hi i need to ramble/maybe ask for advice anonymously and didnt know where else to go
sooo theres this person (it/they) and some of us kind of have a crush on them? its weird and unclear idk. and today, i started thinking they might like us back, but....
they dont know we're plural.
i dont want to have to explain plurality + in-sys relationships to someone, and im not sure it will even be okay with dating us if we wont break those off or even if they know we're plural.
idk i just needed somewhere to vent/ramble a little. thanks!
Hi! As far as coming out to this person as a system, we have this post (<- link!) with a lot of advice for how folks can go about doing that!
If you have headmates who hope to maintain their inside relationships while also being a part of potential outside relationships, have you considered polyamory as a label for them? It is absolutely possible to love multiple people at once, and those who fit this description could be considered polyamorous!
The blog @intuspluric-culture-is is specifically for culture regarding romantic in-sys relationships, we believe! If you search their blog, perhaps they’ve published an ask or answered a question previously on how to go about managing inside relationships and outside relationships both at the same time?
Maintaining inside and outside relationships can be messy, yet fulfilling and beautiful! What helps relationships like these succeed more than anything else is communication and making time for each other, in our opinion. We have a QPR in our own system, the members of our partner system are dating each other, and we as as system are married to our partner system’s collective! In order for all of us to make this work it does take patience, effort, attentiveness, and communication from everyone involved (as they’re able to!).
Best of luck to you all with whatever you decide to do! We hope that any future relationship y’all have, whether inside or outside, brings you all happiness, peace, and fulfillment!