Kory/Helena did it because—" if there isn't for Barbara.
You want to count Barbara's "attacks" as abuse? Do as you please, but be fair and count the other's attacks as abuse too.
And there's also no "but Babs did it more times", because if you really want to count everything as abuse, then it's not a game of who hit him more.
Do I also need to pull out every other DC couple who had fights, verbal and non?
Well, I won't.
Because for me, there's an explanation behind every if these moments, but it's not abuse.
Still, if that's not abuse coming from Kory and Helena (or Dick towards Helena), then it shouldn't be from Barbara too. How much are different from each other these moments, after all?
So many moments in this list and only two of them are actually "bad"... I'm not justifying all of her actions, but guys the context is important seriously... Something funny is also how you can discuss the "psychical abuse" accusations, but the "verbal abuse" ones falls quite quickly.
Sigh.
Honestly I'm upset, it's shocking how you gotta explain how it's not verbal abuse because they're joking around, or how Dick was the one in the wrong at times, or how Barbara should be allowed to be flawed... The amount of misinformation is crazy.
Speaking of flawed...
How is it that if she was "mean", they hated her, and now that she's "kinder" or whatever they hate it?
I thought they didn't like Babs being mean? Now she's kinder so...
Anyways, Babs makes mistakes. And many times she apologize about them. Just like many other characters. Why is she the only one who gets crucified over this?
If someone wants to add something in the comments, as always, feel free to do so if in a civil way! There are probably some things I've forgot or didn't explain well, as usual from me...