#irl angst

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

So on the way to that little spiritualist shop which was only 25 minutes away by bike, Siri made me go through wilderness trails because I had chosen the “less busy roads” route… and I hadn’t anticipated how difficult these trails would be.

First she made me go through ankle-deep swamp water from the rainfall (should’ve anticipated it from the night before but I’m a little dumb like that), then these really tightly-enclosed, tightly-winding, rough, steep, downhill passages which I couldn’t even ride my bike through without breaking my fucking neck. I had to tensely jog/scuttle my bike down these stupidly-dangerous hills on foot, in the middle of a hatch with at least five mosquitos in my face at any given moment. And THEN the path narrowed to two feet wide and went UPHILL at a 60-degree angle. I tried to go up it, but I realized I couldn’t go up any more without falling and sliding down the mini-cliff because of the mud and the fact that I was hauling my bike on foot. But I also couldn’t go down either because the path was two feet wide, muddy, and I couldn’t turn my bike or myself around very easily… so I was kind of stuck there for a bit thinking about how the hell to get down without bathing myself in mud and breaking my neck. And in the meantime the mosquitoes are using my face like it’s a tavern. AND THEN THIS KID AND HIS DAD WALKED BY AND WERE LIKE “HI HOW ARE YA?” ????? I’M FIGHTING FOR MY FUCKING LIFE UP HERE THANKS FOR ASKING.

But of course I said “Good” because I am no delicate little flower; I am a hard ROCK and man/woman enough to handle myself. Toxic masculinity for the win!

So I waited for them to pass so no one would see me eat shit on my bike because I would rather eat shit on my bike than have mosquitoes eat me. Also, it looked like they exited the woods, which is precisely what I wanted to do in that moment. So I very VERY carefully turned myself around and mountain-goat scuttled myself and my bike downhill with the bike backwards, without eating shit.

Anyway once I got the chance to look in a bathroom mirror when I went to the mall after going to the spiritual shop, I realized that I’ve been walking around this whole time looking like I’ve been punched in the eye because of the stupid mosquitoes. And I have work in the morning. Lord have mercy

[overwatch-angst]

I don’t like Cole Cassidy

Call him Joel Morricone. It’s a better name and it keeps his initials the same AND it was already right there in the lore so it doesn’t feel as... awkward. I also just don’t like names that have alliteration, it’s always made me cringe. I won’t be calling the cowboy this and I’m not looking forward to them changing his voice line when he loads up T.T

[calxone]

im crying over lotor and lotura pls help me

[portalportalau]

Ok for the dream arc. I sometimes have nightmares where I wake up in sleep paralysis and start hallucinating. Once I get out of sleep paralysis I fall back into the nightmare and wake up a few minutes later again in sleep paralysis. This cycle goes on for like an hour or until I'm conscious for long enough to grab a distraction. What if this happened to Max when he dies in the nightmare and it would keep happening until he either finished the level or (with great effort) pulls himself out of it?

Okay

1. I’m so sorry????? Gosh that sounds like hell? But um, thanks for contributing that angst to the au?

2. Yes.100% I could see that happening to Max. Also J E E Z I’M SORRY???

[flavoredcement]

broo someone take tumblr away from me (sex and stuff, shed, substance use)

every single time i do something my mind goes RIGHT back to sex! pretty much irregardless of who i'm thinking about

i'm always thinking about being fucked or doing SOMETHING sexual with someone

even when i'm with my family, by myself, at school

i can't get out of it

sometimes i love it

sometimes i realize that it's ruined me

sometimes i know that my fantasies have been spiraling and devolving into grotesque reconfigurations of what happened to me with the characters i've so pitifully fallen in love with

i know the things i desired were bad, and i'm revolted by the idea of them happening to anybody else

i've been found outby the people i love most and i just hope they understand that it's about me

i think i'm sick

it's all about me, no matter what i do

i masturbate until i cannot feel anything anymore

it feels good until the other thoughts come in and i take my blade and slice on my tan lines

but that turns me on even more

i hate it when my teeth chatter and my legs shake when i walk but nobody notices

i hate it when i repost concerning things for attention and nobody notices

i hate it when somebody notices and asks me what's wrong

i hate telling them what's wrong and only talking about issues that i have

i can't be fun or goofy unless i'm using a substance

i love using substances

whether it's weed or nicotine or alcohol

i really love it

but i know it's destroying me

i miss what i used to be

i miss being able to purge all of my food and feeling so light afterwards

i miss not having to pretend i don't still have bulimia

i hate being pretty but not pretty enough for anybody to truly want me for anything more than what i can offer in bed

i want to be used in bed but it's also my worst nightmare because of how deeply i crave romantic affection

[rios-prettiest-butch]

Oh man this is gonna hurt

[adultingpanda]

I hate the zone of knowledge that I'm in when it comes to comics. Like, I know more than the average Joe, to the point where I confuse/annoy non-comic readers when I talk about them. At the same time, I don't know enough to really talk shop with other fans. It's been 10 years! And, I'm still in this zone...

[matcha-andcriminalintent]

I recently reached out to my old best friend whomst i haven’t really spoken to in about a decade bc we lost touch after freshman year of high school and reaching out went well and we’re gonna go out for coffee to catch up and everything and all of that is very well and good and wonderful but the reason I’m freaking out is bc this girl was my gay awakening and I had a big dumb gay crush on her from sixth grade to the end of high school like this crush was worse than the big dumb gay crush I had and still have on the woman who eventually became my girlfriend