i take pride in calling myself dominant and possessive. because i am. it's simply just the flavor of my love~ i refuse to alter it.
i loathe how easily these concepts are equated to being harsh and forceful, though.
❴ ✩ .❵ dominance is about trust. i do not take power from my lovers; they give it to me, because they know i will be responsible with it. they know that i will care for them, and guide them, and provide for them, and comfort them.
it does not make them beneath than me.
❴ ✩ .❵ ownership is about intamacy. when i tell them they are "all mine", i do not mean they are "only mine". i mean that every single piece of them belongs to me. can it also belong to others? of course, that takes nothing away from me. they're still mine.
it does not restrict their freedom.
i am dominant, and i am possessive, and i'd sooner rather feel my wings burn atop my back all over again than love any other way than this.
ok looking back it is. really fucking funny that a lot of my advice for single/new subs was to learn to Dom yourself well + self-regulate...given that my inner "Dom" who took care of aftercare for me was a whole ass other guy the whole time. syscovery is WILD
A term for alters in an intra-system relationship with a different universal version of themselves. This is also inclusive to past/future versions of oneself. Example: An Ink Sans fictive in a relationship with an Error Sans fictive.
I hope I explained this correctly lol
This is essentially a combo flag of the Intra-system relationship flag and the Amasuiverse flag
Finished up an article about fucking your headmates, for those interested. If the idea of plural folks being adults who might want to fuck in-system bothers you or makes you cringe, then block and move on. Enforce your own boundaries. If you're interested, keep reading.
Obviously NSFW subject matter. I'll give a SFW preview below the cut, but if you want the full thing, it's on my site. I don't trust Tumblr not to nuke it otherwise.
Consent
Consent doesn't stop mattering when you share a head. Get consent, and get it clearly, before you do any fucking.
Ask your headmate if they're open to whatever sex acts you're hoping for. If they say "no", then don't do it. Full stop. If they say "yes", then you might want to do some more negotiation to make sure you know what they're agreeing to. You might want to make lists of what each of you is into (and bugged by- any limits?).
Keep in mind that someone's emotional leakage might not reflect what they actually want. Maybe you can feel someone else being horny in your direction. Great. Ask them about whether they want sex anyway. Horny doesn't mean that they want to fuck you. It just means they're horny.
If you've got communication that doesn't rely on words, then figure out a way to say "yes" and "no" with whatever you've got. Horny on its own doesn't mean "fuck me". Horny with a mental image of them beckoning might. Horny and your head nodding on its own might. Horny and a written note saying "please fuck me later, I'm open to these specific things" might. Get creative with what you have, do a few test runs to make sure you can tell the difference between "yes" and "no", and you've got enough to get basic consent.
Safewords
Make sure you've both got the ability to withdraw consent at any time. Things happen, and if someone hits a surprise trigger, flips out, or changes their mind, then you need to be able to stop. That might be as easy as saying "hey, stop". If you're kinky or don't have words, then it might be more complicated. You might want a safeword.
A safeword is a word or phrase that means "stop everything". That might be something like "pineapple" that'll never come up in dirty talk, but it might be something like "red/yellow/green" that gives you more information than just "stop" (red means stop, yellow means slow down or check in, green means "keep going"). Figure out what safewords work for you.
Not all safewords are verbal. If you're not able to talk in words or want a backup, then a safeword could be something like showing an image of a red flag, dropping an object, smacking you with a wave of unpleasant feelings, or whatever else you can come up with. Test the safeword before you start fucking. Make sure that it works: that they can use it, you can perceive it, and you can respond to it. A safeword is only going to help you if you can use it.
Actually Fucking
This is the part where you ask, "what is sex?" and I say, "it's whatever you want it to be."
Soleil and Lunar have grown a lot by the time of TD. They moved out and became a solo (technically duo) act as soon as they could (Lunar's idea, but Soleil was all for it) and their relationship with their parents is complicated. Soleil and Lunar understand that they never *meant* to cause any harm but they still refuse to acknowledge the harm their perfectionism did to Soleil. Soleil is at least willing to talk to them from time to time but Lunar is the one that keeps them from guilt-tripping Soleil into rejoining the troupe.
Soleil and Lunar are a much more coherent system by TD. They've got a headspace and figured out how to internally communicate while co-conscious, in addition to strategies to keep each other up to date while the other is unconscious. They keep seperate accounts on most forms of social media, not only does this let them focus on their own interests while fronting, but it also lets them DM each other important information/reminders/cute messages.
They've tried a bunch of different dynamics together, but have settled on an intra-system relationship because it makes them the happiest. Lunar makes no attempts to hide Lunar's feelings towards Soleil. Soleil on the other hand is much more shy/secretive regarding their relationship. Lunar doesn't blame Soleil, it's hard to explain that you're dating your own split personality and it tends to get some odd looks, but Lunar still wishes that Soleil would at least let their friends (Aka the main friend group/polycule) know about their relationship.
(This is all subject to change depending on how their story plays out in the future.)
(Also, I know I refer to Soleil and Lunar with they/them/their multiple times. Whenever I do that I'm referring to the two of them as a pair, and use their names instead of pronouns when talking about Soleil or Lunar as individuals)
