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One of the things I really, really hate about being disabled is how sometimes, you'll cancel a bunch of stuff & power down your life to make sure you can go to an event you're really excited for

Only to realize on the day of that you can't actually go to the event because you're doing too badly

And no-one gives you the previous things back, you just didnt do them either, and you're not doing this either and your life feels both so empty and overwhelming at the same time

#disability #chronic pain #mecfs #(in the process of diagnosis which is also such fun)#just had to cancel sth I was really looking forward to #and I just want to cry bc I am so done with not being able to do stuff #p #ira thoughts

It honestly really fucks me up how extremely normalized it is for people not to believe victims

Including from those claiming to believe victims

Someone posted a really long video talking against some of the points from that pro Neil Gaiman article, where he also discusses Council of Geeks' coverage of the topic and how its focus on "Bad Journalism" really works like NG apologia in practice (which was also my takeaway from the videos when I saw them over a year ago)

Jessie Gender pops up to defend CoG. This is the same Jessie Gender who posted a video against Naomi King on her sideblog, where she victim blames King while misgendering them the whole video. Ah, but there is a disclaimer at the beginning that it wasn't intentional! And refilming the video would be too triggering! Apparently the video is both important enough it absolutely has to be posted AND not important enough for her to ask/pay a creator friend to redub the spots where JG uses the wrong pronoun, for example.

I still remember her community defending this.

Nonbinary people's pronouns aren't optional. I cannot see you as being pro victim after this video. As a nonbinary person, I was flinching with every single "she" used to refer to King. Gender is a prominent YouTuber, even if this was her side channel. To this day, I keep wondering if King saw the video and how it must feel to have your rape dissected, to be accused of being a liar by this prominent trans creator known for her kindness who didn't see the problem with uploading a video misgendering you. The. Whole. Time.

If one watches the response video of King's abuser, one can easily notice that nowhere in his narrative does he actually claim he got consent. His argument is mostly "Well they are established as being into me, so obviously it was consensual". I hope I don't need to explain why that is complete bullshit and why I am so disappointed in everyone who took it as an exoneration.

This just is not what siding with victims looks like. On any level. And quite frankly, even if you are 100% convinced NK's lying, that does not make it okay to misgender them, and even if it is an honest mistake, you don't have to upload the video.

#victim blaming #Naomi King #neil Gaiman #this really cannot be the advocacy we settle for #I really hope King is doing well #p #ira thoughts

Like I just struggle to comprehend how you can defend Gaiman.

He is literally admitting to fucking his live-in employee. He doesn't say that didn't happen, he just says "she initiated". He was BOTH her employer AND her landlord, do you really think there exists a world in which this is ethical? Keep in mind she has 3 kids and this is all happening in New York, do you really think she had ANY power in that relationship?

And there are all of his other victims, but again, in this case he's not denying that this happened. He is not denying having slept with a woman reliant on him for her wage and shelter and people just what, believe him?

And he is using the money he has and makes off of good omens and all of his other work to sue her. For breaking her NDA mind you, so hes saying she's telling the truth and just agreed not to.

If you're defending Gaiman, you don't care about victims. At most, there have been victims you've liked that you've sided with, but you do not care about preventing harm.

If you're supporting good omens and just choosing to ignore what he did, you're giving him money to use against his victims & social clout to harm even more people. No show is worth that

#tw abuse #tw sa #neil Gaiman #p #ira thoughts

I hate how the more marginalized/disabled you are, the harder it is to find help.

I'm the only foreigner most of the time, so there is this resistance I have to overcome, on top of people's prejudices.

Im trans, only I often can't even bring that up bc I do not feel remotely safe to do so.

I bring up not being able to eat in a large cafeteria with almost 200 other ppl bc it's too loud? "Well for the weekend you can carry your meal to your room and back". I'm physically disabled so it's a miracle I didnt drop anything.

People will not shut up about how I need to speak more slowly, but I have been struggling to breathe & feeling so unsafe the whole time, I cannot do that.

And the more you explain how a solution a professional has doesnt work for you, the more you are treated like the problem and like you're just being difficult and uncooperative. I hate this so much.

#disability #autism #intersectionality #I would really appreciate some kind words if anyone has the time/energy #I've been here less than a week and already just not managing at all #p #ira thoughts

It really sucks how often I just start a new game and am faced with a caricature of my culture

Does Courtenay Taylor seem like a great VA? Absolutely

Should she have gotten a role faking an over the top Slavic accent instead of an actual Slavic VA just using their actual accent? Not really no

#date everything critical #really enjoying the game itself overall #and I like dasha!#I'm just so tired of how often this happens #our accents aren't jokes #please have some respect for our culture(s) ist GG #p #ira thoughts

Okay okay I finished Raybearer and it was really good

So I started the second book, Redemptor, and it was a bit slow to start with, but I'm around a quarter in and it just keeps getting better the characters & commentary are so amazing

Both are YA, but everyone's emotionality, especially the emotional world of the main character, are so well-written and nuanced, I strongly recommend the duology!

#raybearer #redemptor #ira reads #p #ira thoughts

This is a longer post but it really bothers me how if people know you're autistic they will link everything back to it

I was talking to a doctor today re: noise accommodations and he was p dismissive and all "ah it's all super individual, we'll figure it out" (aka we do not care enough about that symptom to have some basic accommodations prepared and will be expecting you to manage your symptoms on your own with minimal support :))

And the person I was sitting next to while on the phone goes all "yeah that's really terrible to do to someone with autism"

And like. I know you mean well. But telling ANYONE "hey we don't actually plan to accommodate your disability in our rehabilitational facility :)) if that doesn't work out for you, you can just end your stay early :))) sure your insurance will make it out to be your fault but thats not our problem :)))" would be a shit thing to do and a source of a lot of stress, it being specifically about autism is just the cherry on top.

Like, not everything is a symptom, disabled people are allowed to just be bothered by stuff without being seen as extra sensitive due to their disabilities