Right, stumbling out of my too busy coma to talk more about pulling your punches with writing. I've tried to describe this several times with other writers, and get a lot of blank looks because my definition of words is hodge-podge of also vaguely wrong definitions.
What I mean by "pulling your punches" is holding back and avoiding the hard choices. This is both in terms of character and plot. As much as we joke about torturing our characters, sometimes it is hard to make them go through the most difficult thing because we like our characters, and we want the readers to like them too.
In contrast, it's much easier to make those choices in fanfiction, because they're not really "our" characters. We don't bear the responsibility of what happens to them in original narrative. (Yes, I realize I am talking about totally made-up, not real people. Bear with me.)
The tricky thing is determining when you are holding back. Often this takes the advice of a beta reader, but sometimes they can't always help, because only you know what you're holding back on, and half the time you're not aware of doing it. Hard!
When you're editing your scenes or going over your outline, take the time to consider the worst-case scenario in each one and the following consequences. You're not going to always go with the most extreme option, but laying it out can help you see if your current scene feels to weak.
Another thing to remember is that this often comes up because your characters wouldn't want to experience that. When you're trying to write them as true to their character, you can also unconsciously shield them from choices, consequences, and realizations they need to face. If it feels like your character isn't progressing (or a beta reader points that out), going back and yanking away what's shielding them.
You're only going to be able to determine this on your own story, but let me give you an example of mine. A critical part of my plot is my main character realizing her father is a bad person and she can't live with him anymore.
This sounds easy to do, but I have a lot of sympathy for both characters. The MC's father is facing terrible decisions and acting in the belief that he's protecting his daughter. The MC has spent her whole life with only her dad to rely on, and life without him seems far more frightening.
This took years to untangle. I spent too many drafts where the MC would not fully confront her father about his failings, because I never had her admit them in the story. I had to put the book away and write two other ones before I could look at it again and realize the obvious: the MC had to directly confront her father and fully commit to leaving him. Every other issue with the book fell in line once I figured that out.
If you're stuck on this and spinning your wheels like me, getting feedback on your story is the most helpful way to see the flaws in it. If you're not able to get that feedback, going through and asking yourself "How do I make this situation worse?" for both the plot and the character can help you pinpoint those missing steps.
