“Angel, wait!”, called Crowley. He sat up straight in the bed as Aziraphale scurried away, sheets wrapped around his curvy, plump, sweet body. Even without using his tongue to taste the air, the demon could smell a cloud of vulnerability, hurt and shame around his beloved angel. His heart felt like a holy spear was piercing through it. Bless yourself, Crowley! You are a fucking idiot! He could have hit his head against the edge of the bed.
“Aziraphale, it is not you”, Crowley said and got up. He wrapped the blanket around himself. “I do not regret sleeping with you or how you look like. I actually think you have a really cute tummy and your skin is adorably soft. I think you look beautiful in your own way. I do not care that you may not match typical beauty standards. It is not about you. My regret has to do with me entirely.”
He sighed. “I admit”, Crowley said, “Me, blurting out what I said may not have been the smartest move. But when I said that, I did not mean it in the sexual connotation.” His body tensed and he clasped his upper arm with his hands. Crowley looked down. “I meant literally eating you. Swallowing you headfirst until your body lands in my stomach, where my digestive juices break you appart…”
He pressed a hand on his stomach. “For Heaven’s sake, just saying that outloud makes me sick.” Crowley snapped his fingers and in the flash of a second a bucket landed between his feet. Not a minute too late. The snake demon dropped onto his knees and vomitted into the bucket. Since Crowley barely ate anything unlike Aziraphale, his cooperal form could not really throw up much. Just spit, gastric juices and bile.
Crowley shuddered as he slowly rose his head and looked back at Aziraphale. He croaxed: “I don’t know why but whenever I sleep with somebody, the snake wakes up after a while. Maybe it is because of the smells and the sounds, maybe the movements remind her of struggling prey… I do not know. Point is: As much as I love you, I was so terrified that she would regard you as prey. Hence why I blurted out what I said. I was glad that it didn’t happen.”
Crowley got up on his feet again. He said: “I get it, we should have had that conversation a lot earlier. It is just… I was so scared you would hate me, if I brought it up. I’ve gotten so good at pretending to be civilised around you that sometimes, if I squint hard enough, I believe it myself. But that does not change the fact that deep down I am a wild animal. An animal, I hardly know a thing about as I have kept her suppressed as much as I could. For your sake. You know I hate to be what Hell expects of me. And according to the majority, demons are supposed to be animals. And I do not want to be that. Especially not around you.”
Crowley’s frantic words soothed Aziraphale’s still frantically beating heart. His own insecurities had gotten the better of him, it seemed, betraying the vulnerability that still lurked beneath his soft and plush surface. There was no reason to doubt Crowley’s sincerity - Crowley, after all, had not once lied to him. Slowly, feeling suddenly very foolish and silly for jumping to conclusions so quickly, Aziraphale turned back to him.
“Oh, my dear!” Instantly, as soon as Crowley had fallen to his knees and retched, Aziraphale was at his side, petting his hair and back in dismay. A snap of his fingers and a glass of water appeared, to help clear the demon’s mouth of the wretched bile taste he surely had to be experiencing.
It was rare that he saw the true Serpent of Eden in all her glory. He had been under the impression that Crowley kept that part of himself tightly under control. Was this the reason why? His heart ached then for his lover. How long had he feared the scenario he’d described? How long had he suffered alone, afraid to share his worries?
“You are not an animal, Crowley, and I would never, ever hate you,” The angel said, softly, taking one of the demon’s hands in his own. “I… don’t want to dismiss your fears, my love, but I suspect they are not quite as rational as you imply. You… I know in my very heart that you would not hurt me, no matter the form you took. Not once have you ever raised a hand against me, even when I perhaps would have deserved it. She may be a part of you, but she is not all of you.”
He pressed plush lips to Crowley’s elegant hand, peppering kisses across the arch of his knuckles. “-And, well. You should know as well as any that snakes do not, ah, consume their mates post-coitus. Actually, sexual cannibalism is rather rare in the animal kingdom, as I understand.”
“… Now, if you were perhaps, say, the Praying Mantis of Eden, or the Black Widow Spider of Eden, this would be a different conversation entirely,” Aziraphale joked gently, “But you are not. You are the Serpent of Eden. You are my serpent, my most beloved adversary. And I know you would never harm me, at least not intentionally.”
