So I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Intouch and Korn. You guys are going to have to hear them.
First, let’s talk about Korn. He’s the son of a mob loan shark. People know who he is and they’re scared of him. And maybe rightly so, considering his family and his stoic, cold, unfriendly demeanor. But what are the odds that, at first, his family caused people to avoid him and then he just started putting up a front to keep people away? Because if you don’t try to make friends with anyone, you won’t be hurt when they’re too afraid of you to be friends.
I am willing to bet that when he was younger, he tried to befriend other kids at school and it eventually failed every time. Their parents told them not to hang out with him or their friends warned them against being near him. Basically, the exact same thing that happened when In walked past him and his friends were like, “He’s the son of a mobster, stay away from him!”
Korn is a loner. He delves into his books and stories. He stays away from people. Books are probably his escape from the harsh reality that is his world. He can imagine a different life, one where people aren’t afraid of him, one where his dad doesn’t have his whole life planned out, one where he can be himself and be loved and have friends and feel safe. Books are safe, books don’t judge. Those characters, they can be his friends, their stories can be his story. He can just live vicariously through them and stay in his lane in reality.
Then Intouch walks on into his life. This confident, adorable, sweet faced boy. This young man who was warned to stay away from Korn, who ignored his friends, who ignored all sense of reason and logic. He looked straight past Korn’s walls and said, “I’m coming in.”
Korn tried to resist In, he really did. But despite appearances, Korn does not have a heart of stone. He probably thinks that if he waits it out, In will get bored of this game and find someone else to flirt with. Someone safer, someone nicer, someone freer. But In just does not give up. He follows and flirts with Korn for at least a month, if not longer. Eventually... Korn just stops fighting it.
He let’s himself have this. Let’s himself have one sweet, kind, nice, soft, warm thing in his life. In brings him food and drinks. In waits for him. In smiles at him and is open and unafraid. In wants to take the time to get to know him, to see past the surface, and do things for him. In wants to care for Korn and take care of Korn.
Suddenly, In is like a flower, bursting its way up between cracks in the pavement. Fighting for life, bringing a little brightness to a dark, dingy city street. In is like the sun and Korn just wants to feel the warmth on his skin. Maybe ... maybe he deserves this.
He gives in. He starts to let him in. His defenses are down. And just like a crack in a dam, the water starts as a trickle, until the crack spreads and the wall breaks and everything starts pouring out. Bit by bit, Korn let’s In break down his walls and makes him feel safe. Makes him feel like one of the characters in his stories. Makes him feel like he can just Be. Just be the young man he is. Forget about his harsh reality.
In takes him to the beach, and they have fun. Korn probably can’t even remember the last time he had carefree fun. Maybe when he and his brothers were very small, playing in the street with other kids in the neighborhood. Before...
Sunshine and happiness are now a part of Korn’s life. Kindness and warmth. All because of In, this beautiful soul that loves Korn for some reason. Loves him with all his sweet, honest heart. And how could Korn not fall in love with him? In was brave enough to ignore all the bullshit, to take the time to get to know Korn, to accept him for who he is, not for the person everyone else thought he was, or the person his dad wants him to be.
And for this glorious moment in his life, Korn lets himself dream. Let’s himself believe that if they can just hold on... just wait it out... just stay strong for a little while longer... They can be free. They can run away and escape and be together. And nothing can get in their way.
Except they can’t. Because loving Korn means In has to suffer. Where In brings light into Korn’s world, Korn feels that he brings darkness to In’s world. He brings pain and suffering and fear. In’s father beats him, and Korn knows he’s the cause of it. He knows that, for all his dreaming, there’s no way they can truly escape reality. Maybe one day In can be free. One day, maybe In can get away from the pain and suffering of the world, he’s brave, strong, resilient. He’s so much stronger than Korn. He will survive this world. And he would be better off without Korn holding him back.
Korn isn’t strong. Not strong enough to break free. Not strong enough to survive being the cause of In’s pain and suffering. Not strong enough to watch In’s father hate him for loving Korn. In will be stronger. And that’s why Korn takes his life... because he doesn’t think In will follow him. He thinks In will grieve, suffer for a time, then move on with his life. He never dreamed that ... In would be so heart broken, so lost without Korn... that he would follow Korn into the dark.
