#indirect communication

[positronic-crisis]

autism in trek gifs #2

me, trying to understand indirect communication

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

Okay.

I have a theory / sort of question about neurotypicals.

(¿Is it just me, or...does this actually make sense to others too?)

Neurotypicals communicate indirectly a lot. Most of us know that. They’ll use body language, unspoken rules, “meaningful” eye contact, figurative language (analogies, metaphors, similes), etc. to “beat around the bush” (a metaphor meaning to hint at the real topic you’re discussing but never actually say it or explain it explicitly).

But many of them also use passive aggression. Not all of them though.

So...

Maybe the neurotypicals who use passive aggression as a form of indirect communication are traumatized & emotionally immature (because trauma).They’re people who were harmed by their own social rules, social hierarchies, & their (neurotypical) community.

So they now lash out (aggression) at people who are (1) different & in need of equity/accommodations (neurodivergent, BIPOC, disabled), (2) stating theories or facts they don’t like, (3) questioning the social rules, “norms”, hierarchies, & communities they’re a part of or accepted by (coincidentally, as I am doing right now), &/or (4) existing outside the social rules, “norms”, hierarchies, & communities they feel trapped inside. Or they lash out more subtly with (1) guilt trips (you did something bad) & shaming (you are bad), (2) passive aggression, &/or (3) dismissal of another’s perspective (often finding an excuse to not listen, such as “I have a better job than you”).

That’s not to say neurodivergent people can’t do this either, but it seems like neurotypicals do it more often.

It’s like instead of their usual indirect communication styles (body language, eye contact, assumptions & unspoken rules, etc.) they turn to ones that give them power, control, &/or assumed hierarchy above other people (oppression/suppression, bullying/abuse/domestic violence, lashing out, passive aggression).

They’re trying to reclaim the hierarchy they don’t seem to have among their peers by finding someone they can label as “lesser than” in some way (leading to oppressive (-isms (sexism, racism, ableism, antisemitism, etc.) & “phobias” (LGBT phobias (homophobia, a(spec)phobia, transphobia, etc.))) & disrespectful (of personhood) pipelines like “autistic nonverbal = stupid/[r word]”, “BIPOC = bad worker / only good as a slave / lazy”, “woman = slave to man / homemaker only / slut or whore”).

¿Do you see what I mean? ¿Does anyone else see this?

~Warren (he/xey; trauma holder, protector)

[thefeminineessence]

When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes.

Victor Hugo

[jadagul]

light-rook replied to your post: light-rook: argumate: I know a guy who when he...

but what’s the correct way to give them an out without indicating that you want to stop talking to them

Definitely not anything that implies you’re boring them, because then they’re obligated to disagree!

Like, if you say “sorry if I’m boring you, do you want me to stop talking?” then like 95% of the time people will say no, even if you are and they do, because that’s rude.  Which makes saying that sort of a power move.

To answer the question: part of it is tone.  I can definitely say “Should I let you go now?” in a tone that says “get the fuck out of my house”, and also in a tone that is like “you can leave if you want.”  I will say that there’s a big difference between “I should let you go now” and “should I let you go now?”  

Even better for “I want to keep talking to you but don’t want to keep you from leaving” is something like “Do you need to get out of here?”  People can say “yes, sorry, I have a thing at five”, or they can say “yeah, sorry, I gotta go”.  (Even if the reason they gotta go is that they cannot stand one more fucking minute of listening to me.)  Or they can say “no, we’re good, I was just checking the time” or something.  Or “I have to go soon but not now”.  It gives them a lot of flexibility to set parameters.  

But the big thing is to make it a question and not a statement.  Obvious in retrospect, but a statement is telling them what’s going on, and a question is letting them tell you.

[healingwgabs]

If you're dealing with indirect communication or bread crumbing, you are valid and not alone in feeling this way. It is a selfish and cowardly dynamic

[ivygirlielifter]

Pre-post Poll

How do you typically express disagreement in a professional setting?

I say it clearly and directly

I soften the message to avoid confrontation

I hint or imply disagreement

I usually stay quiet if I disagree

Voting ended onAug 30, 2025

[japanese-logic-digest]

The Architecture of Ambiguity: How Japanese Logic Uses Vagueness as a Strength

In many cultures, vagueness is treated as a flaw—a lack of clarity, direction, or strength. In Japan, it can be a form of intelligence. Vagueness, when practiced intentionally, becomes a powerful tool of communication, empathy, and social equilibrium. Japanese logic has developed a unique architecture of ambiguity: one that does not dilute meaning, but deepens it. Precision Through…

The Architecture of Ambiguity: How Japanese Logic Uses Vagueness as a Strength

[gracedmermaid]

Indirect communication

All things are saying something

Even in not

Speaking

Moving

Breathing

Something is being communicated

Perhaps this is just the term “passive” in a way

But this idea hit me

And it won’t go away